Friday, August 10, 2007

FUDGE-O-RAMA!

I love me some fudge. You may even say I'm a fudge connoisseur-sampling and casting eyes of lust towards the tantalizing candy store displays with sweet heavenly fudge stacked into neat little tiers, just ripe for the picking. My vast fudge experience has brought me into contact with many flavors and varieties, so I can say without hesitation that the fudge I found below is my least favorite kind. I shudder to think of the advertising for her.......'Phyllis Fudge! Now With More Pieces Of Real Phyllis In Ever Fudgy Bite!'
So, does Phyllis Fudge call her bicycle a FUDGEsicle? When she does her taxes and claims her new nose hair trimmer as a business expense, does the IRS agent roll his eyes and disgustedly say,"'She's always trying to FUDGE on her taxes." Does she tell her kids that Judy Blume's book, 'SuperFUDGE' was written for her? When she eats nuts, does she exclaim loudly, "New and Improved Phyllis Fudge......Now With Nuts!!!!!"? I wonder if she follows the stereotype and bakes FUDGE to give out at Christmas while people whisper amongst themselves, "There goes that FUDGE woman giving out FUDGE again." Maybe she could start her own company. 'FUDGE'S FUDGE.'

With an awesome name like that, she needs to get out of the real estate game and record a hot track to transform her into a Pop Princess. Maybe something like Fergie's 'Fergalicious' except she could call it 'FUDGEalicious.' Mmmmmm, FUDGE. Can you see it now? FUDGE Live And In Concert With Cake. Suh-weet!

43 comments:

omar said...

First!

Now I'll go read the post. This appeared while I was reading the urban dictionary bit on Gorilla Fingers.

omar said...

All I keep thinking is how fun it would be if she married the old CBS sportscaster, Billy Packer. She'd be Phyllis Fudge-Packer.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

I LOVE that you answered first and second, and you even made me laugh this morning, Omar.

I recommend you get the travel edition of the urban dictionary so your wiggedy wiggedy whack self won't be caught unawares.

BarnGoddess said...

omg, I bet she gets teased about that name all the time!

hahahahahahaha Omar, that was a good one!

Special K ~Toni said...

Not hating my last name so much this morning! I love Omar's answer!

Dan the Echo Boomer said...

I award you: most versatile uses of fudge in one post.

Suzanne said...

If she was performing with the group Cake, then I'd definitely go! :D

Elastic, I dare you to call her and ask her all those questions you presented to us! Oh wait, I guess that would be a prank call and I stopped doing those when I was 12!

How are you this clever in the morning? I feel like I've been hit by a Mack truck and I will be lucky to get the kids fed correctly! :D

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

When Phyllis gets annoyed at something, she says, "Oh, ME!"

hahahahhahhahahahhha

elasticwaistbandlady said...

After being sick for nearly a week after ebing sore from the wreck for nearly a week after having a hurt toe for nearly a week....

Oh man, my life has really sucked lately! Anyway, after all that, it's nice to post something and see some really funny comments. Thanks, guys!

Yeah, Omar stole the show by taking FUDGE to a place I hadn't thought of in many years. Way to go, OMAR! You're the star of Infidel Ladies Day, today!

Rhonda said...

Laughing really, really hard at Omar's comment. There is no topping that.

But, I do have some Mackinaw Island fudge in the fridge. I will go eat some in honor of you, Omar and Phyllis.

scienceteachermommy said...

She should spell Phyllis with an "F," just for effect.

Melissa said...

You have a way with words! I would love to come up with some other kind of fudge-ism, but I think you and Omar have it covered :)

Annie said...

I never Phyless Fudge. I Filmore Fudge.

mcewen said...

I'm not a fudge fan, but the best fudge I ever had was when I was a youngest and made it myself. I am uncertain whether it was the best because I made it myself, or whether I have a dodgy memory bank or both.
Cheers

on.the.run said...

Maybe she married to Cornelius Fudge....

Sorry, got Harry Potter on the mind, we are reading Order of the Phoenix right now.

jams o donnell said...

What a coincidence. I am reading this ost while eating some wonderful crumbly burnt sugar fudge. Honest!

No Cool Story said...

Just like on.the.run I thought of Cornelious Fudge.
Because my brain works like that.

Tori :) said...

I couldn't think of one clever thing to say. I'm so lame.
FUDGE!
Thank you for the wonderful TP roll of good mail :)

Mrs. Crybaby Jones said...

This post is so fudgin' funny. That Omar needs his mouth washed out with soap. Naughty, naughty.

Lei said...

Of course now I am jonesing for fudge. I may need to hit Rocky Mountain tonight while I am out partying.

;)

Lei said...

You what I love me? I love me some SOUXSIE AND THE BANSHEES!!! Yeah!

Melissa said...

Thanks for the good mail :) You've got some mad recycling skillz girl!
p.s. I made the font bigger on my site... :D

Carrot Jello said...

23rd! You like fudge, eh? Alrighty then. Does everyone know I talked to your mom on the phone today? That's because I've got connections. It was almost as if I was eating at the restaraunt with you guys. Next thing I know, you'll be adopting me.

Kayelyn said...

Oh FUDGE. That's what Ralphy said, right?

Very funny post. Because of you and crap happy momma- my hubs now reads blogs.:)

Thanks girls. Gets him off my back. Now he asks me to read to him. I have a better reading voice than he does. I really get into that part.

Suzanne said...

Psst! Elastic! I have a superty super secret to tell you. If you want to know, e-mail me at suzannesto@gmail.com. :D

Elizabeth-W said...

The only kind of fudge I like is the chocolate kind. I think vanilla fudge, pink fudge, etc., is just plain wrong.

aubrey said...

ha! with cake. hee hee. i'm jammin' over here to franz. whatchawaitinwhatchawaiting foooooooowwwr.

Bee said...

Thanks for that I don't think I will ever again eat another piece of fudge cuz I don't want to say 'I had fudge in my mouth!'

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

I like mascara eye goop fudge.

carronin said...

Yes #30!

carronin said...

Omar is a very naughty boy.
Did somebody say fudge?

Lauren said...

This makes me think of Cornelius Fudge in Harry Potter...I was always so hungry after reading his name.

Crap Happy Mama said...

You write a post about somebody freakin named Fudge and you get 32 comments??!!!? Whatever. I can't believe people hang out here at all. Yeah, I saw that Eddie Rabbitt song in your playlist. Really elastic? Eddie Rabbitt? You won't be scoring any Crap Happy points that way.

Crap Happy Mama said...

Oh, and I HEART Omar!

Hey Omar, know what I'm wearing? I'm wearing my sexy black and white checkered pants with embroidered lady bugs on the cuffs. Yeah baby, I'm wearing them for you. How hot are you now? Huh?

Mrs. Crybaby Jones said...

Quit panting after Omar, you washed-up old crapmonger. Omar doesn't touch people with poo fixations. Believe me, I have personal experience with this.

I do have to agree with the Eddie Rabbitt thing though. Why not Eddie Vermin or Eddie Breeds-Like-It's-Going-Out-Of-Style or Eddie and the Bunnyman?

Nancy Face said...

Hahahahaha! I loved all your fudge-y goodness! I love fudge too, especially with nuts and MOST especially if it's VANILLA! So there! I don't care if I'm all alone in this!

Sketchy said...

Is it bad that I thought, "And after the sex change operation, Phil Fudge, now with nuts."

Just asking.

PS: you should click on my avatar picture.

compulsive writer said...

Millie's funny.

I kept wondering if her husband's name is Cornelious.

Lisa said...

Fudge-YUM!

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

No, it's Vanilla Pecan. He gets teased a lot so don't make fun of his name.

Dan said...

Did someboy say FUDGE?? Where? Where? Can I have some. Gimme gimme gimme. :)

Melody said...

Gorilla fingers and fudge. .. so much chocolatey goodness, all in one place!

PJ said...

I gained two pounds reading your post, and two more reading the comments.