I try my best everyday to show that I'm a humble spirit with a contrite heart. A mere mortal who revels with delight in the simpler things that life has to offer. However, when it comes to sandwiches, I'm a bonafide snob. You see, I find sandwiches carelessly sliced straight down the middle, boring, and not very aesthetically pleasing. No, I MUST always obey my nagging compulsion to delicately maneuver the knife diagonally when cutting a sandwich. I secretly enjoy the extreme makeover aspect of transforming ho-hum squares into perfectly delicious little triangles. Yes, I understand that a sandwich triangle isn't equilateral and takes on more of an isosceles slant, but it's still sweet sandwich shape Xanadu to me. Aight? All you hyper-critical math geeks better back it up. Hear me??!!??
Now, let's just say that you were to offer me a sandwich that you lazily chopped in half with nary a fleeting moment of consideration to my sandwich cutting needs. I'd still accept it and silently forgive you for your sandwich slicing sins. Then, I'd devour your sandwich offering with a smile of gratitude, unless it's egg salad or liverwurst on rye, but I'd secretly loathe the bland rectangular shape of it. You see, a sandwich is a sandwich is a sandwich. I don't care if you hack it up into little pieces like the Texas Chainsaw Sandwich Massacre, I'd still eat it. But, given a choice, dainty sandwich triangles reign supreme. It's my very own personal Sandwich Bermuda Triangle where the sandwiches enter and always disappear, never to be heard from again. If I'm lucky. *Burp, Belch, Hiccup*
Hear the song that's playing? It's "Particle Man" by the venerable goofball group that wields a mean accordion, They Might Be Giants. Why did I choose it? Well, Particle Man hates Triangle Man and foolishly enough, tries to take him on. Particle Man loses. Triangle Man emerges victorious. Yeeeeeesssss!