Monday, November 06, 2006

Conclusive Scientific Studies Show....

that cotton knit blankets, while snugly comfortable, provide a pathetically poor armor of defense against evil shadow apparitions.
I didn't have the heart to post the picture of the actual red eyed shadow figure that stalked and terrorized my poor Papi during his adolescence, but this cat eye contact lense is freaky enough. I mean, who outside of Marilyn Manson buys those things?

As a continuation of WOO WOO WEEK, we take you deep into the heart of Mexico, to the outlying mountainous suburbs of Mexico City where Papi grew up in a hard scrabble life without even one Taco Bell restaurant near by. Papi is/was/always will be a skeptical man. He's the Scully to my Mulder, attributing ghost stories to nothing more than hiccups of time and energy recorded and played over and over again. He discounts contacting "spirits", and the spirits who communicate back, along with aliens and U.F.O's as just further trickery of the Devil to confuse mankind and lead them astray from God. To some extent, I believe that theory. But Papi's very own terrifying encounter with a faceless, red eyed entity, makes me wonder how he can still believe that too.

In our faith, the young males who attain the age of 12 are then interviewed and deemed worthy or not of receiving the Priesthood. It's a pivotal stage in the life of a Church member, and Papi dutifully prepared himself for this event since the time of his early youth. His Grandmother, diagnosed with terminal cancer, came to live with the family, thus forcing Papi to give up his room, and share his sisters' bedroom.

As he lay sleeping one night shortly before his twelfth birthday, Papi awoke suddenly, and looked towards the open door. There stood something unrecognizable, cloaked in blackness, and staring back at Papi with piercing red eyes. Papi quickly pulled his blanket up over his head, refusing to acknowledge the presence that just barged into his room. While his sisters still slumbered on, the creature commenced to exerting a crushing pressure on Papi's body so that he could barely breathe. Even through the blanket, Papi could see the same crimson eyes meeting his. Papi started praying audibly, but in a small whisper, so as not to frighten his sleeping sisters. As he invoked the name of Jesus Christ in his prayer, the weight abruptly lifted. When Papi felt courageous enough to poke his head out from under his blanketed refuge, he saw not a trace of his attacker. Personally, K.C. And The Sunshine Band is my designated "Boogie Man." I guess Papi got assigned to someone less disco groovy, and far out.

Papi scoffs, and ridicules me for the stories I tell him revolving around our old house, but he neglected to reveal what happened to him until we had been in marital utopia (YES, that's right, marital UTOPIA!) almost 6 years. I sat in stunned amazement as the man who makes fun of everything and everybody took on a serious tone, and conferred that the entity visited him several more times to the day he actually received the Priesthood, then all activity ceased. That is, until, he readied himself to serve a mission at 18. The red eyed shadow figure returned oncemore shortly before Papi left, and each time Papi simply invoked the name of Jesus in prayer, and it thankfully disappeared. He never told his sisters anything about it.

A couple of years ago, while engaged in conversation with his sister, Coco, I mentioned the incident, and how odd that her and her sister slept through the attacks every time. Perturbed, Coco turned to me and quietly said, "The same thing happened to me repeatedly, but I never told anybody about it either."

Whoa.........

16 comments:

Super Happy Girl said...

Top post.
YESSSS!

Super Happy Girl said...

Ok, just wanted to make that clear...any one wants to fight me?
Didn’t think so.

You know what's funny? Our Boogieman is called "El Coco" (the coconut?). See? Papi's sister is Coco...so...it's funny.

Has there really been a scientific study that says blankets provide no protection against monsters? I refuseto believe this.

I came here looking for fun and laughter. Instead I get a conclusive scientific study.
:P

Ps: so what was it? the chupacabras?

Elizabeth-W said...

Did Xfiles do a chupacabra episode, or is this a term I learned growing up, or maybe both??
EWL-Of all the stories I've read thus far, this one sounds the most legit. I have heard so many guys tell the same story when they're heading on missions. Joseph Campbell wrote that "the difference between a religious experience and a psychotic experience is your preparation". I think missions put young men under extreme stress. But I also think that something happened to JS when he was 14 that scared the heck out of him.
So did it really happen to Papi's sisters, too, or was that poetic license? :)

carrie said...

Ewl I'm convinced you would make a fabulous late night talk radio host. Your stories are better than the ones I heard on Halloween night on Coast to coast with Art Bell.Have you ever listened to that program while you are out throwing papers? You should it's right up your alley.

Becky said...

disturbing.

almost as disturbing as the unwaxed eyebrow in the photo...

Unknown said...

Something similar happened to me in the mission field. I was in my bed, it was almost daybreak. I was about to get out of my bed to say my morning prayers, but there was a great weight on my chest. I tried to rise and I couldn't. I tried to open my eyes, but they wouldn't.
It could have been the same Being, but I really think it was flojera.

Bill C said...

What's the difference between marital bliss and marital utopia? I had that question on a quiz once and got an F because I. Didn't. Know. So any illuminatory help here would-- well, help.

Possibly.

glo said...

That's really freakishly awesome. I taught someone on my mission who gave up the lessons because of a "monster" that came to him every time he read the scriptures. I have to admit - it would be a bit daunting. Thank heavens I'm not that spiritually gifted.

Mimo- JenK said...

I don't think I've ever had goosbumps as big as I had while reading this! OY!!! Scary!
I hope my boys don't ever experience that!

elasticwaistbandlady said...

NCS- Don't you know that you're always numero uno?

We have a nightclub around here called, Coco Loco, and that's what we call my sis-in-law. She really loves that. Both her and my Colombiano stepmom are named Socorro. HELP! I wonder who decided that the word for help would make a great little girls name? Now then, conclusive scientific studies also show that native Veracruzians make the best blog comments, and that corn is practically undigestible.

elizabeth- I took absolutely zero creative license, nor did I embellish anything that I've written the past few days. I've told the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth with an occasional disco and Taco Bell reference thrown in for fun.

carronin- Former And Current Paper Carriers Of The World UNITE! Yes, I listened to almost all of the GHOST TO GHOST braodcast on Halloween, and I was bitterly disappointed. Supposedly, this year they were to use a rigorous screening process to weed out only the "best of the best". That is the one episode I look forward to all year, and they filled the airwaves with people droning on and going nowhere, hillbillies, and inarticulate men who couldn't make a sentence without long UUUUUUMMMMMM's, and overusage of "likes", and "you knows." As a listener, it's frustrating. Even after enduring horribly drawn out stories, often the conclusion wasn't even satisfying or plausible in the least. *sigh* I hope Art Bell is tormented by the "Ghosts Of Good Taste", and they force him to see the error of his ways, and he learns to interject and cut boring people off.

becky- Unwaxed; the better to brow beat you, my dear!

payne- The flojera monster lives inside you, and likely doesn't have "crap in your pants" scary red eyes looking back at you.

RAJ- Marital bliss is when you don't have a hissy fit when your spuse cuts his toenails in the kitchen, and you never go to bed angry. Marital UTOPIA is all that plus forced listening to Todd Rundgren and his former band, UTOPIA all day, every day.

glo- I've encountered creepy things in my life, but nothing on this level. Maybe, I'm not productive enough to warrant a menacing visit from beyond to stop me.

mimo- I know. I hope Papi left that thing in Mexico, and it doesn't show up around here. Maybe, I should just go ahead and buy those rubber sheets now.....

jams o donnell said...

LOL another great story.. You really should be Infidella, the dark seanachai (pron shanakee)of Texas..

Seanachi is a traditional irish story teller..

elasticwaistbandlady said...

jams- What? Not a SHAUNachai? Such blasphemy!

Emma Jo said...

I just wanted you to know that I still love and support your blog but I can't read this week...I'm still laying in my dark room and night and recalling stories of pictures off of walls, lying in straight lines on the ground...[singing give said the little stream, give oh give, give oh give...while rocking back and forth.]

Christy said...

Super spooky. I always felt creeped out about that section in the D&C which gives direction on what to do in case of an "encounter" I just know I would never remember. 'Wait, am I suppose to shake their hand, not shake it... what is suppose to happen when I shake it?' I would just scream and run away.

PS you'll be glad to know that Halloweeny Night is not the blog at the top any more. I thought the title was funny because Halloweeny is a funny word. I guess Halloween is a word that doesn't lend itself well to ending with a Y.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

on the run- I have a joke about gypsies and "crystal balls" too. You can't stop me at merely covering Halloweeny with a new post!

dem- Papi never threw any water on cute, cuddly creatures so that can't be it. Or are you talking the Gremlin car? Now, that's the stuff of nightmares.

emma jo-Don't Fear The Reaper! Red Eyed Demon is hopefully still in Mexico, and has been denied a passport to visit the United States because of our super border patrol enforcement. No worries, okay? I'm ending Woo Woo Week on a positive note, because Woo Woo isn't all creepiness and bad.

glo said...

I hear ya. I'll pretty much just mess up - so why waste the demonic manpower, right?