Sunday, February 18, 2007

Let's Get Stoned!

Notice the new bloggy feel good song of the day I put up? Yep, that's none other than Michael Jackson's classic, " Rock With You." During one of the many Jackson debacles this past year, my perpetually confused son, Buster, heard me say that Mr. Michael had made some anti-Semitic statements to go along with his litany of crimes against humanity in the name of "loving the children." I then had to explain what it meant for one to harbor and express anti-Semitic sentiments, to which an astonished Buster turned to me and said, "Michael Jackson said something bad about Jews???? But he sings that nice song about them." Now, it was my turn to play confused as I asked him what song he was referring to. Impatiently, Buster replied, "You know, that song, 'I Wanna Rock With Jews.' Michael Jackson must think they're pretty awesome if he wants to rock with them all night." We've sung that song as an ode to Judaism ever since.

However, actual rocking with Jews as described back in Biblical times probably entailed a vengeful crowd, a commandment breaker, and a buttload of stones. I prefer Michael Jackson's softer, gentler version.


No Cool Story said...

My brain......................

Yesterday the scouts were out, doing scout stuff (my husband is the fearless leader) they were talking about music somehow they got talking about a sketch on MadTV (which we don’t watch but apparently 15 year olds do) where the young and black MJ was talking with the current white female MJ.

To which my son (clueless like yours) exclaimed: "WAIT! MJ is black???!"

White Man Retarded said...

Um, MJ's brother converted to ... and now lives in the Middle East...Hey, did you know Buckwheat from the little rascals converted to ... ? He changed his name to Kareem al-Wheat!!! hahahhahahahahhahahha...

wendela said...

Buster's priceless. :)

Carrotjello said...

Not too long ago, I found a PeeChee of mine from junior high. It said "I love Michael Jackson" on it, and my kids wondered why I wrote that on there. It was his love of the Jews. Your son is cutE!

omar said...

Ha! That's fantastic.

When you feel that heat
And we're gonna ride the boogie
Share that beat of love

I wanna rock with Jews (all night)
Dance you into day (sunlight)

elasticwaistbandlady said...

NCS- Well the good news is that MJ is no longer any competition for you in your pursuit of winning the coveted "Person Of Color" achievement award.

patrick- Converted to what? The chanting cult of Bubbles Monkey Love?

wendela- Speaking as his mom that has to feed his mammoth appetite and humor his love of all things orange and electronic gizmos, he's definitely not priceless. :)

carrot- Well, I actually went to school with Michael Jackson. No kidding. The skinny white boy I remember was no Thriller or Pretty Young Thing. I had to tell him to take his dorky self and Beat It pretty often. I guess that's just Human Nature.

omar- Listen to MJ on some of the chorus, he occasionally sounds like he's saying "I wanna rock with CHEW." Maybe he loves Jews and Chewbacca from Star Wars. Maybe MJ just wants to host a giant party complete with Kosher friendly fare and rock all night with giant non-verbal(that's the way MJ likes them) furry creatures and Jewish guests of honor. Maybe Chewbacca is Jewish and can Moonwalk while grabbing his crotch and wearing a sparkly white glove too.

A Payne said...

Thanks to Michael Jackson, I quit sucking my thumb. It was a dirty little habit that I finally let go of when my mom promised to get me a Thriller album if I stopped. That is messed up in so many ways.

Suzanne said...

LOL!!! I wonder how long your son would have thought the lyrics were that way if that particular conversation hadn't come up? :D

jams o donnell said...

LOL Now that was a sweet thought on Buster's parrt!

Stoning? I can't help think of the stoning scene in Lie of Brian.. don't ever say that piece of Halibyt you had for your tea was good enough for Jehovah.. oh and wear a beard!

Burg said...

That is hilarious! I'll always hear it that way now!

Great blog!

Kimberly said... are soooo twisted. I knew there was somethin' I liked about ya.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

A Payne- Thanks to Michael Jackson I owned a pleather jacket with zippers all over it in the 4th grade so I could look "cool" like my peers. And because my mom refused to buy me a mini skirt ala "Valley Girl" look like the more popular girls. My grandpa bought me Thriller and Vacation by The Go-Go's when I was 9 for a road trip. My gramps was the shiz!

suzanne- Well, he'd certainly make a lot of friends down at the Matzo Ball Festival.

jams- The truth is that I'd have absolutely nothing to talk about if it weren't for my kids. Well, I mean, aside from offensive no-no topics like religion, politics, and boob job or not?

burg- Thanks. I curtsy in your general direction.

kimberly- Twisted? Well, thanks to The Wiggles I can point my fingers and do the twist at the same time!

Chris said...

I think Mel Gibson would like a word with Buster.

He needs to stop drinking first though.

Slackermommy said...

Too funny, the post and the comments.

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

(sniffle) Sketchy and I had such a major crush on MJ once upon a time. And I missed the song on Sunday because I was sick abed.

Hubby and I like to throw in the word "Jews" in songs in place of anything it rhymes with, and once I did it around my sister and my mom (they not knowing about our little song thing) and man did I get a dirty look. But what the hey, I probably deserved it.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

chris- I just bet that Mel Gibson would like to rock with Jews also. Down at the quarry.

slacker mommy- I've been watching you from afar for almost two weeks now. I googled something and found your blog with none other than the farting preacher on it and tales of your son and his genius dryer sheet fart stink shield. We should join forces, you and I, and spread a love of all things flatulence the world over.

millie- Yeah, when our pitcher is running low, we always say that we're almost out of "Jews" and that we better go get some more. I was raised for several years by a Jewish stepdad. So, does that mean I can poke fun without having the wrath of Yentl fall upon my head?