Saturday, February 03, 2007

Excellence In Blogcasting

I'm honored to announce that The Smiling Infidel has indeed been nominated for not one but TWO Share The Love Blog Awards! I knew about the first nomination in the category of "Best Humor," but I found out yesterday that I also received one for "Most Thought Provoking." I don't know who considered my irreverent writing for that prize, but it's amusing, is it not? I guess twisting the words to beloved musicals, shamelessly whoring favorite taco restaurants, and propagating a love of flatulence humor is thought provoking to some. And I secretly carry around an undying love for those fine little slices of humanity. Thanks. I noticed that I didn't get a nod for "Blogger You'd Most Like To Meet." Given my notoriously gassy history, maybe that's to be expected. I'm grateful that most of my bloggy friends are in different categories than myself. So, indeed you too can "Share The Love," by voting for Hot Fruita Moms, Mental Tesserae, Mas Cowbell, What On Earth Is That Smell?, and The Smiling Infidel without a conflict of interest or divided loyalties. If they had a category for "Most Inventive Use Of Sporks," I'd so totally win. Someday I might find myself nominated in the "Superb Mocking Of Hall And Oates" division or the prestigious "Making Art Out Of A Urinal" trophy. However, I did already secure the coveted "Plucky Under Pressure" golden tweezers statuette, and the "Modern Day Eliza Doolittle" commemorative marble set award, but I continue reaching for the stars and more blogger triumph anyway.

You'll find a humble spirit amongst most of the nominees who will tell you that they don't deserve your vote, and that the honor lies in just the nomination. I'm bucking the trend. I DO want you to embrace the opportunity and freedom that comes from taking a stand and making your voice heard. Should we let the blogosphere domestic divas win? NO! Living a perfect little life is rewarding enough. Why should they get more lump free gravy? Should the whineaholics who use their blogs as an outlet for their energy vampire tendencies get an award? NO! Let them suck someone else dry. Instead, cast your vote for chicken dancing, cheekiness, and the Infidel way! God Bless America!

A VOTE FOR INFIDEL IS A VOTE FOR THE BENEFIT OF YOUR CHILDREN. (You do love your children. Don't you?) VOTE HERE Voting concludes February 6.

I'd like to express appreciation to Lianne over at Excessively Diverted for this stunning award. See that book that the lovely female statuette is holding in her silver armpit? That's her very own copy of a favorite from my personal home library, "Walter The Farting Dog." There's no popularity contest involved to earn a pat on the back from Lianne. Nope, I didn't have to dance the flamenco while jumping through a flaming hula hoop as I balanced a hirsute midget on my nose to get it either. The presenting of this awesome trophy also didn't involve turning over my firstborn child or signing away my soul. Thanks Lianne!


Chris said...

I voted for you and only you.

Now, where's my cookie?

elasticwaistbandlady said...

CHRIS!- I knew I could count on you. I'll give you your choice of cookie. You can have this one who used to lead Bozo The Clown's Grand Prize Parade on TV for 30 years. Or you can have this cute little Cookie. Word to the wise though about clown makeup and the incriminating evidence it leaves behind. Don't want to get your hand caught in the cookie jar, Chris!

jams o donnell said...

All these awards ewbl! I am not now worthy to commment on the Smiling Infidel! Permission to speak ma'am!

carronin said...

Congratulation! You got my vote in both categories. If you were nominated for "Blogger you'd most like to meet" I would've voted for you too. There is always next year.

Julie Q. said...

Dang. Now I wish I had gone with the whole "vote for me because I deserve it" approach rather than the false modesty one. But I meant it when I said that you deserved the Best Humor award. And I hadn't even read the one about the portable urinal yet when I said that. Now I really mean it.

Demosthenes said...

For a second there, I thought you wrote something about making out in urinals. Good thing I re-read it.

No Cool Story said...

YAY! Congrats my dearest Infidel!you Multi-award winner and nominee you
I voted for you. I voted even before I read that "The hardest thing she ever had to face, was telling Roger about having HERPES".
It is my firm belief that anyone (anyone at all) who reads that , would have no doubt about voting for you. They’ll know that voting for the Smiling Infidel IS indeed a vote for Excellency in Blogcasting.

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...


Thanks for the mention. How much longer does this voting ordeal last? I can't handle the suspense.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

jams- I'm extending a platinum V.I.P Big Cheese blog membership to you. This will allow you to bypass the velvet ropes and bouncer named Brutus that I'm having installed here to keep out the "riff-raff."

carronin- You voted for little old me? Awwwwwwww, shucks. Thanks!

julie- I was surprised when you nominated me, and I don't know yet who put in the other nomination but it cracked me up to think of myself as "Thought Provoking." By the way, I like to be contrary. If everyone had gushed on about how they deserve the award more than anyone, I would have taken the humble approach. It just seemed like fun to let a little inner brat shine through. Truly I am humbled to think that at least two people enjoy my writing.

dem- And that would be a problem, because? Personally I find love next to a bidet more romantic than urinal makeouts. But that's just me and my quirkiness.

NCS!- The herpes one is my all time favorite! I often ponder whatever happened between Roger and his crotch rot woman. Did they find love and happiness down at the VD Clinic? Do they have a matching set of his/hers Herpes sores now? It's so romantic and intriguing. Sadly, my mom didn't feel the same, and so at that moment I stopped telling her when I blog something funny that involves her in any way, shape, or form. Besides, I figure my tattletale Uncle will play intrepid reporter and blab things to her anyway. It used to be that men were men and not crybabies that liked to stir the already dysfunctional family pot. I only want pots of chili stirred, and maybe chocolate fondue pots.

millie- You were nominated in nearly every category. This could very well be your year to sweep the awards. Better pick up a slinky gown to match your flip flops and start working on an acceptance speech, woman! Weird Al would be so proud to know that his biggest fan has reached such a pinnacle so early in her career. :)

Kimberly said...

Oi! If only I'd discovered your blog before I voted! (I voted for Julie) You is one funny lady.

Thanks for the chuckle.

Kimberly said...

Oi! If only I'd discovered your blog before I voted! (I voted for Julie) You is one funny lady.

Thanks for the chuckle.

Kimberly said...

Oi! If only I'd discovered your blog before I voted! (I voted for Julie) You is one funny lady.

Thanks for the chuckle.

No Cool Story said...

"crotch rot woman"

Oh no you didn't.

wendela said...

Wow, you are becoming quite famous. Don't forget us little people/bloggers as you climb up the ladder of blog fame! And, yeah, I agree you should have been nominated for "blogger you'd most like to meet". I would've voted for you on that one, too. Congrats on your "excessively diverted" award. I was wondering what book the statue held- now I know.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

kimberly- You pad this blog better than a box of Kleenex ever could. Thanks! Jullie is a worthy opponent, to be sure. She deserves every vote she gets and then some. I'm funny on a primitive, base level. Julie is like Mensa styled intelligent funny. I didn't know anything about these awards last week, and then out of the blue Julie nominated little old me. For that, I'm humbled. Not enough to eat humble pie, though. I prefer lemon cream.

NCS- What are you saying, NCS? You don't think that love and happiness can be found down at the VD Clinic? Are you showing a prejudice against crotch rotted people? I think the ACLU has them protected under a new statute, you know. Careful, or we'll both be charged with hate crimes.

wendela-Everyone should have a copy of Walter The Farting Dog in their home library. It's a modern day classic for the ages. I'm really small fish in a big field of competitors for this blog award. However, I won't shy away from shamelessly publicizing and begging for votes.

omar said...

You happened to catch me at a time when I was mad at my kid, so I voted for someone else.

Ha, I kid.

Suzanne said...

Congrats on your nominations!!! I voted and it was fun! :)

jams o donnell said...

Aww ewbl I am honoured!