Sunday, April 15, 2007

Love Is A Many Splendored Thing

I have a startling confession to make......
I've developed an insatiable crush on an animated french fry container.

It wasn't always this way. In days gone by, discovering wiry strands of goatee hair or a pair of eyeballs peering out at me from the cardboard folds of a greasy french fry box, would have sent me into nauseated fits of hysteria. But, no more.

The Infidel family remains ensconced in a time of prehistoric TV that passed the world by, eons ago. We only count one small archaic set among our earthly possessions. No cable. No satellite. No TIVO. No plasma. Not even a fancy remote control. Nothing. However, once I saw the Aqua Teen Hunger Force clips on youtube, I knew that my fetish and interest for all things weird, was piqued. The episode that hooked me involved Frylock drawing a 'treasure map' for Master Shake to dig holes where 'X' marked the spot. Secretly, all the X's marked where Frylock wanted his new azalea bushes planted. Such a clever ploy. Such a devilishly handsome and witty character.

So, yes, I like a talking, floating, limbless, apocalyptic french fry warrior. And he doesn't even have to supersize, or dab on any of that fancy catsup stuff for me, because I love Frylock just the way he is. I fantasize about him suavely whispering in my ear, "Oh yeah, baby, who's yo FRY DADDY, now?" I wonder if I could get Papi to wear a Frylock costume in the boudoir? Hmmmmmmm.


BarnGoddess said...

no cable TV or satellite?

omg, my family would perish....I on the other hand do not need TV.

can I come live at your house?

Im a clean freak, thats a plus right?

jams o donnell said...

MO REMOTE?????? A man is incomplete without the means to irritate the love of his life by flicking through channels every five seconds!

Does Frylock like getting dipped in mayo? Yum!

Toni said...

did I read that right? No tv, cable? What in the world do y'all do?talk to one another? that is crazy! could explain why you have this 'thing' going on with the frylock!

Kimberly said...

You is such a freak. I -love- that about you! Frylock however, looks like an ex-boyfriend of mine and is kinda freaking me out. I'm going to go away now.

No Cool Story said...

Elastic, we are so alike in so many different wasys, it's spoooky. I LOVE ATHF!!! But I have kept it in the closet lest people think I am a weirdo. We can be weridos together! YAY!
No cable, satellite or remote? Oh man!
My favorite episode involves the Moninites (had I lived in Boston, I'd have known they were coming in Peace!).

PS. I did see you embeded "Makes me Wonder" :) awww, you are so nice to Mexicans.

No Cool Story said...

PS2: I forgot, Carl is a sick looking dude.

PS3: My other fav epi is the o ne with the Turkey from the future. It's so weird. I luves it.

Glo said...

I totally dig your rhyme for Omar! You're awesome, lady!

Okay...I forgot what this post was about. Picture me being supportive. I'm sure I was.

Carrotjello said...

I bet he smells like rancid oil.

Dorky Dad said...

Hmmmm ... you know, that's a great idea. And I'm about to start landscaping my yard. Maybe I should try that treasure map thing with one of my idiot neighbors.

wendela said...

Yep, this stuff is addictive. I'm kinda afraid, because, as kimberly said, he sorta reminds me of an ex boyfriend, too. A scary one, at that. This is the 2nd post on 2 blogs we've thought alike. Hmmm. Anyway, I think we all should take up a collection to get you a cable or satellite subscription. Just for the ATHF, of course.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

barngoddess- Moving in with me would be a definite step down from the comforts of a barn. We live in a pig sty.

jams- No, we have a remote, but it's antiquated and only controls the TV. It's not a super fancy all in one thingie.

toni- He has a sexy, sexy voice for one thing.

NCS- ATHF ranks pretty high on my "Sinful Guilty Pleasures" list.

glo- It all stems from my love of all things Omar. This is Omar's world, baby. We just livin in it.

carrotjello- MMMMMMM, the greasier the better. Have no fear, a multi-pack of napkins is here!

dorky dad- That was the first clip I ever watched and at the time I really did have azalea bushes waiting to be planted. I'm appointing Frylock as my new life guru to guide me through any obstacles I may face on this mortal journey.

wendela-I know exactly who Frylock reminds me of. I may post that next.

Slackermommy said...

Wow and I thought I was the only one in the dark ages because I don't own TIVO or know how to work the VCR. My cell phone doesn't even take pictures for crying out loud! I also still write checks because I don't have a debit card. Really ticks off people in checkout lines. said...

I had a crush on Charlie Brown when I was a kid, I was jealous of the little red headed girl he was always talking about.