Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Thanksgiving Peer Pressure

Will somebody please get that turkey some dressing???!!!??

I'm giving in, and adding to the litany of blogs that have dedicated their Thanksgiving post to counting their many blessings and giving thanks. Although, not an original thought, I'd like to write this the Infidel way. Lest anyone think that I've gotten too perky.
1. I'm grateful for my family. My children are such a joy to be around(most of the time), and contribute much happiness to my life. My Papi is the sexiest nerd Mexicano to ever cross the border, and we share a profound love of chalupas together.
2. Everyone in mi familia is relatively healthy. Although, NOT healthy, wealthy, and wise. We're working on it though.
3. All bloggy friends. You've brought a new perspective, and light into my life that I didn't have a year ago. Thanks for the laughs, the insults, the Marie Osmond obsessed craziness. I love it!
4. Having a roof over our heads, food in our bellies, clothes on our backs, and broadband Internet connection. The really important things in life.
5. The Gospel Restoration and the Church swayed me from following down the path of being a homeless white trash alcoholic. Now, I'm a bonafide non-alcoholic white trash family woman! Seriously, my life changed dramatically after taking the missionary discussions. It's scary for me to think about the way destiny might have unfolded without divine intervention.
6. Not to sound trite, but I'm eternally grateful for indoor plumbing. When I hear my Grandma spin tales of nights out on the family's Indiana farm, stumbling around in blizzard conditions to use the outhouse, it make me want to give a four flush salute to Mr. Crapper himself! With these new water conservation toilets, it usually does take four flushes just to do the job.
7. I have to work tomorrow. Thanksgiving is heavily touted as the biggest newspaper of the year for good reason. We have a behemoth seven part paper in the morning. SEVEN! However much I despise my job, it has provided for our family off and on throughout the years, and allowed me to stay home with our brood. I will keep repeating this mantra throughout the night as I nurse my hands that are cracked and bleeding from the cold, and I try to throw 700 newspapers cheerfully without bitterness in my heart.
8. Having a vehicle to transport us everywhere we want to go. I don't like to wait around, and public transportation would likely cause me to implode with anxiousness. When I want a box of Twinkies, I want them NOW, not when Metro bus lines decides that its convenient for them.
9. My blog. For releasing the inner thoughts and feelings trapped within me for 31 years. It's like Pandora's Box, and now that they're all out and floating freely, you can't stuff them back in. Special thanks to genius, Omar Phillips, who redesigned The Infidel, and made it a much smilier place to be.
10. Did I mention how great my kids are? I've learned to overlook the complete destruction of my house. I've put aside the occasional wicked thought of what my house would look like if they hadn't been born. I've overcome my perfectionistic control freakish ways, to relax enough to love them for who and what they are, little mini human beings going through the life process and learning new things. Just exactly like the rest of us.
Share your blessings here. Mostly, because it satisfies the nosy side of me.


Elizabeth-W said...

I'm grateful for you, Elastic. I have laughed more this year at flatulence-related humor than I have in the past 20 years. I'm thankful to YOU! :)

No Cool Story said...

Aww, the Infidel's tender side :'-)

I agree with Elizabeth-w, I'm thankful for you, your elastic humor, your waistband wittiness and your panted dedication.

This post was super-awesome, and I shall re-read it tomorrow. You numbered your blessing to 10, I counted at least 100.
Have a Happy Happy Super Happy Day!

PS. CHALUPAS???!!? You have never mentioned chalupas before. I must know more about this. And I'm so coming to your house now.

Julie said...

Lovely. Seriously. I especially needed to hear #10 because I get all bent out of shape about the crazy messes all over my house. I just need to loosen the heck up already and enjoy my kids more. Your sense of humor is such great therapy. Can you bottle it and market it? Then you could give up the paper job entirely.

Syar said...

Happy thanksgiving! I couldn't be more thankful for the little blogging community I belong in, and so much more thankful that it includes you. :-)

carronin said...

I feel for you sister those Thanksgiving papers have to weigh least 7lbs. My biceps were sore for a week after throwing that blasted paper.I'm sure that our Daily Senile doesn't even compare to throwing that big city Houston paper.I'm grateful you still allow me to post after I professed my love for the Osmonds. I know I'm out of my league here ya'll are way cooler than me. Thanks for letting me hang with you anyway. Have a

jams o donnell said...

When my Pennsylvanian uncle (by marriage of course) was still in the UK, we used to go over for Thanksgiving. It used to be pleasant day, There were usually a number of other americans there - teachers from the Junior High School where my uncle worked. (the JHS served children from USAF bases in East Anglia like Lakenheath,Mildenhall and the now defunct Alconbury). A good day was always had.

One thing though - I am glad I will never have to see Succotash again in my life!

Seriously I hope you all have a great day. and ewbl, don't ever, ever stop this blog!

compulsive writer said...

Happy Thanksgiving to you too EWB!

p.s. love the turkey picture...

elasticwaistbandlady said...

elizabeth- Just doing my job, ma'am!

NCS-One day we shall meet and sup upon the greatest Chalupa feast in the history of mankind. Chihuahuas are optional.
You're making blush with such nice compliments. I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy!

julie-We all think that we're lacking as mothers. If you're anything like the personality conveyed through your writing, your kids will grow up just fine. Your blog always makes me think. You are the highbrow to my decidedly low brow.

(((SYAR)))! Thanks. Yes, we've cobbled together an interesting lineup of blog friends, you and I. International, old & young, funny, serious, the monkey obsessed. In real life, that is much more unlikely to happen.

carronin- I uphold all the tenets of the nerd oath everyday of my life. No, ma'am, you're the cool one!

jams!-In turn, sir, I'm thankful for learning new things and broadening my horizons at your blog. Most of the time I'm a goof in my comments, but you always make me think. Would I naturally seek out a political opposite who is so knowledgeable in world affairs to read? No! I'm just not that deep. Ahhhh, the power of blogger to unify people. Am I right?

compulsive writer- You should have seen the weird looks I got at the Williams Sonoma Cookware place when I asked for a bikini for my turkey. She was a 23 pounder too, and had to wear a "husky" size.

Julie said...

I am thankful for sisters. And not just the biological sis I have. I am grateful for all the sisters I have acquired through blogland. You are one of them, elastic. Thanks for all the laughs.

jams o donnell said...

There you have it ewbl. I like the blogosphere because it is a great way to bring people together of different beliefs/political orientations etc.

I find it a much more pleasurable experience than chat rooms, although my main chat room experience was in Further Left which had its fair share of lunatics and and at least one psychopath.

But I digress. I have been blogging for almost eight months and I have really enjoyed it, especially for the people (particularly you) who visit regularly and coment. And then I come here and it feels like a happy litle community. Long may that continue

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Stop that Julie, do you want the other bloggers to see me weeping like a 3 year old girl? I love the connections made here too, and you were one of the first blogs I ever read when I figured out what a blog was way back in 2005.

jams- A happy little community without the communicable diseases! Hooray! You are so right, of course, jams. I'm henceforth using your rationale to justify too much time spent on the computer.

Julie said...

You know you can short out your keyboard by crying on it, don't you? Just think of a really nasty sbd and your tears will abate.

jams o donnell said...

I am glad to give you your get out of jail free card!

No Cool Story said...

The birth of the Blog, I always thought it was during the 2004 Presidential elections that blogs started, with a little bit of research, it of course turned out to be way earlier, after the 2001 Sept 11 attacks.

I'd again like to extend a special “Thank You” to Al Gore, for making it possible for me to read Elastic’s Blog. This Mexican thanks you Mr. Gore, for inventing Teh Internets.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

NCS- You do know that I'm buying you "An Inconvenient Truth" for Christmas, right? My only hope is that Al Gore gets jiggy with it on the movie soundtrack, and maybe shows us a little skin. Oooh La La!

omar said...

Sorry, I would have commented sooner, but I've been on a whirlwind talk show tour after the word got out that I'm a genius.

Happy belated Thanksgiving to you and yours!

Oh and hey, how much do you want for that van?