Thursday, February 01, 2007

I'm Eternally Grateful That The Sticker Wasn't The Scratch N Sniff Kind!

Since me and my family, are like, so totally super classy, would you really expect anything less from our neighbors? I mean, quite honestly I love man boobs and farts too, but I never thought to slap a sticker declaring my love across the back of my car. Maybe that's just me, though.

25 comments:

Syar said...

What haBOOBery.

Carrotjello said...

For a minute, I thought that might be your husbands car. Your neighbor isn't a voyeur is he??

No Cool Story said...

I can see the loving "boobs" part (I don’t like birds in general, but whatever), but the "farts" part?.
No, I say there's something very wrong with that person.

Elizabeth-W said...

I can't stand it!! Why are people so stinkin' tacky?
Yesterday I went shopping and there was a guy wearing a shirt that said something so crass I won't dirty your blog with it--I'll just say that it prominently featured a nickname for Richard. I was mortified. I was glad that I didn't have my six year old with me because she wouldn't have asked me what it all meant. I just wanted to slap him. And, I could have excused him if he were 20 ys old, but he was at least 30.

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

"Why does that car have a bumper sticker that says 'boobs and farts' on it, Mommy?"

What is, What question do you hope your child never asks?

Elizabeth-W said...

Oh, duh! I meant she WOULD have asked me to explain it all--sorry. Just thinking about trying to explain it made me type all crazy-like!

jams o donnell said...

Hmm the bumper sticker has one and only one meaning and that is "I am male". With few exceptions we are a primitive lot. ON the other hand what I may say in jest to the not wife would never be put on a bumper sticker!

White Man Retarded said...

Ha! It goes back to someone's blog about how in Texas there are tow-jacks shaped like a scrotum! Trucks with balls...The world has embraced stupidity...

wendela said...

Ay.

Yi.

Yi.
(That's all.)

forecast calls for rain said...

That's great they're your neighbors because I'm sure your real estate value just skyrocketed when that sticker made its debut. You're so lucky!

Radioactive Jam said...

"I will neither confirm nor deny any awareness of or culpability for the party or parties responsible for applying a 'BOOBS AND FARTS' bumper sticker to my neighbor's vehicle."

Might as well get used to saying it.

Sketchy said...

Oi Vey. I'm hoping this is the teenage son's car, ie: there's a chance this is just a passing fancy (or a fancy pass to quote Fred Astaire).

Melody said...

That Jams - he's got it.

Can't say that I love boobs and farts, can't say I understand having a bumper sticker like that, but who doesn't love saying (or typing) Boobs and Farts?

No Cool Story said...

I think that guy invented this .
That's my guess.

White Man Retarded said...

I must admit I like...boobs...I've approached this from many ways. First of all, the breasts provide sustenance for the first few months to years of life. Then there is the psychosocial aspect of the act of breastfeeding. There is that bond which comes from nowhere else between the mother and child through breastfeeding. Having only breastfed for two weeks, that bond may have not been established between my mom and I. I have an oral fetish. Ask my wife! So, therefore, I like boobs! Ha!

White Man Retarded said...

Oh yeah, judging by the growing number of (breast)-bars and pornographers, the whole world has issues with their mothers! Ha!

A Payne said...

I HATE the sticker that is a silouette of a curvy woman with horns and a tail like a devil. It is often coupled with the sticker Calvin wizzing on something.

The guy who has that sticker has a totally warped view of women and I stay away, far far away from people like that!

elasticwaistbandlady said...

syar-Indeed. The most supreme act of haBOOBery on record.

carrot- My Papi does in fact drive a nuclear powered, turbo Ford Focus, but no, this one isn't his. Papi's car has a sticker that says, "My Wife Is Perfect."

NCS-So, you like boobies, do you, NCS? Check out these little beauties!

elizabeth- My mom and I were behind a dork with a Bob Marley sticker and another one proclaiming that if you want safe sex you should F yourself. Free speech gone buck wild!!! :(

millie- I'd tell my kids that "Boobs" and "Farts" are sweet terms of endearment that he bestowed on his beloved pet chinchillas.

elizabeth- Sometimes we really do say it best when we say nothing at all. When they're 6, you can still happily ignore some questions that aren't pertinent.

jams- I'm imagining a line of exclusive Jams bumper stickers right now. To be sold at only the finest and most select adult novelty stores, of course.

white man- That would be our resident Pottymouth Mom, Julie. I saw one at the elementary school I passed the other day with a woman getting her baby out of a car seat. WTF??!!!? Maybe she's a radical feminist that wants to show she can be a mommy and still have balls too?

wendela- Boobs and Farts bumper stickers are surely one of the signs of the apocalypse. Is it not?

forecast for rain- Rainie, I got me a plan to increase the value of my home. It involves beer can pull tab curtains for my front window, a toilet planter for my front yard, and a set of plastic pink flamingo garden stakes.

RAJ- I'm more refined than that. I'm deeply hurt that you consider me to be so barbaric. My sticker says, "I LOVE Breasts And Flatulence."

sketchy- They're not my next door neighbors, so I'm not sure who drives the fart car. Most of the time its sitting in the middle of the street blocking traffic. The front license plate is missing and is replaced by an Indiana Jones tag. A fart in the back and an old fart in the front.

melody- This blog is very boob and fart friendly. I just may ask my creative consultant, the fabulous Omar Phillips, to make a blog header including that statement.

NCS- I LOVE YOU MORE than BOOBS and FARTS NCS!!!!!! *kiss kiss* My next door neighbor is from El Salvador. I guess his should read, "Me Amo Pechugas Y Pedos."

white man- We do live in Houston, titty club capital of the world, you know? I feel dirty just driving down I-45 with my kids and they have all the "adult bookstores" and sleazy billboards up. The "bookworms" you find at an adult bookstore are riddled with VD. I found out this interesting tidbit from my former roommate who quite enjoyed spending time there. There's not enough barf bags in the world to convey how gross I think that is.

A Payne!- The honor roll kid stickers are annoying too. I saw one today by my house that read, "I'm From Texas. What Country Are You From?" I liked that. The other side of his bumper had one that said, "So Many Cats, So Few Recipes." I didn't enjoy that one near as much. I've heard of people getting the crap kicked out of them for having a George Bush sticker in certain areas. I choose to keep my political ideals and affection for farting off my vehicle. Much to Papi's relief.

compulsive writer said...

hahahahahahahaha!

Anonymous said...

Speaking of feminists, Heather and I went to a Lollapalooza and I had her feed me while we sat in front of the N.O.W. stand! Good times! By the way, did that lady picking up her kids at school with the scrotum truck have a mullet?

Just Me said...

I have a suggestion for the mother with the trucknutz. If she really wanted to make a statement she would invest in some fashionable scrotowear! You can get yourself some here

Just Me said...

note: My link didn't workout perfect. You have to delete the extra http:// I wanted to share just in case someone really wanted a pair of brass balls of their own!

elasticwaistbandlady said...

compulsive-Hey, what if this is a new campaign for something? Remember how we all mocked the very idea of combining peanut butter and chocolate? Perhaps boobs and farts make an irresistible combo. I hope my Papi thinks so!

patrick- This particular "pair" creeped me out because they were fleshy colored as opposed to the "balls of steel" that trucks around here usually have. Ewww. The lady had long hair. No mullet. This phenomenon is totally inexplicable. That N.O.W. scene could have only been made sweeter if you were wearing an Abortion Is Murder T-shirt, and had Heather in an apron, gingham frock, plaster hair, and heels, and the requisite string of pearls while being subservient to your whim. Well, I mean subservience appropriate for a public display. Nothing kinky.

just me- If you don't buy and show your American Brass Balls, then the terrorists win and you're an unpatriotic boob. LOL! I might get me a "pair." I'll be cautious when I "grab" them though.

Mo said...

Wow. That's some sticker. I'm more of a fan of the "Nosey little f&*ker aren't ya?".

Also, I'm totally with you about the truck-testicles and "balls of steel". Funny enough I saw a HUGE truck with the blue balls hanging off of it last Thursday. I can't believe someone would actually put that on their vehicle.

jedimacfan said...

Only one of these is a pleasant thing to have in your mouth, though. I'll let you decide to which I am referring.

(I tried to post this once before, but it apparently got eaten.)