Thursday, June 28, 2007

The Smiling Infidel Is Brought To You Today By The Letter 'R'

Online Dating

Yeah, that's right, the letter 'R', and it doesn't stand for Righteous, either. Oh, if the gossipping ladies at church with their very sweet and wholesome mommy blogs could see me now. Undoubtedly, they'd hyperventilate from over-exaggerated gasps while covering their mouths and tittering with nervous giggles. I can hear them blustering about, saying, "That Sister Smiling Infidel is so very, very naughty. We must blackball her forever from partaking of any sacred scrapbooking events. First her camel toe joke, and now this!"

So, how exactly did I earn an 'R for Restricted,' rating? It's all thanks to Gay Tuesday and my usage of the words 'GAY,' and 'Queer.' What? In my world, that means 'Happy,' and 'Odd, respectively.

Now, that I'm officially hardcore, I'll have to make all you Infidel reader peeps get a signed permission slip from your mommy and daddy. You have my word, that I won't rest until I get this blasphemous R rating changed............to an X!

33 comments:

Amber said...

Oh no. My daughter has been reading your blog since she was 2. Good thing I accompanied her so she's safe, right?

Radioactive Jam said...

You said "tittering." You are so busted.

I'm telling mom.

on.the.run said...

I don't get it... some one complained about your blog????? I'd say at best your pushing PG-13. Maybe I am corrupted from living with a no-mo????

emma jo said...

I won't judge you by your rating...hey wait, don't you teach nursery? "Bishop!! Bishop!!"...keep on sister friend, you are good to the core and you know it.

Kimberly said...

As if I didn't already feel dork enough - I checked mine, and I'm rated G.

Is my aspiration to be cool someday all in vain?

Chris said...

We is the same! You and I are bad S!

I think I would have been rated differently, like "Beware of Crappy Speller," if I were to write like that all the time.

Tori :) said...

I was rated PG because I said "Torture." What the crap?? I know there's worse stuff on there than that. I shall try harder so I can be bad like you. I'm shooting for NC-17.

Jean Knee said...

What? These things are rated? Who rates them and why? And how do you check and and and

PJ said...

That is as funny as you are. An R? Well keep up the corruption, we love ya.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Yeah, I went and put on some of my very hard core music. I can't let down my guard and lose my hard won 'R' status.

Suzanne said...

O.k. I guess I'm a bit slow. How do you check the rating of your blog?!?

omar said...

Hm. It said it couldn't fetch and rate my blog. So I'll just assume mine's rated PG.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Here's the deal, yo. Clickety on the ratings graphic and it'll take you to the site where you enter your blog address and get your rating and blog code. It goes by whatever's on your front page because I can go from a 'G' to an 'R' in the course of a day. But then, that's not only restricted to the blog. In real life, I can go from 'G' to 'R' in the blink of an eye.

Carrot Jello said...

I'm a good girl, I am. I'm a G.

Amanda said...

Still a goody two shoes...I'm a G. :P

Dan the Echo Boomer said...

Hey, so I just have to say I thoroughly enjoy your blog, no matter what it's rated.

Oh, btw, I also like Dave Ramsey: he's got a lot of common sense, but I do have one issue with him. he has that "snowball debt and pay off the lowest then highest" which, for almost every situation, will cost you 200-300$ more over time then paying proportionately , with the extra going to the high-interest one first.

for proof: http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/06/28/debt-snowballing-versus-the-high-interest-approach-a-real-world-comparison/


And, apparently my confirmation word, smenita, is a world famous one. google it. I thought it looked fishy.

Elizabeth-W said...

Hey! I just had smenita on B.'s blog! And it's here, too. And my blog is rated G.

Toni said...

I had to use the words penis and vagina to get my R rating. Sadly, I do aim to be restricted!

PJ said...

Old Lady!

:D

Syar said...

You're and Infidfel and you do it while smiling. What else did people expect?

If they can't take the heat, they should take that letter R and stuff it where the sun don't shine!

I feel as if I'm running with the big boys now. I have great desires to jump on a Harley, get a tattoo and spit out tobacco into a spittoon.

Oh how you corrupt me, Elastic. :-)

Dan the Echo Boomer said...

Oh, and thanks for the NYT, IBD, WSJ and various other acronyms. They're really helpful for the ride to work, and whenever I've got work downtime.

Anna Maria Junus said...

I'm still searching for the ratings graphic!

I got into trouble with adsense. I used the word gay in one of my posts and then adsense decided to post ads for gay men.

Now I use funny symbols so it looks like I'm swearing.

stefanie said...

Dang! I have to think of a way to casually mention gay camel toes on my blog. Hmmmm........ I'll probably become a ward project. :)Rock on!

jams o donnell said...

Are you going for an NC17 rating ewbl? I get the feeling that the person who created this thinks "gosh" and "good gravy" are examples of strong language!

Lauren said...

HAHAHA! You are so awesome and HARD core!!

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Lauren, Dan The Barely Legal Man, and Syar- Did all you very young, younguns, forge your permission slips? I know that your mom and dad wouldn't want your malleable minds to be corrupted by the likes of me and my hard core ways!

jams- I'm going to post something and replace my standard 'Oh Crap!' with "Gee Whiz!" and "Holy Cow!" Maybe I'll even tempt an NC17 fate by using the dreaded "NEATO!"

KB said...

R-PG, whatever your rating I enjoy your blog. You have a great sense of humor. I found you through Rhonda's BS Cafe.

Jean Knee said...

It happened again, I commented just after carrot and now its nowhere. It was a good one too, it had the word anal in it

Melissa said...

Whew - I'm over 17... at least, that's what my license says...

Suzanne said...

Thanks for the instructions, Elastic! Just like Amanda, I'm a G and still a goody goody two shoes too! ;D

Sketchy said...

Um...your blog is rated? By whom?

Although maybe it's good that you are so strongly cautioned against, now I can feel just a little rebellious.

Glo said...

I'm rather convinced I have a strange form of deafness wherein I cannot hear gossip. I read about it all the time - supposedly grew up in the hotbed of gossip. But whenever I hear people talking about someone, it's with such a true, heartfelt desire to help and worry/concern that I've never felt it qualified as gossip.

Yet I know others hear it all the time. I wonder if there's medication for my condition.

No Cool Story said...

"We must blackball her..."
Oooh, that might take you staright to X land!

Oh wait...never mind.