Thursday, August 17, 2006

The Five People You Meet On Your Way To.......

Hometown Buffet!

Why is this man smiling? Because he had a brush with Smiling Infidel greatness five years ago, that's why.

That's right, I've actually met Mr. Samuel L. "Snakes On A Plane" Jackson. As customary in our quest to sate our refined culinary palate, the family and I chose to dine at one of the more upper crust establishments that North Houston has to offer, Hometown Buffet. Fine, it's not exactly champagne gourmet fare, but they do serve a mighty delicious prime rib. The silvery buffet steam table ambiance is also superb.

There we sat at our table for 7, gorging ourselves silly on fried shrimp because it happened to be Seafood Night, when suddenly I noticed a distinctly familiar man sitting at a table directly next to us, on the other side of the white beadboard partition. He sat there in his trademark red Kangol cap focusing on his plate while quietly eating. Well, after a few more trips to the buffet bar to soothe my nerves, I worked up the courage to approach him. Shakily, I asked, "Hey, has anyone ever told you that you look exactly like Samuel L. Jackson"? Startled, he looked up from his plate of chicken fried steak smothered in cream gravy, and with a mysterious grin, accompanied by a deliberate shake of his Kangoled head, said, "No. Nobody has ever told me that before". Well, by the time I scampered around the partition, leaving a treasure trail of breaded shrimp in my wake, to tell Papi that I just talked to a mega star, he abruptly disappeared, leaving nothing behind except a half finished plate of chicken fried steak. I've eaten the chicken fried steak there before. I did him a favor.

Okay, boys and girls, Mormons and Wiccans, leftists and right wingers, taste great and less filling, boxer and brief, paper and plastic, sinner and saints alike. Share with the masses your very best celebrity encounter. Of course, I also actually shook hands with Greg from The Wiggles. Jealous much?


omar said...

Before I get to my jealousy, let's discuss how they named a movie SNAKES ON A PLANE. After my initial disgusted amazement, I'm now not sure how I feel about it. Yes, it's the stupidest name I've ever heard for a movie. But now I'm starting to appreciate the straight-forwardness of it. It's saving me the trouble of ever considering whether or not I want to see it.

A movie called "Syriana"? I'll have to read a review to find out what that's about before I decide that I don't want to see it. But "Snakes on a Plane"? No research necessary.

I'm so worked up about that, I can't even continue. I'll be back later.

mullet said...

I wonder if samuel.l jackson is missing quentin tarrantino? SNAKES ON PLANES?????? Then omar says...the straight-forwardness of the name...mmm, sounds like my kinda title!

White Man Retarded said...

You met Mace Windu? How cool is that. At the first lollapalooza Ice-T gave me a dirty look from the soundboard which is located in the seats. Was it his insecurity at meeting a strong white man? I shook hands with Tim Delaughter and Steve Drozd, both very nice guys. Heather and I went to P. Spree last July 3rd and it was picnic seating, and the whole band was sitting literally around us. We were an island of non-spree members. I got James Iha and D'Arcy's autographs. Jimmy Chamberlain waved at me. When I was in basic training in '96, mi esposa bonita got a hand-drawn picture and letter from Wayne Coyne personally to me, and where it is I don't know. I met Darth Vader in a dream and cried because i felt his pain. Does that count?

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

I have stood in the presence of the greatness that is Weird Al Yankovic. This should come as a shock to nobody who knows me. But I've gotten his autograph backstage after two concerts. The second one, I had a bad case of the stares. I love this man. I would peel grapes for him.

And... that's about it.

I have to laugh at anyone considering "Snakes On a Plane" as an entertainment choice.

jams o donnell said...

Samuel L Jackson is a great actor. Okay here goes with my name dropping!

Through my current work I have met the Queen and Tony Blair (twice). I spent 5 years working as an Immigration Official at London's main airport. I got to deal with quite a few celebs including Chrisotpher Reeve and Kirk Douglas.. a fair few others too.

Music wise I have met my idols Robyn Hitchcock and Hawkwind but the jewel in my crown is Neil Armstrong, I went to work for a month at an airport in Scotland.. a private jet arrived and off came Neil Armstrong. Given that the moon landings were the defining event of my childhood (I was 6 when Neil A fluffed his lines when stepping on the moon's surface!). I almost did a Wayne's World "I'm not worthy!"

I hope work related meets are not cheating!

mullet said...

I've met Paul Kaye aka Dennis Pennis...small time I know, but it was excellent 'cos I love him! I came really close to meeting Billy Connelly, he was standing about 10ft away from me - didn't have the courage to approach him:( Remember that soap 'Loving'...Don't think it shown in britain, but it was in South - i met 'Eva' from loving - lucky me!

Becky said...

i went to a museum to see an exhibit of vatican frescoes, and farrah fawcett was right behind me and my boyfriend through the whole tour. didn't talk to her or meet her, since her entourage was very protective of her. she's all wrinkly and not so pretty in real life, but i shouldn't talk, cause i'll probably look like that too when i'm a thousand.

jedimacfan said...

I've met Clancy Brown from the Shawshank Redemption. His brother ran for Congress in Ohio and Clancy went door to door campaigning for him.

As for the Wiggles, my nephew,3, loves them but I consider them Satan Reincarnate.

wendela said...

I cannot say because it would break confidentiality agreements. ;-)

Moi said...

I cannot say who I've met, because I've never met anyone. Famous, that is.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Omar, just think if all movies took the straight forward, in your face, approach. There would be a lot of film titles like, "Gratuitous Booby Shots For No Reason", or "Predictable Plot Wrapped Around A Lot Of Explosions", or "Standard Chick Flick:Love, Loss, Laughter, and Sobbing Ahead". Most Disney films would be called, "Mothers Not Needed Here", and my favorite film is "You Just Spent Ten Bucks To See This Crap, Sucka"!

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Millie, Tis a true tale of two brothers torn by their lack of musical cohesion. One brother harboring undying love for all things Weird Al and actually followed him on tour like a groupie. While the other worshipped at the altar of They Might Be Giants, and followed them around for two summer concert tours also. Every moment together brought strife as they fought over which artist to play. Then, one day, a girl came along who dated both of them. She exemplified musical diversity and loved both groups. She married the Weird Al fan and taught him that the two brothers could co-exist peacefully despite their artist allegiances. If only she and her mediation skills had been around during the Civil War.

Brother one gave us the new TMBG CD for kids, NO!, a few years ago. While hanging around brother two means hearing about Weird Al concerts and listening endlessly to him during car rides.

millie, I totally envision you as a Weird Al fan! I like both Weird Al and TMBG.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Patrick, you've met a buttload of people. I'm more the hermit type, and if they're not hanging out at a buffet, likely I won't be meeting any more stars.

Hey mullet! I totally know who Billy Connelly is.

Wow jams, you do get around. I bet you've heard that before though. Did you enjoy high tea with the Queen Mum? I learned from Coast To Coast Radio that Neil Armstrong rarely grants interviews and keeps to himself. So, meeting him was definitely a disctinct honor.

becky, All her naked painting activities has really aged her. Soaking in acrylics with your butt can't be good for skin quality or preservation. Neither is dating droopy drunk, Ryan O'Neal.

jedi, are you the old fish and lemonade guy? That blog title still makes me smile, even a day later. I know very well who Clancy Brown is. He's the voice of Eugene Krabbs on Spongebob Squarepants. That makes him a superstar!

Syar said...

my favourite comment on the title of the movie came from a local radio dj who kept giggling every time he said the name of the movie on air as he was giving away tickets :

DJ : it just sounds like something I could have made up. like..scorpions (pause) in my closet! or spiders (pause in my shoe!

utterly ridiculous.

this samuel.L.Jackson/chicken steak story sounds familiar.

WV : thugw (is sam j reading this and threatening me for dissing his movie? eeep!)

Elizabeth-W said...

People I've seen in airports:
Donny Osmond (Houston-surprise)
Mary Lou Retton (Houston-no surprise)
Prince (during his symbol phase) (somewhere west coast)
Alice Cooper (Las Vegas-he looked like he'd been on a meth binge for about 3 weeks)
My husband saw Jay Leno in Wash DC a few years ago.
My list is pretty lame.

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

I think I read somewhere that Weird Al loves TMBG too. I think they're good, but my only exposure to them has been from watching "Malcolm." I'm so uncultured.

LOL at "predictable plot..."

elasticwaistbandlady said...

syar, I'm going to wave my magic amnesia inducing blogger wand. Yeah, I gave you a very mini condensed version of my crazed fan self with Samule L. Jackson. Today, the purpose of this blog entry will be revealed, for there are no such thing as coincidences.

elizabeth, You're list is better than mine. I've met Mattress Mac.....twice, in fact! Paul Anka's daughter lives in the neighborhood down the road, and I once saw him leaving her house. He drives a Mercedes with a custom license plate. It was something like PANKA. Yeah, Mr. Original himself.

Millie, We have "Birdhouse In Your Soul", "Stop, Don't Start", "Particle Man", and "Instanbul Not Constantinopole", on our perpetual playlist. Glad to know that the two musical geniuses never had to endure a "Celebrity Death Match" to determine the ruler supreme of the quirky oddball music niche market.

compulsive writer said...

LaVell Edwards gave me flowers once. I let him cut in line in front of me at the local nursery because he only had a couple of things and when the cashier offered him his free pansy for mother's day he gave it to me. Of course I played it real cool by avoided asking him if he was LaVell Edwards and instead asking him if he was Ann Cannon's Dad. (Ann is a columnist humor columnist I love from the Deseret News in Salt Lake City. She also happens to be his daughter.)

As for Snakes on a Plane, which I also panned in one of my blogs, apparently it's supposed to be stupid and that's the whole point. I also made fun of it at work and then I stood corrected by all the Internet junkies I work with who promptly enlightened me out of my ignorance.
Although I personally will not jump on that bandwagon--you couldn't pay me to see it--apparently its cult status among the tech crowd is legendary.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

First of all, all grammatical and spelling errors in my comment above happened while daydreaming about deep fried Twinkie treats. Yes, we homeschool our kids. Yes, I really DO know the difference between you're and your.

CW, I'm spending the next two days mocking Snakes On A PLane. It's good fodder to increase my blog post numbers. My friend, jams, has double the amount of me in half the time. My competitive spirit is restless..... I don't actually know who Lavell Edwards is, but Lavelle Industries manufactures toilet parts. If he's related to that Lavelle, then I secretly bow down before him and his toilet greatness, even though I'm the one seated on the throne!

jedimacfan said...

elasticwaistbandlady asked, "jedi, are you the old fish and lemonade guy?"

Guilty as charged.

jams o donnell said...

High Tea? it was over in a nanosecond!

btw Billy Connolly is a famous Scottish comedian. Pretty coarse but extremely funny. I think he did have a couple of very unsuccessful sitcoms in the USA - Billy and Teech if I remember what I read somewhere.

He has done some serious drama too. His most famous film was Mrs Brown the story of the relationship betwwn Queen Victoria and her Gillie John Brown (a gillie is a scottish expression basically it is a hunting guide). It is well worth watching if you have never seen it

compulsive writer said...

Elastic, I guess my brush with someone famous only counts if you happen to enjoy college football, because LaVell Edwards is only the seventh-winningest coach in the history of college football and coach of the once very acclaimed 1984 National Champion BYU Cougars.

That was the best I could come up with, but he also seems like a nice guy despite all his fame (within the state of Utah and on the gridiron, at least anyway).

But now I'll let you get back to roasting your flying serpent friends. It sounds like fun.

Robin said...

THis is gonna be hard to top. When I was 8yrs old or so I met the guy in Better Off Dead. John Cusak, you ask. NO. The owner of the burger place who Lane Meyer hits twice with his car while trying to race his asian buddies.