Last Friday I played the part of a Good Samaritan superhero, but without any sausage casing Lycra tights or dorky capes. Believe me, the events that unfolded were completely unintentional on my part.
Papi entrusted me with the Houston Chronicle "special delivery" papers that needed to go to some of the local schools. No problem. There's really nothing I love more than the opportunity to play Mr. McFeely's Special Delivery(really funny youtube clip) game in the pre-dawn hours of the day. So, as I turned at the corner intersection to get to the neighborhood elementary school, a modified racer Honda Civic hatchback came rumbling/hiccuping up to the stop sign. It kind of looked like this....
only the once vibrant red paint had muted to a drab rusty color and large patches of paint had given way to show the exposed car frame. The hood was missing and some overtly hideous front end damage glared back at me. As the driver also went to turn, his car crapped out. He allowed the Civic to roll backwards until it came to rest completely sideways and completely blocking my path. He tried to turn over his engine several times while I impatiently waited for him to get the frick out of my way. His efforts proved useless. Irritated, I sat there and watched this young Asian EMO guy that looked like he escaped from the above picture, get out of his car and motion to me while puffing on a cigarette. The black shirted dude flipped his shaggy hair out of his eyes and adjusted his standard edition EMO white studded belt as he sauntered over to my open truck window and asked me if I would mind if he hooked up his jumper cables to my truck in order to start his car. I reluctantly agreed, and five minutes later he went along his merry little EMO way, no doubt listening and singing happily along to his Panic!At The Disco CD.
Unfortunately, I made the mistake of relaying all of this to my Papi in a grossly unthoughtful and misguided sentence. I casually told him, "Yeah, so I had no other choice but to give a jump to this young Asian guy early Friday morning." Papi's copper colored eyes widened and his jaw fell open as he recoiled backwards sputtering in mock disbelief, "YOU WHAAAAAAATTTT?!???!?" I continued on, largely ignoring Papi's exaggerated reaction to describe what had happened and how the Asian guy was hard up and really needed me to give him a jump and how I was the only one that could meet his needs. Papi is secure in the knowledge that I'm 100 percent committed to products Made In Mexico only. Although, I did have to admit to my Papi that there were definitely sparks between Asian EMO guy and I. The dork hooked up his cables wrong the first time and gave himself a heavy dose of shock treatment. Men's hearts just seem to beat faster when they're around me. :)
8 comments:
I want Chantal Kreviazuk back :'(
You just have a wonderful effect on men... please stay 1,2000 miles away from mine ;) His hair is curly enough.
I, however, am free to visit Texas anytime.
Hopefully, he at least said thanks! Don't you feel all warm and fuzzy now??? :D
Move aside,
and let the man go through.
I just have one question for you: where you driving your green van, the one that "all the boy want"?
Just making sure it was realy you and not your sweet ride.
PS Like my hat?
I probably would have just driven off, but not before I shouted at the Asian to get a new battery for his less than aesthetically pleasing car.
mimo- Infidels cannot live on Chantal Kreviazuk music alone. I have a wide mix of music tastes and I'm secretly disappointed that you didn't enjoy Soul Coughing. That song did make the X-Files soundtrack, by the way. 98 out of 100 conspiracy theorists gave it a thumbs up. I hope you find yourself chicken necking and swaying in your computer chair to the Matt Nathanson track I put up. He's a flaming liberal, but I love him anyway.
suzanne- I always feel warm and fuzzy. I'm descended from the Missing Link, for goodness sakes. I would go in to the salon to have it waxed off, but I'm afraid it would bankrupt me.
NCS- I knew that you would embrace my love of Soul Coughing! Nope. I was rollin..... in my Crapper Cruiser 5.0 with the windows down so my hair could blow. :0 How many innocent kitties must die for Super Happy Girls fashion statements? Secretly, I'd like a hat made out of Hello Kitty fur.
burg- I was already compromised by turning and getting stuck there waiting for him to move his car. Are you saying that you wouldn't jump a stranger in the middle of the street if you had the opportunity? What kind of a person are you???!!??
There were many times while I was delivering papers that I had to rely on the kindness of strangers. Believe me it's no fun having to knock on some strangers door at 4:00 in the morning and ask to borrow their phone. This is before cell phones well ok before I could afford a cell phone.To me you're a true Super Hero.
Good grief.. How hard is it to get the leads the wrong way round? I daresay the electrical current will be a reminder of the right way round!
carronin- I may be. I wonder when I'll get my own super hero figurine? "The Amazing Paper Girl!" Able to break all your new flowers with one toss!
jams- He may have been recovering from some bad sushi.
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