Monday, June 04, 2007

Picked A Peck Of Purple Perfection!

Day after day, I tell my mini-Infidels, "Stop picking at your food", "Quit picking on your brothers and sisters", "Can you please stop picking your nose?", "Don't pick at that; you'll get a scar". They rarely listen, and usually continue picking anyway. However, this weekend I harnessed their well honed picking skills as a force for good as we made our annual sojourn to a nearby blueberry farm. With much picking power comes much picking responsibility. The final picking mathematical equation looked something like this:
1 Extra Strength Deodorant Wearing Grand Poobah Infidel + 6 mini-Infidel Picking Experts+ 1 Puddle Of Perspiration+ 1 Buttload Of Nasty Crawfish Habitats That We Kept Stepping On+ 2 Dozen Mosquito And Fire Ant Bites+ 1 Hour Elapsed Infidel Time= 16 1/2 Pounds Of Luscious Blueberries!
Yeah, my picking minions have proved conclusively that picking practice makes for picking perfection. Not an idle hand could be found amongst any of the Infidels all day. These pictures provide documentation of that.

As we gazed upon our massive blueberry bounty, we could scarcely contain our picking joy. So we decided to embrace our inner migrant worker, and hit another farm to try out our luck at blackberry picking. The blackberries , just barely in season, proved an elusive but worthwhile picking venture. I told the kids to follow the wise counsel of gangster rapper Lil Jon and The Eastside Boyz, and just 'Drop It Low' because the grandest and juiciest of the berries remained hidden from plain view nestled underneath the lowest branches. Ordinarily, I'd feel too ashamed to let the public see us demonstrate our picking prowess, but here's some photos of our family blackberry picking time along with 2 of the many bags filled with, quite literally, the fruits of our labour. We scored 6 pounds of hard won blackberries in an hour which rendered me a trifle concerned when Papi reacted with unbridled enthusiasm as I recounted our wild picking success to him. I'm afraid he's going to farm us out to the migrant worker circuit because we're just that good. Takin what we're givin cause we're pickin for a livin!


And here's a little sneak preview of the Infidel 2007 Christmas Card as we continue our field test studies and research into the subject of Texas Port-A-Potties.

28 comments:

Carrotjello said...

"embrace our inner migrant worker." lol. At least you picked alongside your children. My mom used to drop us off in the strawberry fields and wouldn't pick us up until the end of the day. I swear we picked strawberries just so she could give them away to people. Berry picking brings up bad memories, can you tell?

Tori :) said...

I remember picking blackberries with my sister when I was just a young 'un. Ahhh- memories.
LOVE the Christmas card pic. LOVE IT!!! I better get one...

Elizabeth-W said...

I'mjust hoping you went early in the AM before the heat put you at risk for child endangerment :)
Blackberries are rough to pick--very thorny bushes, right? At least the ones in Oregon were...
Your infidels deserve smoothies daily--That's quite a haul of fruit for that amount of time!

Melissa said...

Yum! So, what tasty treats will you create with your purple-y goodness?
I always love picking our own fruit. I could say it's because I like the fresh flavor. Or that I'm saving the earth somehow... but that would be a total lie. Nope, it's usually a better bargain. And since I'm totally cheap, it works for me.

Toni said...

I needed a good laugh! The port-a-potty picture is priceless- your eldest girl and youngest girl do NOT look amused! I wish we had a 'you-pick-it' farm around here, but we don't! If I head south, can you loan me some pickers?

mcewen said...

Good grief so much productivity and they're still so clean! Spotless infidels.
cheers

Kimberly said...

Berry picking was a much hated chore in our family.

How much to hire you and your crew?

PJ said...

Yum blueberries. We pick strawberries over here in the state next to you.

You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends nose.

I've never heard of that band, but do like them very much. They are easy on the eyes too! Nitty Gritty is a FAV of mine, looks like their talent is genetic.

Lei said...

Where did you go picking? I live in Austin. :)

Fabulous picture by the port-o-potty. FABULOUS!

jams o donnell said...

Blueberries... (drools like Homer Simpson. What the cost of bringing the team over to pick for us in Merrie Englande?

As for the christmas card, move over Hallmark. Hello the Portapotty holoday card!

Annie said...

Adopt me. The life of a Mini Infidel looks like fun.

Berry Wanter said...

Wow, look at all the berries!!! I want some! Our blackberries won't be in season for another month.

Amber said...

We are SOOO lame here at the Crazy Clan. To think that last year's Christmas shots were taken at The North Pole. You, my friend, have us beat (sign me up on that mailing list. :-)

Carrotjello said...

BTW, I'm wondering if you made everyone touch the outhouse, or was there some sort of magnetic force pulling them towards it, and they were trying to resist?

b. said...

Awwww...your mini-infidels are MEGA-beautiful!
LOVE the outhouse photo!

Suzanne said...

How fun that you got to pick all those berries. Were everyone's hands stained purple by the end of the day? Did just as many berries go into bellies as buckets? I know that would happen with me! :)

Chris said...

Whenever I see Lil Jon's name I'll always think of the international version of Pimp My Ride. His "music" may suck tremendous rotten blueberries but his delivery is kinda funny.

See how I managed to include blueberries in my comment?

Radioactive Jam said...

When our well (And therefore water supply) quit working last week, I asked my wife about getting a port-a-potty for the front yard.

Made perfect sense to me.

To her, not so much.

Good to know you're raising your clan to be open-minded about open-air solutions.

Melissa said...

Just wanted to thank you for visitng my blog and leaving your very wise and inspired comment. I had totally forgotten that all of life's answers can be found in a "They Might Be Giants" song/video. Thank you for that gentle reminder. :)

BarnGoddess said...

EWBL-your family rocks! y'all look like so much fun. I could never, ever persuade my 13yo son to pose by a portapotty, altho hubs and wee one would defininately do it!

I wonder if there are any berry farms near me in Oklahoma, Id love to take advantage of my family's picking abilities too...

No Cool Story said...

Y'all come back to your roots now, embrace your inner migrant worker, a A+++

I love the picture (Picky+Pickers!) where Sunbum is holding little Infidel's face toward the camera, kinda like "you'll smile and you'll likle it".
Now I want me some strawberries :)

shay said...

"inner migrant worker" lol. I hate picking berries so. I. Don't. My mil (for some unknown reason) does so she takes the kids and does it. How great is that?!

Jenmomof4 said...

It's been awhile since I have commented!! You are on my Bloglines and I read you everyday!! Its been busy around here!! No excuses but wanted to drop in and say Hello!!

Amanda said...

Yummmmmmmy blueberries! What fun and what a cute bunch of berry pickin mini infidels!

Don't forget me this December!! I want an infidel family christmas card.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

I'm sorry I haven't commented here yet. Yesterday was one of the most crappiest days I've had in recent history. First, there was an intensive manhunt for an armed fugitive right in the middle of my paper route. The Police closed and barricaded 4 streets and I couldn't finish my route which led to a buttload of complaints. Sometimes people are so asinine. If they couldn't get OUT, how did they expect ME to get IN?

Then, I sent my son off to Boy Scout Camp. They called me and said he didn't have the proper paperwork and I'd have to come get him.....an hour away. I did, and while leaving a ginormous metal bracket thingie got stuck in my tire while exiting the parking lot and it popped it in less than two minutes. Then I got to wait around for help in 90 degree Houston heat with my 6 kids. Luckily, there were a lot of valiant Boy Scout leaders on hand and fairly close by to come to our rescue. Then, our dryer broke. It's dead with no spark and no pulse. So, I got to spend money we don't have to buy a new one because you can't clothesline your laundry when you live in a humid jungle-like climate. *sigh* Howard Jones was right, "Things Can Only Get Better." I'll be back after work for a little Gay Tuesday action!

Carrot, you know what made me laugh? I posted some of what I wrote last year about picking practically word for word and your comment was the exact same one from last year too. It was bloggy deja vu!

No Cool Story said...

I couldn't finish my route which led to a buttload of complaints. Some people are just idiots.

Sorry about your day Elastic, it sounds truly awful :(
Hey, the good thing is that now Karma owes you :)

Carrotjello said...

It just means I don't have too much to say. Sad.

b. said...

sheesh! you're even recycling comments? Atta girl.