Sunday, April 22, 2007

The Infidels Go To The Big Top!.......No, I'm Not Talking About My Blouse.

We finally got to experience the awesome Cirque Du Soleil on Friday, live, and in person. I know. As though daily life in the Infidel house isn't a frenetic three ring circus in itself. Our circus quest began two weeks ago while visiting our second home......Kroger's Grocery Store. The mini-Infidels and I went through our weekly ritual of congregating around the rack of tantalizing day old bakery goods. As we stood there, shamelessly squeezing and fondling the discount loafs, we spied two of the most adorable and perfectly tiny people standing in front of the butter case. Later we found out through the magic of youtube, that the couple was none other than Gregory and Valentina, the teeny stars of Cirque Du Soleil's production of Corteo!

In this video, Gregory attempts to tame some wild beasts of burden prancing cavalierly across the stage while Valentina stands side stage with the drummer clown. And in this clip, Valentina bounces and soars across the circus audience with the aid of giant helium balloons. The audience participates, keeping her afloat like a human beach ball. Very cool. Especially her sweet little voice that sounds like she shared a French kiss with the helium tank right before the show. Truthfully, it would require the efforts of a blimp or a zeppelin to attempt to lift this corpulent Infidel butt up in the air. And the audience would probably let me plummet to the ground because they wouldn't want to touch my feet to buoy my fat butt back up again.

Then we discovered that the recently built luxury apartments a few streets away from our house, holds the honor of providing temporary residence for the Cirque performers during their month long stay in Houston. The charter buses sit outside to shuttle them back and forth to practices and performances. We're the nerdiest of the nerdiest. I say this because every time we pass by the bus, we wave ecstatically and blow kisses to the Cirque people. Secretly, I have a fervent hope that their troupe desperately needs the talents of a bearded woman who can bite her own toenails, and they'll offer me a spot on the Cirque team.
Assuming that we could never possibly afford the exorbitant costs of Cirque Du Soleil tickets, we stopped by their amazingly vibrant and behemoth yellow and blue swirled tents for some pictures last week. I wanted the kids to at least get a close up look at the phenomena that prior to now, we'd only witnessed courtesy of DVD's checked out from the library. Look at their disappointed and pitiful little faces. If only I had a tin cup and a sign for them to hold that states, "Will Look Really Sad For Tickets," they might have scored a few on their own volition.
And Mom and Grandma pulled the ultimate in sneakiness by surprising the entire Infidel clan with tickets of our very own to attend the show! I freakin choked on my own spit when I got those tickets in my hot little hands, people. I stood on tippy-toes, during a blustery, windy day, in the bed of my truck, just to snap this picture. The security guards shook their heads at me in disgust. Life as a Cirque groupie is so hard sometimes....... The dizzying swirls and dramatic spires made me think that this is what Russia could potentially look like if they ever got a sense of humor.
Yes, and here's the Infidel peeps just chillin tent side and waiting for the show to begin! The Corteo theme centers around a clown's journey to Heaven and all the adventures and memories that swell up on the way. When compared to other glitzy and borderline garish Cirque Du Soleil productions, Corteo retains a very refined and understated quality. There's more flying angels in fabulous dresses than you could shake a pitchfork at. Grown men immerse themselves inside gigantic Cyr wheels, where they rotate like spinning tops. I called 'Heads.' Sunbum called 'Tails.' The performers kept their balance, and didn't topple over. Not even once. And the show included an impromptu rubber chicken rain storm. Yes. Now, that's what I envision my own Heavenly ascension(hopefully) to look like. An ocean of rubber chickens as far as the eye can see.

Oh, and my son, Buster, loved the show despite the noticeable lack of people dancing on crotches.


No Cool Story said...

Dancing on crotches is just one of the fabulous things the performers at Cirque Du Soleil can do!
I didn't read that correctly, I thought it said "Cry Wheel". I'm just glad no one cried.
Look at all the little Infidels and Papi...¡¡¡Hola!!!

Burg said...

The littlest infidel is terribly cute with her bows in her hair... How great that you all got to do that!

Toni said...

I love Cirque Du Soleil! I am so jealous! I only get to see them on tv!

I love the pictures!

BarnGoddess said...

oh wow! y'all are so lucky!!

your family is very beautiful, your kids look so HAPPY :)

Im glad you had a super time, this was a very very entertaining read, thnx! said...

I know it is very very wrong but I have a slight fear of 'little people.' I know it is comepletely irrational but I can't help it. I am also scared of clowns, I do however, want to see Cirque Du Soleil. Sounds like a grand time was had by all.

Lyle said...

Glad someone had a positive circus experience.

jams o donnell said...

Ewbl, you can vite your toenails too? Well why do we not join forces? We could make a killing as synchronised toenail biting IS the entertainment of the future!

Annie said...

Is the littlest Infidelita wearing Chicken Noodle?

Slackermommy said...

I have always wanted to see that. Even more now! I love seeing photos of blogger's kids. You've got a nice looking family.

compulsive writer said...

Oh lucky you!

(Will look really sad for tickets. Hahahahaha.)

elasticwaistbandlady said...

I did something so shameful this morning. I saw one of the Cirque guys out jogging in my hood and I stopped and asked if I could take his picture! In a thick French accent, he laughed, and told me that he's only a technician for the show. I thought he was one of the Cyr wheel guys. In my defense, the technician did say that everybody tells him that he looks like the Cyr wheel performer. So, that makes it less creepy that I hassled him in the middle of his exercising.

I still felt like I just upgraded myself from Cirque Du Soleil fan to weird Cirque stalker.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

NCS- There weren't any scary clowns in this show, NCS. You would have liked it immensely. Almost all the music and some of the dialogue was in Italian, and my Papi translated for me in my ear.

burg- She cleans up nice. She usually has glue, mud, food stains, paper bits, dog hair, and all the other stuff from wrecking my house on her.

Toni- They're going to Ohio next. Wanna go Cirque stalking with me?

barn goddess- Yes, my chillens turned out a good picture complete with smiles, for a change. And I didn't even have to use their stunt doubles.

on the run- Corteo didn't have the scary clowns that other Cirque performances feature. There's something else we have in common........a touch of coulrophobia. Maybe elizabeth w. will give us a discounted fee if we go in for treatment together.

lyle- 3 years ago, a Bulgarian trapezist fell to her death during the Barnum & Bailey performance in Houston. I don't like Barnum and Bailey because they use animals and they don't provide safety harnesses or netting for all their dangerous acts. Cirque had nettings and harnesses in place for all their performers, making it more fun for me to watch.

jams- We can never be a duo act, jams. You see, I can also pick my nose with my nose which will commandeer me a lot more money, and more fans. You'll get jealous. We'll have a big fight. And go our separate ways. And the act will be kaput.

annie- Papi has a thing about buying 'Made In The U.S.A' merchandise. Sadly, it doesn't come cheaply. I only buy Chicken Noodle when I score it on ebay. Melody has three Chicken Noodle kitty cat dresses, but this one is her favorite. Here's a close-up of the dress and Melody's toilet paper roll eyes.

slacker- Thanks slackermom! The tickets are expensive, but all my kids loved it. Even the cheap seats are fabulous because you're in a tent and they only seat 2,000 max. at every performance. That means you're always pretty close to the stage and you don't miss any of the action. They have the orchestra pit broken into four sections circling the stage. We sat behind one of them. On DVD, you don't realize how small and how close the stage actually is to the audience.

compulsive- They make a really good mournfully sad face, compulsive. If you saw it up close, you'd definitely shell out 30 bucks a ticket to take them. said...

I also have a strong aversion to people dressed up in costumes that have masks, like Chuck E Cheese or the Chickfil-A cow.... I just don't like that they could be doing anything in that costume and we have no idea.... did you ever see that episode of CSI with the people who went to conventions for costumed folk, creepy.

Sketchy said...

"I freakin choked on my own spit when I got those tickets in my hot little hands, people."

I had to clean spewed diet Pepsi off my computer screen after reading that. And for that I thank you.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

on the run- Yeah, but how do you feel about creepy little Oompa-Loompas? As much as I love chocolate rivers and lickable wallpaper, I wouldn't go to that factory because little orange men terrify me.

sketchy- When I get excited, I get a lot of excess saliva. When I get mad, I get a lot of excess saliva. When I get happy, I get a lot of excess saliva. When I get nervous, I get a lot of excess saliva.
Sometimes, 'Spit Happens!'

Millie said...

There's a medical term for "too much spit" ... ptyalism? Which sounds like spitting if you say it incorrectly.

I'm so happy to hear that after all those days of watching that Cirque du Soleil bus and meeting the little people at the store, you were able to go! How fun!

The "dancing on crotches" brought back a certain ballet scene from Top Secret!. Bet you can't guess which scene it was. said...

yes oompa loompas are totally scary... they seem really happy about the tragic ends to the contestants. I dread to think what song they would come up with to celebrate my demise! I was also scared of the fizzy lifting drink but I still wanted to drink it, actually I think I wasn't scared of the drink, just the fan that they were about to get crushed in. Also scary, did you ever see the Return to Oz movie with those crazy Wheelers, they scared me... my brother was scared of Dot and the Kangaroo, I don't know if you ever saw that. We use to watch every TV special going when we were kids, I might have to write a blog about it.

meg said...

Oooo- that sound too cool (not the excess spit part- the flying around on balls thing) I'm seriouls jealous :P

emma jo said...

You are always such a pleasure to read...what talent!! I felt like I was right there with you and what an amazing fun thing for your fam!!...the darndest things happen at Kroger.