That's because all my hard work and effort slinging newspapers 365 days a year is finally rewarded. Yes, tis the season to be tipping. Fa La La La La La La La La! You can keep your gay apparel, just show me the money.
In Spanish speaking countries they celebrate something known as "The Thirteenth Month" where by law, yes, by law, those in servitude must be paid a month's wages as a Christmas bonus by their employers. Well, in the glorious capitalistic society that is America we operate a bit differently. We extend our open hands while earnestly repeating, 'GIMME GIMME!' The end result remains the same though, Christmas cashola for the peon, lower caste, white trash, Twinkie loving peoples. That would be me.
I've thrown the same route for several years in an upper crust neighborhood with some homes nearing the million dollar range. One thing I've noticed is that a spirit of gratitude earns you a bigger payout. My tips have shown a steady amount increase from the same customers over time, and I can only attribute that to the fact that I hand write a thank you note for each and every one, even if it's only 5 bucks. I feel impressed that someone would take time out of their busy life and pay postage to send something to me. I don't play favorites, but let's just say that those who tip 50 dollars on up enjoy elite gold member benefits like having their paper double wrapped and tied at the end on rainy days. I adopted the slogan iterated in the Disney flick, "Lilo And Stitch" as my own when it comes to tips. "Nobody gets left behind or forgotten!" You've only been a customer for a week? No problem. That's plenty of good service given to reward your carrier for. You were gone on vacation when I distributed the card solicitation? No problem. I carry extras in my truck just especially for you on your return. You only take the paper on Sunday? No problem. You should have lots of extra money laying around thanks to the money saving coupons in the Sunday paper. You got your paper service cut off for being a deadbeat? No problem. I still love you and won't harshly judge you like my boss does. Feel the love and send me a love offering!
This year I eschewed the standard Houston Chronicle printed cards and designed one on my own. So far, I'm on the path to a stellar, record setting tip season. I wonder if my super awesome card had something to do with it? Viva la 13th month!