Thursday, September 13, 2007

Phooey On Huey!

I have a totally annoying stalker.......and Huey Lewis be thy name.
Huey's not very discreet as he goes about his stalkerish ways either--usually dragging along his entire band, The News, with him whenever he follows me around. The man knows no boundaries. He's followed me into the grocery store, my truck, even the sanctity of my own bathroom! As my daughter and I stood in line to pay for our purchases at Party City, Huey Lewis invaded my personal space yet again, crooning gently about 'The Power Of Love.' My daughter sighed as she remarked, "Eventually it always comes back to Huey Lewis, doesn't it?" And I'm like, "Yeah, there's just no escaping him."

I went to file a restraining order, but had to leave immediately as Huey tried to sway me otherwise by earnestly singing 'Happy To Be Stuck With You' over the courthouse speakers. He refuses to leave me alone. I don't encourage this behaviour, at all. In fact, I've gone to great lengths to turn him off and give him the slip, but somehow he always finds me again. That nice Hootie and his Blow Fish got the hint and quit following me some time ago. But there's just no shaking the tenacious Huey Lewis. Honestly, I wish that man would find himself 'A New Drug' and get a life. Besides, I already have a dedicated stalker named, jean knee, and she has never once frightened the Twinkies out of me by playing the harmonica like Huey has.

Huey Lewis should offer a special Stalker Guarantee Policy. "If you're not completely sick and tired of Huey Lewis and The News in 10 days or less, we will offer a full refund or sign you up for the stalking services of John Mayer, who will show up everywhere you go singing his horrible and depressing, mealy-mouthed song, 'Daughters.'" I've seen the Dark Side, my friends, and they pipe in Huey Lewis music there, too.

Anyone else notice this? Maybe it's just an anomaly rooted in Houston? If so, count your blessings that Huey isn't hot on your trail.

36 comments:

Sketchy said...

"Eventually it all comes back to Hewey Lewis..."

So profound.

You should be proud.

glittersmama said...

At least now "Greased Lightning" from Grease won't be going through my head again today. Thanks for changing the tracks in my brain.

Carrot Jello said...

Jessica Simpson follows me around.

carronin said...

Huey Lewis is everywhere but I don't find him nearly as annoying as Taylor Dane and her "Tell it to my heart." That was a crap song back in 1988 and it still is a crap song. I wish that one hit wonder would go away already.

carronin said...

Hi Carrot how are you this fine morning.

Special K ~Toni said...

I haven't heard a song of his in ages! I bet now I will hear 10 of them today!

jams o donnell said...

I had a problem for a while with Sting and his lute. You may notice that he now has a slightly strange walk and he finds it hard to sit down. The lute was surgically removed.....

Nancy Face said...

Are you saying you poop Twinkies?

Jean Knee said...

I'm sure I could learn to play the harmonica, it's close to the saxophone, right?
Laurie Berkner is my personal stalker. Of course that's probably Lean's doing.....
I do like that pig on her head song though

Amanda said...

poop twinkies??? hahahahahaha!!

It's been ages since I've heard mention of Huey. I must not hang out in the same circles as you. My circles tend to include Tim McGraw and my least favorite of his songs...Don't take the girl. Please! Just take the girl and get it over with!!

Carrot Jello said...

I'm fine Carronin, how are you?

elasticwaistbandlady said...

sketchy- My daughter feels the pain of Huey Lewis just as deeply as I do. It's Hip To Be Square sucks harder than Hips Don't Lie. Tragically unhip.

glitter- A few recommended selections for today Jacobs Ladder, If This Is It, Back In Time, and Heart Of Rock N Roll.

carrot- I'm going to see if we can hire tag team hit men, England Dan and Jon Ford Coley, to forget that 'Love Is The Answer' and get rid of Jessica and Huey for us.

carronin- No. The number one crap song by Taylor Dayne is 'Love Will Lead You Back.'Yeah, Taylor, but only if you lasso it and drag it back to you, kicking and screaming. Did you know that Taylor Dayne isn't even her real name? It's like Bertha, or something.

toni- Yep, that's what precipitated my Sheena Easton post last week. They kept playing her songs so continuously that I started to wonder if she had died or something. You know how they overplay people that have just kicked the bucket. Let's make it into a drinking game. Every time you hear a Huey song, swig a shot of Yoo-Hoo chocolate drink.

jams- Lute? I thought he called it his 'STINGer?' Does that mean that Sting has lost his sting?

nancy face- There's more than one way for Twinkie evacuation.....

jean knee- Pig on your head? Is that Kosher? Is that Halal approved? Have you ever given the pig a pancake?

amanda- Yeah, that and that stupid song about riding a bull named Fu Manchu. He wrote it about his dying dad, I get it. I still hate overplayed songs, though, no matter how poignant. Tears In Heaven, Candle In The Wind,.......I'm talking to YOU.

No Cool Story said...

That's the Power of Love of course.
What a cheesy group, look at them :P
It's amazing how much they play the Huey on the 80's station.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

carrot- Don't mind me listening in on the conversation between you and carronin. Go on, now, you ladies start discussing how much you love me, and I'll just be over here quietly in the corner.

NCS- YES!!!! They're one of those crossover groups that get played on adult contemporary, lite rock favorites, and the oldies stations. You can run, but you can't hide from The Huey!

Lisa said...

Huey doesn't bother me as much as John Mayer. And I am glad I have said that out loud. Maybe because every time I get in the car it is John Mayer and never Huey. Maybe we aren't so square in CA...

Physcokity said...

Oh wait I thought all of John Mayer's songs were horribly depressing & mealy mouthed...maybe that's just me or he's training extra hard for the stalker Olympics...
Come to think of it his style follows that of Sting's Every Breath You Take, which is the original stalker song.
Creepy

b. said...

Sean Kingston is following me around.
He and his "Beautiful Girls" song...if you can actually call it that. Give it a listen, he sounds like a kindergartener with a speech problem!Every.Time.I.Turn.On.My.Radio. There he is.

Stacey said...

Huey follows me into elevators and he finds his way into my phone whenever the doctor's office puts me on hold. There is no escape.

Taylor Dayne..I always wanted to take a pin and pop her lips to see if she would fly all over the room.

Melissa said...

I guess I don't have this problem. My kids are so loud that I usually don't hear the music wherever I'm at. And we usually listen to books in the car...

Bee said...

Would you like to trade?
My stalkers at the moment are Britney Spears in duet with Michael Jackson!

Tori :) said...

Huey Lewis and Bette Midler follow me. How can he be in so many places as the same time??

Annie said...

Our small town radio stations still think that Huey Lewis is putting out number one singles!

Santa,
I want satellite radio for Christmas.

sue said...

I haven't heard him in years... now, watch...you've probably cursed me.

aubrey said...

oooh, i LOVE mana. as for huey...look how studly he is in that picture. who WOULDN'T want him stalking you?

Kimberly said...

I sure do love your Weird Infidel Thoughts.

Maybe enough to stalk you...

Kayelyn said...

Huey is too busy stalking you to be bothered with me. He's way too mellow for my blood.

Perhaps you could approach your mayor on banning the scoundrel from Houston?

Just a weird thought.

mcewen said...

I suspect, but have supporting evidence, that it's only Houston - lucky old you.
Best wishes

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

No, I haven't noticed. It's just your imagination. You're high. Or on steroids. I haven't decided.

"gently crooning" cracked me up. Like Huey can gently croon anything.

Anna Maria Junus said...

Make sure you watch Back to the Future.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

B.- I just wanted to tell you that your comment cracked me up. Yeah, Sean Kingston is teh crap. His new song, Me Love......well, just the title brings flashbacks to the Divinyls.

Know who else stalks me? The Spin Doctors. I don't want to hear 'Two Princes' again for the rest of my life. Ditto for 'Losing My Religion,' and 'Hey Jealousy' and 'One Headlight.' Really, aren't there enough great songs without playing the same crap over and over and over and over again?

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

"Hey Jealousy" is one of those dumb songs that gets stuck in my head and I can only hum it because I don't know any of the words. Except, of course, "Hey Jealousy."

(Do you like how I'm breaking your 30 comment streak? Asymmetry all the way, baby.)

b. said...

Sooo....if I remember right, you have XM radio, yes? They WAAYYY over play Sean Kingston.

And I'm laughing at you and TMM, I didn't even know that's what they were saying.."Hey Jealousy". I'd just hear a snippet and go around singing, "....my jello see.." I thought they were talking about carrot. I HATE when I get the wrods worng!

I like to have an even number of comments....sooooo here's to 32.

Lei said...

PS: my 2yo loves your music and is now happily dancing at my feet!

Emily said...

Hey, I like Huey! But I've noticed that for years Sting is on every televised event with live music. Everything. Have you noticed that?

Diesel said...

Oh no you didn't.

renalfailure said...

I don't think it's stalking if the person is omnipresent like Huey is. And Huey has earned his omnipresence.

But, it is not too late to ask Huey for mercy. For the Power of Love and the Heart of Rock and Roll can forgive all, as long as you're contrite about it. And Huey will know if you don't mean it.