Saturday, August 25, 2007

I Want All Of You To Become Rabid Fans Of The Smiling Infidel And I've Got A Cost Efficient Plan To Do It Too!

Are you tired of scouring high and low for some decent Rabies prices? Do all your friends have Rabies and you're tired of feeling like the odd one out? Well, today's your lucky day! Just fly down to Houston, Texas in the good old U S of A, because we've got your cheap Rabies hook-up right here. For less than the cost of Meatloaf's Bat Out Of Hell CD, you too can experience the exhilarating thrill that only the Rabies Virus can bring. Yay! No longer will you have to suffer through watching Old Yeller, wondering when you'll get your turn. No longer will you have to drink the super foamy whipped frappucino at Starbucks so you can feign frothing at the mouth. No longer will you have to blame bi-polar disorder for your random acts of Bat Sheet Craziness. No, my friends, your time for reduced rate glazey-eyed madness has finally arrived!

38 comments:

jams o donnell said...

For a mere £4 I could get to die horribly? What a bargain!

The plane fare to Houston does make it a little less cost effective though...still.....

Jean Knee said...

people will buy anything these days. all just a bunch of sheep, baaaah
speaking of sheep I will sell you hoof and mouth disease for only $7.oo (plus tax, shipping and handling and a surcharge)

Suzanne said...

LOL! That is all...

Oh, if Tori and I can ever come to a blog party again, I will try to arrange so I can stay longer. It would have been fun to party all weekend! :)

Tori :) said...

Rabies, huh?? I could let my kid bite you for 5 dollah.

Tori :) said...

I concur with Suzanne's comment.

Carrot Jello said...

Does that come with a free pet?

Bee said...

Hmmm... $8 dollars? My racoon out in the back is dying to give it to me for free...

Evil Kitty said...

Evil Kitty will give u rabies 4 free. Just let Evil Kitty know when and where.

aubrey said...

i have nothing witty to add.
i will just enjoy the sheer wittiness of your post. i'm not sure wittiness is a word, though.

Stacey said...

If you only knew how much I have dreamed of this day! No longer will I have to be on the outside looking in,wishing I could join in the crazy fun!

Oh great...I promised myself I wouldn't get emotional. *wipes away a tear*

b. said...

One, please.

jams o donnell said...

Ach I am truly cursed living in a rabies-free land. I will ahve to console my self with the offchance of a nasty cold.... (sighs)

shay said...

but why can I only get rabies betweeen 4 and 6:30? What if I want a morning dose of madness? What do I do then?

Special K ~Toni said...

Yay! i can finally give up Starbucks and foam at the mouth for real instead of being a poser!

PJ said...

You Texans have it all don't you!

The word verification is Ifffa as in

Ifffa wanted rabies, now I know where to go.

normanbatesmomma said...

A few of my sons pets had rabies. They are now stuffed on our motel office wall.

omar said...

There's a dude on the corner who sells rabies from out of his trunk for $10. And his is probably bootleg. I hate how everything is more expensive in NY...

SoDak Angel said...

I am gonna stick with the "I'm bi-polar" it really works best for me, and my friends.

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

I've been frothing at the mouth for a long time anyway, so yeah, sign me up! This will give me sympathy instead of looks of disgust!

Digging the England Dan & John Ford Coley. How come England Dan doesn't get to have a last name? How come John Ford Coley doesn't get to have a country in his name? These are the questions that have plagued me since childhood.

nikko said...

Yay! Rabies!

(i'm laughing too hard to type anything else. Not sure I'll even get through the wv!)

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

P.S. I'm not talkin bout movin in. And I don't wanna change your life. But there's a warm wind blowin the stars around, and I'd really love to see you tonight.

But I won't. (sigh)

Melissa said...

I want to move to Houston. It's just gotta be the funniest place to live :D

Elizabeth-W said...

Do you ever send these in to Jay Leno or something?
If you come across some bloated cans of pork and beans let me know b/c I'll try to use the botulism as a homemade version of Botox.

Nancy Face said...

This was hilarious! Your humor never ceases to amaze me! :D

I can hook y'all up with plenty of mosquitoes in our neck of the woods who will be delighted to give y'all the West Nile Virus...absolutely free!

on.the.run said...

I had a fear of getting rabies as a child. I had a friend tell me that they had to cut your head off to know whether or not you had it... I had wonderful friends.

Sketchy said...

I don't know...I think I saw "Bat out of Hell" in the dollar bin the other day.

Amanda said...

Wow, what a true friend you are passing along such helpful information. :D

Kayelyn said...

How much for the heartworm testing? I may be suffering a bit from that. I find that it is really difficult to care about some psychotic family members lately. Perhaps it's that worm in my heart.

Carol said...

I'm so proud to live in Houston. I can take advantage of the low, low prices here without the added cost of airfare. All who live outside of Houston should be jealous.

Carol said...

HAHAHA!!! I just saw the "Touched by an Infidel" category for bloggers. I am so completely jealous!

No Cool Story said...

Holy Bat Sheet Craziness!
I was touched by an Infidel in so many ways.
*Sigh*

Geosomin said...

Random acts of Bat Sheet Craziness...

Ah! So THATS the proper name for what I've been up to lately :)

sue said...

I wondered what was missing in my life... now I know. Thanks. ;)

elasticwaistbandlady said...

I apologize for my lack of comment response lately. :( I'm really, really trying to keep up with going to everyone's blogs to share comment love with them.

For the record, Infidel Daughter Number One, Sunbum, spotted the sign with her keen little eye and I just filled in the rest of the story. I'll rue the day she ever gets a blog because we'll be in direct competition for snappy pictures.

Kimberly said...

Too good to be true...now where's the fine print?

wynne said...

Well, thank heaven! I've been looking for a great deal on rabies for YEARS, and it's because I've been looking in the wrong place. Texas! Who would've thought?

Burg said...

Hmmmm.. I'll have to wait until payday.

Physcokity said...

lol