Sunday, August 12, 2007

Don't Say It.....Spray It!

Sometimes I really question the fortitude of our youth. Do they have what it takes to make it in today's world and thrive? We all know that the key to life long success lies in completing your tasks and projects at hand, no matter how difficult.

So, I looked onto these local neighborhood STOP signs with great concern. The one on the left bears graffiti, spelling out an ode to Mr. 2 Legit 2 Quit himself, M.C. Hammer. Yes, the sign reads 'STOP! Hammertime!' The second sign, around the corner from the first, contains the uplifting message brought to the masses by Journey back in the 80's.....'Don't STOP Believing!' Wise words, indeed.

But then the signage stops abruptly, right there, without any further instructions or details leaving me, the casual passerby, to wonder what became of these fine young graffiti artists, determined to maketh their mark upon this world. Surely, two paltry signs can't contain the extent of their vast creativity. I mean, there's so much more they left unfinished. What about:
1. Don't STOP Thinking About Tomorrow- Fleetwood Mac
2. Don't STOP The Dance- Bryan Ferry
3. STOP Me If You Think That You've Heard This One Before-The Smiths
4. STOP In The Name Of Love- The Supremes
5. STOP Dragging My Heart Around- Tom Petty
6. STOP! Dimentica!-By The Italian Singer, Tiziano Ferro
7. I'll STOP The World And Melt With You- Modern English
8. STOP That Train- Bob Marley
They could even get lazy and just slap an exclamation mark onto the sign making it 'STOP!' as a homage to the smash hit by Erasure.

One day, I hope my proud graffiti artists learn about the satisfaction that comes from a job well done and they'll re-commit themselves to finishing this great work.

As a funny side note, we here at La Casa De Infidel delight in singing Journey's 'Don't Stop Believing' while we're struggling with the call of nature and looking for a suitable toilet. We sing it "Don't Stop Believing.... HOLD ON TO POOP FEELING!" Sometimes my mini-Infidels will take us by surprise and retort with a comeback tailor-made by the fine folks from REO Speedwagon. "I CAN'T FIGHT THIS FEELING ANYMORE!"

33 comments:

Methodical wormer said...

1st?

Methodical wormer said...

I guess everyone is sill at church. Sounds like the toilet to infidel ratio is a little low. Your family sounds awesome:) Growing up we couldn't have a family dinner without a poop discussion at some point during dinner.

Chris said...

Journey is one of rock's sissiest bands.

But that song you mentioned is kinda all right...

NOOOOO!

Must STOP BELIEVING!

Tori :) said...

I think your list is great. We should have a stop sign spraying slumber party. Hmmm....

omar said...

Don't forget about Peabo Bryson's "Can You Stop the Rain." Classic.

Elizabeth-W said...

Crap Happy Mama as well as the mini's will be happy to know that we had quite the discussion about poop today at church.

Slackermommy said...

Great list! I've forgotten about a lot of those.

wynne said...

EWL, I am so not avoiding you. How could I avoid such masterpieces as Mocking a Budding Graffiti Artist and Ode to Fudge? I've missed you. I'm trying to repent, to change my ways, to come online more often and get infidelic...but trying doesn't cut it, does it?

By the way, my bro was a graffiti artist once upon a time. Unlike these specimens of today's youth, he had fortitude and determination and had a contest with one of his tagging buddies about who could get their name up around town the most. My brother, by spray-painting the creative moniker "NUT" all over the city, won the contest by about $10,000 damage to the city. (Total damage was $35,000, I think.)

However, he lacked the creativity of the Stop-sign sprayer: he never did do much more than "NUT." Oh well. Can't have everything, I guess.

wynne said...

And yeah, he did get a nice cozy lil' field-trip to LA Central Men's Prison (another mistake: he got caught after he turned 18).

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

*swaying to the mellow sounds of "Sentimental Lady*

I like Olivia Newton-John's version of "Don't Stop Believin'" better so I'm going to pretend he was thinking of her and not Journey.

Your title made me spray with laughter.

jams o donnell said...

When you find the artists will you be saying Spray it again Sam?

Ach that was a weak pun!

BarnGoddess said...

REO Speedwagon, I LOVE 'em....good memories they have for me.

haha, your family sounds like a ton of fun!

Nancy Face said...

The stop sign art is funny, but really...I HATE GRAFFITI!!! There are lots of little creeps that come into my neighborhood and think they have the right to spray their gang crap all over the block fences of nice, law-abiding citizens who take care of their yards...okay, okay! I feel better now.

Sketchy said...

Dare we hope they were interupted by a police officer or two in the middle of the great work?

Actually though, I'm considering sneaking out and putting "Hammertime" on Stop sign at the end of our street...maybe I'll just print out a sticker label and slap it on there...that way its slightly less graffiti-ish right? I mean the sticker is removable...

Radioactive Jam said...

Maybe you should attach a can of spray paint to say, ten or twenty signs. Might help get things going and if so, your sense of accomplishment should help offset any negativity from civil penalties for vandalism.

Just trying to help is all.

Melissa said...

Wow - our graffiti artists aren't nearly that creative. We just get gang tags. Boring...
I love that you and your mini infidels sing about the "call of nature" :)

Kimberly said...

Wow. A grafitti artist with soul. Nice.

nikko said...

Someone actually still listens to MC Hammer? Someone young enough to want to spray it on a sign. Funny.

You and your kids crack me up. We often have dinnertime conversations about farting, boogers, Star Wars, puking, and other masculine topics. Fun stuff.

No Cool Story said...

Great, now I have the "stop...hammertime" stuck in my head :P

Stop!
Stand there where you are
Before you go too far
Before you make a fool out of love
Stop!

Suzanne said...

O.k. I think your graffiti artists must be older than teenagers if they put both of those sayings on there! I'd say someone in their late 20's or early 30's! :D

Did you get my message towards the end of your fudge post? :)

Lauren said...

I will never listen to Journey's song ever again without thinking of poop...

Lisa said...

I can't stand graffiti!! However, leave it to you, EWBL, to find the humor!!! Too funny. Great list. And I am glad NCS remembered our friends Erasure.

Elizabeth-W said...

You have more cleverness in your pinkie than I have in my entire self! I keep wondering if you'll ever run out of good material. When will I learn??

Annie said...

I respect the creativity of "the artist". At least it wasn't profanity or genitals.

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

I'm really surprised at the anti-graffiti vibe I'm getting from these comments. Tell me those stop signs were not improved by this artist.

If I had any doubts before, they are totally gone: You are my cheesy 70s music twin. Where did you find "Cool Night"????

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Oh Millie, Just let me hold you by the firelight, and if you don't feel right, you can go. You know Paul David also does 'I Go Crazy' and '65 Love Affair.' Both big time Infidel favorites. I'd add me some Dan Fogelberg too if they had 'Heart Hotels' or 'Longer' or 'Lonely In Love.' Alas, it is not meant to be.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

methodical wormer?-Do you do wormy housecalls? Are you really methodical about it? Because the last time, when I hired Harried Wormer, I wasn't very impressed. Poop discussions round the dinner table? I don't know you.....but I LOVE you!

chris- Please hold on to poop feeling....at least until you make it to the restroom. I don't want any visions of unpleasantly squishy computer chairs in Malaysia, aight?

tori- It's so hot here, kids throw slices of cheese on to the STOP signs to watch them sizzle and affix onto it permanently. That's MY kind of naughtiness....cheese throwing.

Omar- I should make a whole R&B list because I also left out Luther Vandross 'Stop To Love.'

elizabeth- Everyone has a poop story to share....and that's what makes us all bonded into the family of man!

slacker- I'm old school like that, yo!

Burg said...

Hmmm.. Around here they just spray over the word "stop." Your graffiti artists are much more creative than mine.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

And now I just hit commenter comment burnout.

I LOVE everyone's cleverness and time spent here reading my nonsense. Thank You! Should you all really be encouraging me and my weird ideas, though??!!!?

Emily said...

Thank you for a good laugh. I really, REALLY needed it.

wynne said...

Yes, EWL. Yes and yes.

carronin said...

Journey is one of rock's sissiest bands.
Chris them are fightin' words.

Amanda said...

I used to really like both those songs you mentioned...journey and REO speedwagon. Thanks for ruining them for me! ;)

At our house we prefer the cheerleader approach to potty training. Push it out, squeeze it out, waaaaaaay out! BTW our baby is finally potty trained and I am never looking back. Diaper free forever, at least until Depends are in order.