Wednesday, August 29, 2007

This Writing Technique Earned The Erik Estrada Seal Of Approval!

The August gathering of the Creative and Radical Alternative Penmanship Society, or C.R.A.P, will now come to order.

Our exclusive writing review board is a little short-staffed after the big Agatha Christie Poison Pen fiasco last week. Our condolences to the families. We're playing things a little safer this time by showcasing the finest in edible ink.

Voltaire had his favorite feather pen which, if he were alive today, would likely heatedly argue with Captain Feathersword of The Wiggles over which is mightier- The feather pen? Or the feather sword? At C.R.A.P, we eschew classic writing traditions, and opt instead for the unique. Our reviewer, Sunbum, has donned a lovely sombrero for the occasion, and filled her ink well with picante sauce to test its worthiness as a viable ink substitute. Armed with a bowl of tortilla chips, Sunbum carefully pens an important message onto the scrolled paper.

Weary of people telling her that her writing lacks zest and verve, Sunbum happily reports that chronicling her thoughts with salsa adds an instant spiciness to everything, with little to no effort. Quotes Sunbum: "I imagine that this is what a Penmanship Class in Mexico must look like. Tables filled with fresh hot sauce and tortilla chips, just ready for their eager pupils to create a written masterpiece with."

Indeed. Who wants to enter the strenuously choreographed world of salsa dancing when you can sit on your butt and become a salsa writer instead?

Sunbum had only one lament about using the Chip N Dip process. She advises that it's a technique best used when accompanied by a huge writer's block.....of cheese!
Next week, our reviewer will travel back to the beginning of writing instrument history by using a bug-eyed squid to recapture the pen and ink basics.

32 comments:

Lei said...

You are a riot... so clever! Lol!

Lisa said...

You are a riot and how fun for your cute little Sunbum to enjoy such creative activities! What an awesome mom/teacher you are!

Carrot Jello said...

Shall I say you are a riot too?
I know you in real life, and you are a riot, my friend.
Now. Can she write with a bottle of ketchup?

Tori :) said...

Oh Elastic, you are such a riot!! I bet no one else will you that word to describe you. Oh wait...

Sunbum is so very clever.

Sketchy said...

Elastic -- you riot!!!

Because I had to go with the crowd, I'm so meek like that. Someday I will inherit though.

Jean Knee said...

Oh Elastic you wri-ut!
I mean you write! I mean you writ

something..
you make even rioting fun.

but enough about your teaching prowess- you won a runner's up award for saying something nice about me on my blog--did you rig that by the way?

Geosomin said...

Aw...that reminds me of writing "secret" messages to my friends with lemon juice as a kid. Then we'd hold it over a candle or the fireplace and read the letters taht appeared.
I'll have to try it out with salsa...

Melissa said...

So THIS is how homeschooling works...
Thanks for the laugh :)

BarnGoddess said...

this was great! ha, you are clever

now I want some chipsNsalsa

sue said...

This series may never end! Just think of all the possibilities!

Stacey said...

Elastic you are a quiet riot.

Mmmm..chips and salsa.

normanbatesmomma said...

I homeschooled my Norman too... He would write me the sweetest love notes.

Kayelyn said...

I dream of the cleverness that you employ each time you place your fingers on the keys of your computer and create a masterpiece that leaves me in awe and wonderment of your skills.

Oh, that I might someday be able to learn from you, the master at writing, how to bring such HUGE smiles to the faces of so many readers.

(I am looking at you with admiring eyes now)

So riot-us!

nikko said...

Very cool. I will not say that you are a riot ;o), but I will say that I always leave your blog with a chuckle and a smile.

Can't wait to see what Sunbum writes with next!

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

Wow - you used Voltaire in a post. Muy impressivo.

I love Sunbum's Elvis wig best.

P.S. you're a riot

Kimberly said...

Isn't she just the weest bit brilliant for her age? Home schoolin' rocks the casbah alright.

jams o donnell said...

What an excellent idea you could market here. Edible pens and "inks" in a range of tasty flavours and colours. Perhaps Cross will market it as the Infidel range!

Amber said...

Hot hot hot.

Don't give The Hurricane any ideas. She already uses chocolate as her ink....

aubrey said...

love love love it. and such lovely handwriting from the sunbum.

Nancy Face said...

You are hysterically humorous (and a riot)! I ♥ reading your blog, and you're absolutely the funniest person I've never met! :D

Yay for Sunbum! :D

Bee said...

You will be my next interview after the Wicked Witch. I need to know what makes you tick, what inspires you, do you come up with these things while in the bathroom...?
I think your public needs to know! :o)

P.S.
This post made me hungry...

Suzanne said...

Ooh, Elastic, I want to come have school at your house. It looks like so much fun (and yummy too)! :D

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

Dude. The song place only has two Melissa Manchester songs and only one works. So I'm substituting some Carly Simon, which is kind of cliche but better than nothing.

m said...

Excellent. Future career assured.
Cheers

omar said...

Not only is it impressive that you mentioned Voltaire, but that you did so in the same sentence that you mentioned Captain Feathersword.

Elizabeth-W said...

How old is sunbum? She's not the baby, right? Cause that is some fancy dang handwriting!!

Rhonda said...

How creative!

And now I find myself kind of hungry....

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

I GOT MIDNIGHT BLUE TO WORK

:: doing a sultry happy dance ::

Tori :) said...

Um, you posted this on Wednesday. It's Friday. Where are you??? :(

elasticwaistbandlady said...

I just lived through the worst work week ever in the history of my worst work weeks. At least I got paid before the Labor Day holiday, though.

I'm also a little bit hooked on Twilight right now and trying to catch up with my daughters before we start Eclipse.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Thanks Millie.....

Wouldn't you give your heart to a friend? Think of me as your friend.

Crap Happy Mama said...

This post was wildly inventive and creative. It should have earned you at least 101 Dalmations and 101 comments.

Maybe Doritos will see your genius and pick you up to write ad copy for them. You spicy little Infidel, you!