And On This Day In History, A Sunbum Was Born Unto Us

Yes, today marks the annual beer-swilling Mexi fiesta known as Cinco De Mayo. But, here at La Casa De Infidel, we instead focus in on celebrating the birth of our oldest mini-Infidel, Sunbum! Lucky Sunbum, born on 05-05-95, has the only birthdate that Papi can remember out of all his chillens. Two years ago, her birthday fell on the triple nickel, 05-05-05. Guess what her favorite number is?
On a Friday afternoon, twelve years ago today, I lay in a birthing room at Houston's historic Hermann Hospital which overlooks the Houston Zoo and Sam Houston Park. The soap opera "Bold And The Beautiful" played on the TV, and I watched it to distract myself from the powerful force that had put me into active labour only hours before.......Papi's homemade spicy quesadillas. It's hard to suffer through contractions, stomach cramps, and butt burn all at the same time. I distinctly recall feeling terrified to push when the Doctor told me to because of 'intestinal' fears. So, as my modest self struggled with having feet in metal stirrups and being the unwilling star of the 'Exposed Infidel Hoo-Hoo Show', I concentrated on the Cinco De Mayo festivities playing out directly under the birthing torture chamber. Papi ran interference from window to bed relaying all the goings on. The park was crowded with colorfully dressed people engaging in traditional Mexican folkloric dances, Maypole weaving, and some old-fashioned mariachi action. I could only hear the festivities in between my own pathetic whimpering. And then, just a few scant hours after entering the hospital, Sunbum emerged! At 7 pounds, Sunbum had the lowest birth weight of all the mini-Infidels, but she quickly gained ground, doubling her poundage within a few months.
If you ever chance to play Flag Football with Sunbum, watch your back! She's a defensive wonder and a hard throwing force to reckon with.
Sunbum isn't the fastest runner, but her stealthy kickball maneuvers showed that she could kick azz at kickball. Many a time, the ball went soaring into the ether after Sunbum kicked it, paving the way for several runs. In the off season though, Sunbum enjoys reading immensely. So much so, that she often completes a book a day. Sunbum will now enter the Young Women program at Church having fulfilled all her Faith In God requirements, and will interview for her first Temple recommend tomorrow! She's also going to Girls Camp with the Church in June. My baby is growing up. *sniff* Sunbum at Christmas. Look at that sweet face as she closely examines the new sports bra that Santa stuffed into her stocking. Isn't it ironic that people stuff bras while Santa stuffs stockings with bras?
Sunbum also holds rank as the mighty leader over the entire Infidel spork fighting ninja squad. She has trained her ninja underlings in the ancient art of spork fighting and making constipated, yet fierce, facial expressions.
Lookie here, even Mr. T is getting in on the Sunbum Birthday celebration! He pities the fool that don't wish Sunbum a Happy Birthday. Forget about lame Cinco De Mayo parties. In fact, just cross Cinco De Mayo off your calendar entirely, and replace it with something more meaningful and important..... Sunbum's Birthday!

The music selection today is one of Sunbum's favorites by Zayra Alvarez. You know, that chick who performed so sucky on Rockstar:Supernova. It turns out that when she sings her own songs in her native Spanish, instead of bastardizing classic rock music in English, she's quite good. Her CD enjoyed a creative boost from a Houston influence too. Blue October.