Sunday, September 23, 2007

When An Infidel Loves A Jean Knee.......

My favoritest stalker, jean knee, is a little obsessed with Halloween. The HORROR! Halloween is really one of those gateway holidays. I'm profoundly concerned that jean knee might one day wake up in a leprechaun outfit after a wild night out with The Easter Bunny brawling with Santa's Candy Cane groupies. Anyway, to her I dedicate this song.......


Ministry-Halloween Is Every Day


I've often wished that Halloween was every day, too. But only if certain people I know would dress up as famed mime, Marcel Marceau, and shut their gapingly wide pieholes for awhile.


R.I.P Marcel----Somewhere in the heavens, the late Rosemary Clooney started crooning, 'Send In The Clowns,' and this was the response.

36 comments:

nora.lakehurst said...

I dont like clowns very much. Not just because of the movie "IT" but you know what ever makes people happy. I love reading your blog BTW and I am the first WOW.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Thanks Nora!
Yeah, I'm not fond of clowns either-but Marcel is different. Maybe it's the tight white pants? Maybe it's that he's a non-verbalizing mime? Generally men in white pants make me want to disco and doesn't inspire any fear in me.

My video refuses to work. I'm going berserk at the moment and slapping my computer around.....well, I'm actually only pantomiming slapping around my computer. It's the least I could do to honor Marcel Marceau.

Bee said...

HA HA HA! jean knee is gonna flip!

Special K ~Toni said...

Yay! the top 5! Jean Knee is gonna be sooooo happy!

elasticwaistbandlady said...

bee- She should flip. After all, I'm pantomiming 'I Love You' to her right now. I wonder if she could see it better if I crawl up on my roof?

toni- Jean Knee is an unabashed Halloween Whore....of course, she's going to be happy!

Lauren said...

I wish my Fabrics teacher was a Mime...then I wouldn't have to listen to him drone on and on. BUT if he wore them pants Marcel is wearing...I may jump off something tall.

on.the.run said...

hahahaha!

Stacey said...

If someone sends in the clowns I will scream and run away. After seeing "IT" and "Everybody Loves A Clown"(a Supernatural episode),I realized I have good reason to be afraid....because they will eat me.

Although Marcel is the most non-threatening clown I've seen,I'm still going to leave and visit my happy place.

Tori :) said...

You have just made Jean Knees day, year, life.

Melissa said...

Mwahahaha... that's my evil Halloween laugh! Jean Knee should love that video... I wouldn't be surprised if that is her personal theme music :)

Jean Knee said...

I laughed, then cried
then laugh-cried, then peed my pants, i am so honored

I was on this evil clown site the other day and they had a "slap the mime game". I slapped that guy about 73 times before it got redundant.

Kayelyn said...

Good beat. Some of the pics remind me of one of my fav movies- The Nightmare Before Christmas, by Tim Burton.

Some are just weird.

Happy Halloween

Jean Knee said...

just watched the video- fascinating, not fascist, fascinating, imagery
I'm gonna have to watch a few more times..I couldn't concentrate on the words.... you know.....

This on top of Ross' stretched out belly button horror,,,just leaves one with so much to process

Jean Knee said...

Bee just Slapped me. Are you gonna let her get away with that?

what, I didn't do anything

Jean Knee said...

http://www.ihateclowns.com/slapmime.php

that dreadful link thing won't work sorry you'll have to copy and paste

they also have a slap a clown game which is amusing because saliva squirts out all over.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

lauren- Would you really want your teacher in white face pretending to cut fabric? Think of how much longer it would take for your class to end. I'd like to write a History Of The White Pants:From Sashay To Gay.

on the run- I sincerely hope you're not laughing at the dearly departed Marcel Marceau. Today I weep for him.....in pantomime form. It's less salty that way.

stacey- Remember the clown bed Bart Simpson had? He kept saying "Must not sleep-clowns will eat me...." I saw Poltergeist. I know what kind of evil clowns are capable of.

tori- She's paid her dues and earned this reward, tori. It's not easy being a full-time elastic stalker. Just the time spent finding new SPAM cupcake jokes alone was grueling.

melissa- The video was a little unsettling. Al Jurgenson of Ministry isn't exactly known for his conservative values. I think his anti-American rants are the product of some heavy drug addictions over several years.

jean knee- I'll have to contact Crap Happy Mama on this one. She likes to play 'Crap The Mime.' He doesn't have a white face no more when she's done with him.

kayelyn- I couldn't stand to sit through all 6 minutes. I just like the song. Ministry is very lunatic fringe leftist in their political ideals. I guess I didn't have to tell you that, though.

jean- As long as Bee doesn't do the Slap/Tickle Combo.....that violates all blogger buddy codes of ethics. Yeah, Ministry is a bit hard core even though they like to celebrate Halloween every day-probably by gorging themselves on candy corn and stuffing into man-sized Batman costumes.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

I don't know, jean knee, I'm a sucker for a man in a beret and suspenders......Maybe I want to play the 'Kiss The Mime' game or Slurp The Mime. I might die from toxic face paint inhalation.

Kimberly said...

Bwahahahah! (Sorry, too zonked to be witty!)

wynne said...

Hmm. I just can't tell, elastic. Are you liking Halloween or not? Look, can you see what I'm miming at you?

normanbatesmomma said...

Jean Knee will be MINE!!!

Nancy Face said...

I thought "IT" was scary, but that video is worse!!!

I do love Halloween, when little kids come to my door for the candy I haven't snarfed down yet! ;)

PJ said...

Yikes!

I had a baby on Halloween almost six years. A Ghoul!

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Kimberly- You and me BOTH, sister!

wynne- Isn't it illegal to use your cat to do nose licking pantomiming? Can't you do it yourself? I'm calling PETA.

normanbates-I bet you a shiny new set of razor sharp Ginsu Knives and a lifetime supply of shower curtains that Jean Knee will choose me.

nancy face- I only posted the video for the music. I'm not a fan of Ministry's crazy and misguided rants at all. Candy? Don't you give out boxes of raisins and apples? I'm shocked!

PJ- Alright, don't make me break out my super lame Halloween jokes all up in here....because I will! Ask jean knee, she knows the depth of my horrible Halloween humour.

No Cool Story said...

You said "clowns".

I'm outta here.

Stacey said...

Yeah I remember the freakishly scary bed Bart had..and the stupid clown from poltergeist.

*goes to a corner and sucks thumb..starts rocking back and forth*

Must..go..to..happy..place..

Annie said...

Did I ever tell you about the time when I was little and I was watching a parade and a clown came up to me and got in my face and said,
"Better get in the parade."
That scarred me for life.

Carrot Jello said...

I would just like to say that I have been here the longest.
Has there ever been a post about me?
I think not.
A true stalker never reveals the fact that they stalk you.
You don't bring me flowers.
You don't sing me love songs.
You hardly talk to me anymore, when I come through your blog at the end of the day.
I remember when...

I love clowns.
LOVE THEM.

Lisa said...

Such a good friend you are Elastic. I dressed up as a clown once. Because I am real original in my costume choices.

wynne said...

HEY NOW! It wasn't a nose-picking pantomime at all. It was a little worse than that. And as far as PETA goes, go ahead and call 'em. I'm on a first-name basis with the person who handles the animal abuse calls. Her name is Rhonda. I'm not afraid of her.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

I actually have a post for you coming up carrot, with pictures and everything! Patience, young orange grasshopper. Patience.

wynne- How many times a day do you think people call her and say "Help me rhonda, help, help me rhonda?"

For the rest of you all clown a phobes, does this mean that I can't give you all talking clown pens and lifesize clown dolls for Christmas? What if I already bought them? Isn't it the thought that counts?

Sketchy said...

I am making my hubby dress up as a hippie this year and I am dressing up as a mime, so we can go as "Peace and Quiet".

Sketchy said...

Really I am!

Sketchy said...

Actually, no I'm not. It's a lie.

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

Don't bother... they're here.

(If someone already did this line I'm going to skulk off and eat chocolate for not being original)

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

"I slapped that guy about 73 times before it got redundant."

I love this woman.

nora.lakehurst said...

Thoroughly Mormon millie. Thanks I feel 100 x's better about slappin the clown. I feel that I can go now and slap any clown I want and not fear. :D YAY