Wednesday, July 11, 2007

This Georgie Porgie Pudding Pie Will Never Be Accused Of Kissing The Girls And Making Them Cry!

As usual, I'm just getting a little behind on premiering this very special edition of Gay Tuesday Wednesday. That's okay, though, because there's nothing in this world that Mr. George Michael loves more than getting a little behind!

George Michael is a tragic reminder that I lack the possession of a supernatural 'Sixth Sense' gift. No, I'm not talking about seeing dead people, I'm referring to my non-existent Sixth Sense Gaydar system. I can't see dead people. I can't see gay people. I can't even see dead gay people. Liberace could be haunting my house at this very moment and I wouldn't even know it. :( Before I settled down and became the right-wing zealot I am today, I used to live with two gay guys who teased me endlessly whenever we'd play a rousing guessing game of 'Gay Or Nay?' When George Michael sashayed into our conversation, I vociferously defended his heterosexual honor only to have my roommates giggle at me and declare, "Oh Lissa, you're so innocent." How did they know? How could they see beyond the macho exterior squeezed into delicious butt-hugging jeans? Of course, they were spot on about George and kept their perfect 'Gay Or Nay?' game point average.

So, fellow Gay Warriors, as you head out on this glorious Gay Tuesday Wednesday Hump Day on your mission to reclaim all that is gay and rainbow bright back for the common masses of happy humanity, just remember these sage words from our featured musician of the day and his song, 'Monkey,' "Why do I have to share love with a monkey, a monkey....aye, aye, aye aye?" Simply prophetic.

Happy Gay Hump Day!

39 comments:

elasticwaistbandlady said...

I just wanted to let some of my blogging peeps know that I'm working on limited time and computer ability since I crashed our living room computer yesterday. Woe is me! Woe is me! I'll be around to visit y'all post haste!

Annie said...

G.M. is my all time favorite gay. I was seriously broken-hearted when he came out.

He was our Elvis! We felt like bad little girls listening to him.

Tori :) said...

I have a pretty good gadar, but I never realized GM was gay until later. Yes- he seemed gay in Wham!, but he was too sexy (NOT in this video!!). I don't know. But now he totally has that gay look in his eye.
Where did he learn those SWEEEET moves??

Elizabeth-W said...

I have a friend who is gay and he is completely offended by the idea of gaydar. He says that only applies to "the prisses"--his words. He is an engineer, can't cook, hates all the fem stuff that gets attributed to gay men. His clothes don't always match so great, and prefers to shop at Walmart. No one in the world would ever pick him in a line-up.
"He was our Elvis" LOL :)

BarnGoddess said...

sorry about your puter woes!

my gaydar is usually pretty good :)

Ive noticed that all gay men dress better than me...why is that?

I posted a recent pic of me today. I get numerous complaints because I NEVER post close up photos of myself...so I did today. AND w/out makeup scary huh?

Carrot Jello said...

Shoot, I thought I clicked on Elizabeths blog, and thought, "Wow, Elizabeth is doing gay Tuesday too?" I was worried for a minute.

Kimberly said...

I'm totally clueless about this sort of thing. But I'm getting my education here. =P

No Cool Story said...

Happy Gay Tuesday Wednesday!!

I got two words for you: Careless Whisper. So NOT gay.
Fast Forward to Freedom: Super very gay.
Oh well, live, learn, get your gaydar on.

Jean Knee said...

I guess it was a dead give away when he did that song with Elton John--you know how he got that gig.
How I'm gonna stalk you if yo puter is down?

Amber said...

WHAT? GEORGE MICHAEL: GAY?

:-)

Anonymous said...

As a gay man, I have an incredible gaydar. I am rarely wrong. How's that miss 44?

jams o donnell said...

George Michael is "good with colours"? Liberace "rode the other bus"? well I'll go to the foot of my stairs! You'll be saying next that Truman Capote didn't love the ladies!

wynne said...

My sister was broken-hearted about George Michael for the longest time.

And can you BUY gaydar anywhere? I need to know. (And what about bi-dar? Or willdoanythingatallthatsmiles
atme-dar?) I am woefully incompetent. So, tell me Those Who Have Gaydar, Ricky Martin? Gay or Nay?

b. said...

I had a suspicion, but was disappointed just the same. I wanna know about Ricky Martin too.....my gaydar says Gay.

mcewen said...

I was going to ask if you were late or whether I was too early this morning but now I've returned, the crashed computer explains all. You have my deepest sympathies for this pain in the botty. [translation = but[t]{?}]
Cheers

carronin said...

..there's nothing in this world that Mr. George Michael loves more than getting a little behind!

Holy heck Elastic I laughed so hard I think a little pee came out just like George. If Ricky is gay I don't want to know about it. Please stay in the closet Ricky.

Chris said...

I kinda like that song of him with Elton John. It has its moments. Totally gay but who isn't these days, hmm?

Toni said...

Completely off subject~ you left this comment on Tori's blog~

I got tagged too, and I got nothing outside of laying under the bed so I can grab Papi's ankles and scare him. :(

I totally expect you to do this! Don't make me drive down there!

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Sketchy said...

My gaydar is pretty good too...I usually know. But I admit GM had me fooled initially. But then again, one of my friends from college is gay and maybe I can trace the finetuning of my gaydar to that time. Elizabeth, tell your friend it isn't about obvious gay things, or attributes. It's about who they notice walk in the room and who they don't.

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

OK, what an unimaginative video that was. "Here George. Put on this pioneer boy outfit and your earring and dance around and sing about your monkey, and we'll throw in some concert video clips."

"Monkey" is one of those songs I keep thinking I must have imagined, like "Penny for your thoughts, nickel for a kiss, dime if you tell me that you love me" or "Afternoon Delight". No one really sang that idiocy, did they? Oh, they did? Darn, I was hoping it was a nightmare I could wake up from.

"Oh Lissa, you're so innocent." (snicker)

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

"Truman Capote didn't love the ladies"???? Whaaaaa???

Lily Tomlin is gay. That surprised me. I don't know why it did. It's not like you ever hear about her going out with a dude.

Melissa said...

I'm just wondering if you ever get any odd comments from people who type things into Google and land on your site ;)

PJ said...

(plugging my ears, closing my eyes) He's not gay, I have faith 'bout that. It's a promotional stunt. I told myself that YEARS ago,and am still quite OK 'bout that.


La,la,la...not listening

aubrey said...

you can buy gaydar on the internet. jim gave one to dwight in the office.

b. said...

lily tomlin? Really?

Qtpies7 said...

I was SO crushed when he came out. And also so crushed when he shaved his gorgeous head bald! I wasted way too long drooling over him. What a waste of sexy! Well, a waste to us girls.
My hubby swears Ricky is gay, but I keep fighting it, he's just so sexy!

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Okay, we're still getting out kinks here, but don't worry, I'll still remain as kinky as ever! One computer overheats and the other one is off limits to me because Papi thinks doing schoolwork on it is a higher priority than my blogging schedule.

I thought we understood each other on a deeper level than this.

Meanwhile, you can kiss George Michael buh-bye and welcome my favorite Damien Rice song, 'Cannonball.' It touches that shriveled and dried up part of me known as Ye Olde Infidel Heart.

I'll be back. Especially to talk to Dick Payne outing himself on my blog. I always knew it! I guess I can see gay people. Yay! Here at the Infidel, GAY is all about the HAPPY, though. You are HAPPY, right?

elasticwaistbandlady said...

I accept your challenge, toni!

Rhonda said...

I think GM fooled a lot of us. I remember being SOOOOO in love with him in junior high...back in his Wham! hey day. What he needed was a tattoo of a naked man riding a rocket (see my post from Tuesday) to let us all know the deal.

P.S. The rain is back! I think we need to consider starting on that ark.

Melody said...

I blew my grapejuice all over the floor (okay, I hit the wastebasket) "George ... a little behind." I could hardly contain myself. You crack me up.

Yeah, I knew George was gay. I didn't care, he's gorgeous.

On another note (late to the party) I'm quite sure the "pussy sore" thing was a freudian slip...

I'm wondering if you are SOB or if you would be willing to f/u your doctor and if I need to check out your BS.

*shortness of breath
*follow-up with
*breath sounds, bowel sounds or blood sugar - depending on the context

Melody said...

P.S. I have dedicated my latest blog to you.

Anna Maria Junus said...

I think gaydar is over rated.

Gays think all good looking men are gay because they want them.

Then when an occasional one comes out they say "see, told you!"

What about all those straight guys that get hit on by gay guys. Or all those straight guys that get accused of being gay.

By the way, I have no gaydar either.

But then, it doesn't exist.

Suzanne said...

You just gotta have Faith that George didn't have a Father Figure and that's why he can't set his Monkey free! Don't despair that your Gaydar used to be diminished to a Careless Whisper. You just gave it One More Try and didn't let the Sun Go Down on you until your Gaydar was back up and running again! :D

Anonymous said...

I am very happy! I was a little behind for years, but now I am very behind and proud.

aubrey said...

p.s. even though i do not have a link on your peep's list, my new blog address is aubreyannie.blogspot
it's ok. really.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

I'm trying to make the bloggy rounds today. You guys have the greatest comments! Clever Suzanne. Ingenious Melody. The Elvis comment rocked, Annie! Millie, the weird hand dance thingige in this video has ALWAYS bothered me! George is the only man that can rock a pair of nerd suspenders, though. Aubrey, you're making me feel guilty. :( Incontinent Carronin! And anyone else I may have missed.

I went through some BAD withdrawal symptoms (thankfully,no explosive diarrhea) without my computer the past few days and I MISSED all of you guys terribly!

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Dick Payne, when you used to ask me to check out your butt in your new sweat pants and talked about egg recipes you saw on Martha Stewart and the defended Ellen DeGeneres when I made a snarky comment.......that's when I knew for sure.

PinkPowerSuit.com said...

Literally crying tears I'm laughing so hard. Still, and I'm not even reading. I'm commenting. I'm easy at midnight, true, but this is flippin' funny.