Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Conversation From A Gas Station

I feel as though this post should be accompanied with a caveat. I'm currently sick. I mean, really, really sick. Fever, sore throat, runny nose, headache, ear infection, dizziness, the whole enchilada. It's also entering the fourth day of nonstop rain in Houston. Luckily, our end of town hasn't flooded yet, but Harris County and all surrounding areas are under flash flood watch. Keep this in mind, because under the influence of Theraflu, the following interaction might not be as funny as I perceived it in the wee hours of the morning.

Per tradition, as a "lady of the night", I often make a foray to the corner Exxon store for bottled water and such. I've gotten to know the attendant, Barbara, pretty well and we always have a few laughs when I stop in. Nearly every morning this short, skinny guy of about 40 stops at Exxon the same time I do. He's always clad in head to toe black and buys cigarettes and coffee. Personally, I think that's what stunted his growth. Anyway, at 3:30 A.M., he walks in, turns to me, smiles, and says, "Hey, you're in here all the time too. We must work in the same profession". To that, I laughed and said, "WOW! You're a caged go-go dancer too? What a coincidence." Barbara cracked up, and so did I. The man in black didn't. What a pity, I might've given him a fistful of dollar bills to shake it. Talk about missed opportunities.


omar said...

Mmmm, enchilada.

Sorry about your illness, but I'm glad it's not bad enough to stop you from go-go dancing.

Mormon Family Man said...

Still wondering what his profession actually was? Did you ever find out?

mullet said...

Now had he been dressed in sunshiney chipper yellow...he mighta found it funny. Also - maybe you touched a nerve...could he have been forced to go-go dance against his will?

mullet said...

I think that guy might be stalking you!

jams o donnell said...

Hmm you may have hit it bang on the nail! Perhaps unde the Bill Hicks/Johnny Cash attire he had the tight lycra shorts on he wore during a long night shaking his booty for dollars!

NuVital said...

Nope, it wasn't the Theraflu. That was DAMN Funny!

Way to go having the guts to go to a convenience store at 3:30 a.m.

Lianne said...

OK, I'm going to try that comment again with my REAL identity. Please ignore my evil twin.

Nope, it wasn't the Theraflu. That was DAMN Funny!

Way to go having the guts to go to a convenience store at 3:30 a.m.

Elizabeth-W said...

Elastic, you are a quick draw. I think of those witty things but about 30 minutes too late :( Now, if you're really brave, and we know you are since you go to anyplace at 3 am in Houston, you'll need to ask him how "business" is next time you see him.

Moi said...

You even crack me up when you're sick. Talk about talent.

Syar said...

guess the smokes and the java stunted his sense of humour too. what was that? that was good quality chuckles!

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Omar, enchiladas are the secret power source for my funkadelic dance moves.

Dressed in black like that MFM, I'm thinking that with the right hat he could find work as a professional mourner or live stage performer imitating SNL's, "Sprockets", routine.

Everytime I see the name, say no to mullets, it makes me smile inside. I don't know about the U.K. but America definitely has strict laws banning the act of forcing people to dance while in bondage or enclosures. I think they call it the "Princess Leia Law".

Hey Jams, what a way to make a living. I can imagine his secret internal trauma everytime "It's Raining Men" or "Macho Man" plays on the radio. On the bright side though, he's could possibly be the very best customer ever at the Dollar Store. Shaking it for dollars really adds up.

Hooray, all of lianne's personalities endorse me. Now I've got her and SYBIL on my side.

The area is relatively low crime with a lot of Constable patrol, it's not like I'm risking certain death for my morning treat, elizabeth. Business for him is probably good considering the reduced price on a mini cage to house him and his dance moves. Full price, full size, go-go cages really cuts into profits.

I am SICK, carrot, in every sense of the word.

You made me laugh syar. I've known many people in Church with a stunted sense of humour and they can't even blame the hard living angle, since we don't smoke or drink. Hmmmmm, I guess having a stick up your butt does induce humour and personality repression though. Papi refers to said individuals by elbowing me and saying, "They're in desperate need of stick removal surgery".

For newer readers here, the funny part of this transaction is the fact that I'm a fat, conservative white chick who doesn't even own anything properly sequined, sleeveless, low rise, or thonged. That goes a long way towards explaining the look on that guy's face.

wendela said...

You're braver than I am- I don't chat up anyone around here very often in the daylight, much less 3:30 AM (mainly because most don't speak the same language). At least he smiled when he talked to you. Maybe a future interaction will bring forth a chuckle from him. Maybe he's just trying to figure out where it is you're a dancer. ;-)