'The Cha-Cha Slide'.......One Of The Greatest Love Songs Of All Time!

An Ancient Infidel Proverb: "He Who Live In Small House With Many Young Grasshoppers Must Cover Mating Ritual Sounds By Playing Loud Music."

And so, that leads us to today's story. Papi and I believe in absolute discretion when it comes to matters of amore. I mean, sure, we do have six kids to symbolize our love and to show that we have, in fact, 'done it,' but you'll never find us groping each other during Sacrament meeting or flaunting inappropriately racy behaviour out in public. Occasionally, we will engage in a mutual KISS outside the confines of our home. That would be Prince's version of KISS. Papi told me that I don't have to watch 'Dynasty,' to have an attitude.

Our love is big, but alas, our house is small. Papi and I have taken to loudly playing music off computer playlists during our conjugal moments in order to disguise any mysterious sounds that would inevitably raise questions among our many mini-Infidels. While fitting, no, Donna Summer's moany, breathy, 'Love To Love You, Baby,' did not gain entrance into any of the coveted Infidel playlists.

Well, during one such occasion, I absent-mindedly clicked the play button without checking the list first. The retro sounds of 'We Are Family' filled the room, and Papi and I were good to go. A few minutes later, though, DJ Casper and his unforgettable 'Cha-Cha Slide' began barking out aerobic dance commands to a thumping beat. Do you know how disconcerting it is to try to love up your man while another man continues telling you "Slide to the left, slide to the right, now clap?" Nasty DJ Casper kept asking, "How low can you go?" And I was like, "That's none of your freakin business, DJ Casper!" It's so hard not to fall into his hypnotic spell and obey his every word. It seriously took every ounce of strength to refrain from doing the 'Charlie Brown' and the 'Cha-Cha' when DJ Casper told me to. I knew then that I had clicked our kid's songlist and that the finest in children's entertainment was providing the backdrop music for our afternoon delight.

Our listening fun didn't end with just the 'Cha-Cha Slide'......... oh no! 'Cha-Cha Slide' was promptly followed up by The Wiggles 'Hot Potato.' I mean, I regard my Papi as super hot, but not exactly a Hot Potato. A state of nakedness already brings out feelings of awkwardness and low self-esteem in me, I really didn't need Raffi calling me 'Baby Beluga' over and over again to enforce those feelings. Oh well, at least we didn't have 'The Hokey-Pokey' saved to the playlist. Putting your right arm in, and your left leg in, and then your whole self in, and shakin it all about, might have proved a very painful experience.