Monday, August 21, 2006

A Deeper Shade Of Soul

We live in a multi-cultural and diverse world. As such, we have felt parental compulsion to teach our children that judging others by the color of their skin is inherently wrong and displeasing to their Heavenly Father who regards us all as his spiritual sons and daughters. We've emphasized the philosophy of embracing color blindness so tenaciously that we are now reaping the fruits of our labors.

Our 3 1/2 year old daughter, Melody, cannot and will not distinguish colors at all.

In an effort to persuade her to learn them, I use the one technique she always responds positively to.......CHOCOLATE. So, last week I purchased the huge 2 pound bag of brightly hued, candy coated goodness that is M&M chocolate candies with the intention of teaching colors using a reward system. Whenever she correctly identifies the candy color, she's earned the right to claim it as her own. Man cannot live on the knowledge of M&M colors alone, so I change up the routine every few days. Yesterday, I asked Melody, "What color is my shirt"? (It was purple) Puzzled, she stared long and hard at my shirt before furrowing her brow and declaring, "Me not know". After a week of working on color concepts with her, I lost my patience and rudely sighed while brusquely telling her, "Fine then Melody. What color is my butt"? To which she smiled and yelled out, "WHITE"!

That earned her a whole sandwich bag full of M&M's.

14 comments:

White Man Retarded said...

What happened to the hairy pimples?

the flying monkeys said...

"Me not know". How sweet!

the flying monkeys said...

...and am guessing i.e. going by the beauty of your sweet Melody, you are one intelligent beauty. Yes?

the flying monkeys said...

Ok, I'll give it another go: am simply guessing, like your arms are one color, but then your butt may be a different color (white). Do you know how to get the colors to match? You need to get some color to your butt.

Julie said...

When I got married, I had pink silk flowers. My husband insisted that the flower for his lapel not be pink. In his words, "That's the same color as my butt. I'm not wearing pink. I want a white flower." I told him, "Honey, given how long it's been since your butt has seen the sun, a white flower will STILL be the color of your butt."

Elizabeth-W said...

Love it! I'm totally with you on the whole color-blindness thing. For every 'white' baby doll or barbie, we have at least 3 not-white. So one day my daughter was telling me about someone from church, and I didn't know the girl's name. She said, well, she sort of looks like Julissa (who is one of our Cabbage Patch dolls of African descent). I think we've maybe gone overboard. She gets confused between Indians and East Indians. Native Americans are Indians? Way too tricky. The other day I was being goofy and I had a cloth headband which I use as a headband/sweatband, and I moved it from headband position to sweatband position, and was having a little richard simmons moment and my younger daughter told me I look like a Lamanite. We are programmed to put all things it categories. I guess if we can keep the ism's out of the categorizations, maybe it's not too bad???

wendela said...

That little Melody looks like what my mom used to call my youngest- a spitfire. :)

Moi said...

Since when did they start making white m&m's? YOur kids are so cute!

jams o donnell said...

LOL elasticwaistbandlady!

I always prefered Smarties to M&Ms myself but what you call Smarties are not the same!

Ach, skin colour is determined by just three pairs of genes out of all the many thousands. Mine dictate I burn under a 100W bulb!

Lianne said...

Pasty white butt.

christo said...

My butt's white too on account of me being Chinese.

Too much info? I think NOT!

elasticwaistbandlady said...

What hairy pimples? My Melody is unblemished and perfect in every way......just like her Mother!

obokun- Melody, with her fair skin, reddish hair, and green eyes is a walking recessive gene. The rest of us are much darker. Well, I'll go with intelligent beauty because at least I have something to compensate for lack of physical beauty.

julie, For reasons unspoken, there wasn't a trace of white at my wedding. :0

elizabeth-My older girls are tan with very dark hair and eyes. They're constantly asked by other kids if they're Mexican, to which they always say, "Nope. We're Texan". As though Texas is a country onto itself. I guess it used to be!

wendela, Sugar and spice she ain't!

carrot-I didn't even know that she could identify the color white. I blame it on my Clay Aiken CD. Too much "white soul" music has adversely affected her.

jams, I'm white, but my fur coat protects me from getting burned. I'll chalk that up to an evolutionary natural selection element.

lianne-TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE!

christo- What? Doesn't Malaysia have rotisserie, er, I mean, tanning beds? You could be like a golden roasted Chinese chicken in just a few sessions. This is where I start singing Barenaked Ladies. "Chicka the China, the Chinese chicken, get a drumstick and your brain starts stickin, watchin X-Files with no lights on...."

Anonymous said...

Yo' hairy buttocks, woman! I didn't mean your daughter's. Yuck, my last name ain't Karr...PH

tom said...

Your little girl is so cute.