Wednesday, June 21, 2006

My Little Caterpillar Is Morphing Into A Beyootiful Butterfly


Today is the grand celebration of Caterpillar's 7th birthday! We call her Caterpillar due to her caterpillaresque furry little eyebrows. Yes, we've produced another future depilatory consumer. Like Mother like daughter. *sigh*

It's an unspoken law of femininity that whenever you get to know a woman, she will always, without exception, eventually tell you one of her birthing stories. Caterpillar is our first homebirth. We found ourselves lacking health insurance and decided to seek out an affordable birth alternative and found an amazing mother/daughter midwife team. They provided all of the prenatal care and things went smoothly. Early in the morning, I felt intense labor pain, but sent Papi off to work anyway. Meanwhile, I frantically cleaned the house. Too bad I can't bottle that maternal nesting instinct to spray on when I need cleaning motivation now, because I sure don't have it like I do while pregnant. I didn't want to make a spectacle of myself and have the midwives staring at me for hours of labor, so I waited to call them. Well, I delivered her all by my lonesome, in the tub, with three sleeping kids close by. As you can see, everything turned out fine despite the initial freakout at what happened.

When we went to Church the next week, members kept telling me that I was like a "pioneer" woman. That's laughable. I never once saw a picture of them traveling through the dusty wilderness with a garden tub perched inside a rickety ox-driven wagon, bringing forth the fruit of their loins while listening to soothing smooth jazz classics. Whatever, I still enjoy having a reputation as a tough old bird.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CATERPILLAR!

18 comments:

mullet said...

Happy Birthday Caterpillar!

Lianne said...

Happy birthday to you and to her! I tried for home births, but they never panned out... I still had 4 natural births, though.

She's beautiful!

jams o donnell said...

I hope Caterpillar has a great birthday

omar said...

Happy birthday, 'pillar!

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Thanks for the birthday wishes!

Admit it though, another tired, old birth story is much easier to avoid in written form than when someone wants to discuss it face to face. Then, there's just no escape. You'll be forced to hear all the grisly details about bloody mucous plugs, emergency episiotomies, meconium covered babies, enemas.......

Lia said...

Happy birthday! I always thought the mother should be wished happy birthday, since she's the one who actually gave birth. Happy birthday to both of you!

Moi said...

Happy birthday Caterpillar! You never cease to amaze me EWL!

Elizabeth-W said...

I love to hear birth stories!!! If ya can't take the gore, I don't know, get out of the birthing room.
Happy Birthday to Miss Caterpillar!

Syar said...

happy birthday caterpillar! I see no furry eyebrows, but I'll take your word for it.

as a teenager who frequently squirms and crosses her legs at stories of childbirth, I find that story truly awe inspiring and cool. scary as hell, but so cool.

wendela said...

A Super Birthday to Caterpillar! What a pretty young lady. :)
Wow, what a story. Like lianne, I also had natural births but not at home as you did. And alone? Sheesh. There's a good story worth telling!

There's a tall statue in our city honoring pioneer mothers- I'll have to take a look if she looks anything like you, elastic. She does have her trusty rifle at her side, even while holding the baby.

Mormon Family Man said...

Happy Birthday!

Radioactive Jam said...

I'm glad to be the first to wish you a happy belated birthday.

We had our first-born at home. Lived in Texas at the time... Hmm.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Do you stand all amazed, carrot?

Hey wendela, a baby in one hand, a rifle in the other??!!! No, not even I, am that tough. So, you and lianne and radioactive spouse delivered naturally? I had four natural births, and two horribly excruciating induced births. Us women are the shiz!

radioactive, tell me more, tell me more. Where in Texas did you live? How long ago? Did you guys like homebirthing? We got into it for financial reasons but then loved it so much, I've decided that barring medical complications, I won't go back to the Hospital again.

So, now that I've enjoyed your rapt attention, can I start telling you guys my post birth hemorrhoid stories?

Radioactive Jam said...

There's a small problem with the whole Texas story. As so often happens, *my* "version" of Radioactive Texas will differ from Radioactive Spouse's... so I need to give her a chance to tell her version first. I'll start working on it.

Such "delicate" negotiations can take a little time, sorry.

"...Tell the internet about Texas? Are you INSANE?!"
"Um... possibly. Does that matter?"
Etc.

Miss Biotech said...

Happy belated B-day, caterpillar!

Such a cute picture! So happy to see her smile.

You, infidel, are one rugged individual. Good job! I like the "tough old bird" description BTW ;-)

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Hey miss biotech, I made her some fancy pancakes with some of those blueberries we hand picked. She's at an odd angle in the picture because I wanted to get in the original artwork pieces hanging in the background. It made her look slouchy, happy, but slouchy.

Fine, radioactive, I didn't realize that homebirthing in Texas was a super secret, tight lipped affair that you couldn't share with one of your closest blogger friends. I guess I'll just have to wait for your book to come out like everybody else.

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

Holy crap, that IS quite the birth story. Amazing! Hope she had a great birthday.

Annie said...

I was glad to hear the live version from you last night. It was good talking to you. I hope you are having a good Sunday. Talk to you soon.