Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Turning Mexican, I Think I'm Turning Mexican, I Rather Think So.......

Papi and I really love that new vampire detective show on CBS: Moonlight. It's scintillating, mindless diversion the way scintillating, mindless diversion was intended to be. There's only two TV programs I watch faithfully during the week and this follows immediately after my beloved Ghost Whisperer. I've since lovingly adopted Moonlight into my limited TV viewing schedule.

So basically Mick St. John is the Edward Cullen of the Vampire Detective World. He has morals! He has values! He has a great azz, feathered hair, and an undead heart of gold!

MOONLIGHT [1:58]

This particularly steamy episode featured the main chick who lusts after Mick as she takes a naughty drug made of vampire blood that sends her straight into batsheet crazy territory. At precisely 1:15 or so you see her pulling a Bella Swan by pantingly begging Mick to turn her into a vampire while offering up her succulent neck. Of course our hero doesn't take the bait and instead douses the mortal hottie in a cold shower.

As soon as the commercial break hit, my Mexican Papi startlingly lunged across the bed at me and bared his teeth inches from my neck as he seductively purred, "Girlie, do you want me to turn you?" I started laughing as I pushed him away and said, "Turn me into what? A Mezzican? I'd rather die than ride around in a low-rider Vatamobile blaring mariachi music while eating a chorizo breakfast taquito. Besides a diet rich in beans is no bueno for a farty chick like me."

My amazing, over-talkative Gringa Powers saved me once again from the clutches of a hot, Mexican predator!

Wait a minute. I want to be pursued by a hot, Mexican predator. I wonder if I can trade in my Gringa Powers for some Chicana Power? Maybe then I can finally satisfy my man........by making him the best Chicken Mole evah!

33 comments:

Sketchy said...

LOL, so thus far he can't get no satisfaction? And he tries, and he tries?

Have to check out the show.

glittersmama said...

You kill me!

on.the.run said...

You are so funny - I love how you are with your hubby.

Speaking of vamps - have you happend to catch an ad for that movie I am Legend? I soooo hope it isn't rated R - it looks GOOD!

Jean Knee said...

oh man, I was so hoping you would turn to the jalepeno side instead of staying your gringa milquetoast self,,,, but that was before I thought about all those beans.........

Jean Knee said...

can mormons see rated r movies?

Demosthenes said...

"Not just a vampire, a smoking HOT vampire!"

I may have to indulge.

Bee said...

BAWAHAHAHA!
OK, let me compose myself and come back...

Nancy Face said...

OH...MY...GOSH! This was amazing!!!
I can't even believe that the only two shows I watch are the ones you like! I LOOOVE Moonlight! And yes, your description of delicious Mick is right on! I can't wait until Friday!

By the way, you mentioned being a farty chick...you shoulda heard all the fartin' going on up in the mountains with my hubby over the weekend...ya know, all that great food...I just forgot to put that part in my post. ;)

Bee said...

Right!

1) Moonlight: I love that show! It started cheesy but I stuck to it cuz of my obsession with vampires. This started when I was a wee little one and had one of those books that sends you from this page to that page to get different endings. Mine was about Vamps. I was 8.

2) My Vatamobile is a cool slick Hyundai Sonata in electric blue and I’m usually blasting Christmas Music (no matter what time o-year).

3) The chorizo taco would be an interesting addition to my drive. MMMMMM.

4) How I make Chicken Mole: “Mami, me puede hacer molito?” MMMM.

So think about coming over to the Vampy Chicana Vata side cuz we’s evolvin’! ;o) [neck snap, finger dance, booty shake]

Lauren said...

Oh man, Mick St. John is oh so hott...I love that dang show! Beth truly was Bella in that episode...trying to seduce a vampire...geez.

I am glad you saved yourself from the low-riders!!

Nancy Face said...

My hub loves Ghost Whisperer, but not Moonlight. He's jealous of Mick...and Edward!

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

Naught-tee. I don't know that I needed that mental picture of you and Papi in bed together, but then, you and I have shared a bed before... I guess it's not totally inappropriate.

P.S. All my friends call me "Low Rider." I can't think why. Ever since I bought these crack-baring pants...

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

P.P.S. Once you go Mezzican, you never go back.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

You Best Be Bringing Your Heavy Duty Support Bra When You Ride In This Thing. Otherwise You Gonna Have Two Black Eyes

elasticwaistbandlady said...

I wonder if NCS would appreciate the extreme cowbell-ness of it all?

Tamra Norton said...

You are insanely hysterical, my friend!

BTW--IT'S CHRISTMAS MUSIC TIME ON SUNNY 99.1 (I know how you LOVE the Christmas tunes!)

nikko said...

Ah, Elastic... Coming to your blog = guaranteed laugh for the day.

Happy Turkey Day!

Lisa said...

You are hilarious!

Ghost Whisperer is the Friday night "girl's night" in our house!! If we are going to miss it, it is recorded and then we come together and watch it. And Moonlight is another fav, too! I love them both!!!!!!!!! Did you see that Beth kept that drug?! She did! She put it away in her desk. And even though I haven't read the vampire books, this is how I imagined them to be. I can see why everyone loves them. :)
Happy Thanksgiving!

aubrey said...

oh i've never even seen a preview for that show..that girl was all bella-like and desperate. i will be strong and NOT watch it. because i know exactly what you mean by limited tv viewing. i can barely find the time to watch my two shows days after they originally air. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

jams o donnell said...

Not seen the Ghost Whisperer. It's shown on cble here but I don't think Moonlight ha mae it across the atlantic yet. The last two US imports I;ve enjoyed are Heroes and Dexter (A serial killer who fights for justice... of sorts??)

I have threatened to turn the not wife Irish but she did not relish the Guiness diet or the prospect of spending the rest of her life dancing with her arms by her side.....

Sily question, vatamobile? are those the cars with the custom suspension that bounce?

Melody said...

I love you forever, vampimezzican mama.

. . .laughed til I cried. Then wanted to vomit from dear compulsive's blog. What a day.

Hope yours is happy.

Lisa said...

How was the interviewing last week?????

Bee said...

Even on turkey day we can't be stopped from clicking!

Gift Baskets said...

You really laid it out hard and fast for your Mexican friend didn't you! Hehehe.

Elizabeth-W said...

I've not seen either of these shows.
Vatamobile--snort!! ;)

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Nancy and Lauren- Did you see that our shows will be pre-empted for a Grammy presentation next week? I am not a happy Infidel at all right now. Why can't they drop Survivor or one of those other crap shows instead?

Lisa- Papi is still on the interview circuit. He went to Dallas last week and has a couple more lined up in the next few weeks.

elizabeth- Ghost Whisperer is a MUST SEE. It's also based on a real lady that I've heard on the Coast To Coast program and its produced by James VanPraagh. Moonlight is a guilty pleasure show......but the main vampire is one vampiric hottie.

Jams- Vata is slang for a Hispanic chick. Hence making Vata-Mobile something akin to a low-rider car with fringe like pom-poms lining the windshield, flames painted along the sides, a neon undercarriage, profane mudflaps on the back tires, etc. Oh, and you can watch these shows courtesy of youtube. Papi missed a week of Moonlight and was able to catch up courtesy of youtube.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Lisa- Yeah I saw that she kept the drug. Naughty Beth!

BEE- I'll never expect a comment from you on Friday night between 7 and 9 o'clock. You can assume the same from me:) We can console each other this Friday though when our shows aren't on and CBS continues whoring up Elton John on their Grammy show as if he still matters to anybody. The man had a good stretch in the 70's and 80's but everything from the early 90's on until today blows and sounds identical to each other. Just give it up already Elton and go be a good, loving husband to your trophy husband.

Lisa said...

The shows weren't on? Maybe not there. I know Moonlight was on here. I purposely didn't watch it so I can do so while exercising today-which I am about to do. I have to check to see if we got GW taped. I hope so! We need our GW fix!!!

Good luck with all the interviewing. I hope you find a good job and a good place to live!!

Amber said...

A disturbing look into the steamy world of being an Elastic Waist Band Lady.

Who knew? :-)

Bee said...

I can't believe there will be no Moonlight next Friday! They left us with such a cliffhanger too! :o(

CLIX!

Physcokity said...

Sadly I am usually busy behaving like a social butterfly on Friday evenings.

I end up watching every episode via CBS's website. My only gripe about this is that it occasionally freezes up, but you can't gripe too hard b/c there are pretty much no commercials.

I've also linked the show in the free entertainment section of my blog. :D

I thought he would make a good Carlisle if they ever get around to putting out a movie of twilight...

No Cool Story said...

There's a joke about a vampiro fronterizo...but I can't remember how it goes.

And it has nothing to do with your post.
:P

carronin said...

Oh man, I thought I had commented already. Love the show El Jefe says it's cheesy but he watches it with me anyway.
He hates it when I compare it to Twilight. Real Vampires sparkle in the Sun, just sayin'!