My Stool Sample Is Better Than Yours

I'd like to introduce you to a valued member of the Smiling Infidel family never before pictured or profiled. We've lovingly dubbed him, "Tex", and he's the best "foot" stool to park a rump on ever made.

I inherited Tex back in my teenage years from a friend who got it from another friend that made it as an art project in school. All three of our Moms protested and declared, "EEEWWWW, what is that? Get that hideous thing out of here". Apparently suburban Mothers don't appreciate the fine artistic quality of a stool masterpiece crafted to look like disembodied legs and feet. I, however, coveted Tex, and refused to throw him out as my Mom demanded. My husband, Papi, hated Tex too, and also tried to evict him during the first year of our marriage. I think Papi felt insecure about me sitting on something named Tex.

We've weathered seventeen years together and his sturdy construction has never faltered in any way. My toddlers use it as a means of reaching the sink in our bathroom. Guests have been known to actually fight over who gets to perch regally atop Tex. This would include missionaries too. See, even God fearing men love Tex, and they're not ashamed to squabble over him. Just last week Papi performed a balancing act involving Tex rarely seen outside the circus. Too lazy to get the ladder from the garage to change the air filter in the ceiling, Papi balanced Tex on top of a chair, and then forced me to hold it steady. Good old Tex, he didn't waver for a moment and supported Papi's weight.

If any of you want to venture to Texas for an amazing photo opportunity with Tex, just let me know, and I'll schedule you in. Tex will even personally stamp the picture with his own foot. Act now, and you'll be granted five whole minutes to sit on Tex for free. How sweet is that?