Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Don't Hate Me Because I'm A Perfect 10
Bo Derek and I have a lot in common. Yes, we both share the enviable quality of having attained perfect "10" status. I tried to solidify our special connection by buying one of those hand held hair beader gizmo thingies to replicate the Bo Derek look. Ummm, something went disastrously wrong as it entangled my hair, wrapping it tightly around my throat as I struggled to dislodge this tool of the Devil and avoid beaded hair strangulation. Seriously. I very nearly didn't survive the experience, but I guess that's the price you pay when you're maintaining a perfect 10 lifestyle.
I've never shown many photographs of myself around here but now is your chance to take a glimpse into my perfect 10 kind of world.
Yes, those are my new shoes. As you can see, I didn't mislead you. I am a perfect 10, and I have the shiny sticker to prove it! And yes, the brand is White Mountain. Oh, the irony because I am indeed a massive mountain of white. Some have the mistaken notion that being a perfect 10 is all glitz and glamour but they couldn't be more wrong. When you're a perfect 10 the odds are stacked against you to find a really cute pair of shoes at the storewide clearance sale racks. When you're a perfect 10 all eyes turn to you to go and squish the giant cockroach scurrying across the floor. You know, because Mother Nature endowed you with naturally ginormous stomping arsenal. When you're a perfect 10, you go as a clown for Halloween because the dainty Cinderella costume glass slipper shattered in your hand when you tried to wedge your sweaty, behemoth foot inside of it. It seems that society has a scale for everything and I tip those scales in more ways than one.
My four daughters aspire to one day follow in my shoes and to also become perfect 10's. They literally, have some really big shoes to fill to accomplish this.