Friday, January 11, 2008

The Smiling Infidel Word Of The Day......Learning Words The Infidel Way!

Today's Word Is: CAMOTOE
I took my mini-Infidels to the park today to soak up some of the gorgeous spring-like weather we're enjoying smack in the middle of winter. As we strolled along I sourly noted that the "Hoochie Poochie Mama" patrol was out in full force and taking advantage of the warm temperatures by showing off their enormous belly pooches spilling out of cropped shirts and obscenely plunging low-rise jeans.

And then we saw her. A lady wearing overly-tight stretchy pants with a camouflage print. She was walking right towards us and while I don't ordinarily take in small details the glaring full-frontal wedgie digging deeper into her womanly crevices with her every step was just too much not to notice.

A camouflage pants induced cameltoe=Camotoe

And so a new Infidel Word Of The Day was born unto us. Surely it won't be too long before it finds inclusion into the newest revised edition of Merriam and Webster's Dictionary.

*Researchers at humor-blogs.com are working on inventing special cameltoe-camouflaging pants for ladies*

48 comments:

Jean Knee said...

Oh, man you could get that in Wiki right now

Fiar said...

Submit it to Urban Dictionary!

Elizabeth-W said...

Here I am thinking I should be taking you off my daily check in list for awhile b/c you're on break.... ;)
I think that the mental image you provided for me is overwhelming, and in not in a good way. I'm so disturbed. Why don't these women look at themselves before they leave the house? Do they honestly think they look good?

K- said...

Oh the horror! *copied from Jean Knee* I'm with E-W. Don't they look in the mirror? I try to keep all my bulges under lock and key or at least covered. They do make shirts and pants in larger sizes. Just because you can squeeze in doesn't mean you should. And if you look like your spilling over it means that you really can't wear a size 12 like you used to. GO SHOPPING!

I'm ok. I'm breathing normally now. :P

glittersmama said...

It amazes me how they don't find that the slightest bit uncomfortable. I'm also amazed by women who seem proud of that nasty bit of blubber that sticks out when they wear their teenage daughter's low-rise pants and belly shirt.

b. said...

ohhhhh.....that is funny!

Have you heard the cam(el)otoe song?
It's naughty, but funny.

Bee said...

The scholars will be so happy to add this to the dictionary. One problem, since they're the nerdy geeky type they won't know what cameltoe is so you're gonna have to send that woman as a "model".

Bee said...

NEW MOONLIGHT TONIGHT!!

Lauren said...

It's as if the woman KNEW what she was doing...

I know! She reads your blog regularly...but as a lurker. She wanted to be featured on your blog so she could be famous AND she wanted to be a muse for a new word in the dictionary.

Killing two birds with one stone my friend...

Lauren said...

Once I told my brother I was killing one bird with two stones. I will never make that mistake again.

Millie said...

Ewwwwww, camotoe.

What do Komodo dragons have?

At the mall today, NCS and I saw a chick wearing a miniskirt with leopard-print nylons. They were regular leg-colored with black leopard spots on them. We were so impressed, we went to the dollar store and bought the entire outfit for Halloween.

aubrey said...

you need to enter than into urbandictionary.com. it would totally fly. or maybe it's already there..

aubrey said...

oh..duh. fiar already said that.

the frogster said...

I only learned the word cameltoe within the last year or so, and only heard it applied once (to a female relative of mine by another female relative of mine), and your adding words like pooch and overly tight and crevices just makes me want to hurl. Great new word, though.

And just blog. Don't worry if you don't visit my blog after I leave a comment or don't recomment on a comment I left or whatever. The people who run in our circle (I think) just have fun writing and visiting. If you take a week between posts, so what? I dig your stuff, and I'll dig it whether it's tomorrow or in 10 days.

Bee said...

AHHH!! I loved it! You know the boyfriend had to go right? I knew it was coming but it still took me by surprise. Did you see when Beth and him were kissing, her face looked like mine did when I give this one guy a pity kiss. ::BLECH!::

No Cool Story said...

OH NOOOOO!!! NOooooo.
Ewww. Poor you Elastic, how horrible.

Just say no to camotoe.

Roland Dodds said...

Perhaps this is a new weapon the military is testing on the populace? A diversion technique perhaps?

Sketchy said...

I am at odds with this post, on the one hand the pants sound EWWWW and oh so uncomfortable. And yet on the other, being something of a nerd I love learning new vocabulary words.

the Bag Lady said...

The Bag Lady almost spit her coffee all over her computer. She leads a sheltered life and had never even heard the term cameltoe...
She's also totally enjoying your hiatus - hope you are, too! (so, what does everyone else do when the word verification letters aren't there? Just an empty space. The Bag Lady finally figured out that if she types something at random, she'll get another chance...)

nikko said...

Eww! Icky in my eye!

BrentD said...

Sounds like she needs a more effective camouflage pattern. Or a treadmill.

Maddy said...

I'm always keen to expand my vocabulary but I'm not sure that I'm quite up to that one. Luckily dark glasses protect me from such vicious visual attacks.
Cheers

Melissa said...

JUST WRONG!! The visual image I have in my head will stay for way too long... I would say thanks, but I'm not sure that the sarcasm would be properly conveyed! BLECH!!

xDashofPanachex said...

She's stuffing.

heh, what a concept.

on.the.run said...

Sounds like a yeast infection waiting to happen... How do people not notice these things?

elasticwaistbandlady said...

I'm very sad to admit that I'm not the original master wordsmith I once thought. Urban Dictionary does have an entry for camotoe. I didn't see it at first because it's listed as two words "camo toe." This is a sad, sad, day for me. I would link the Urban Dictionary one because it IS funny but it violates my PG-13 standards around here.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Hey, those of you who know me know perfectly well that I'm no junior petite but I do cover my jiggly belly baby flap with long shirts and modest pants/shorts. I won't even wear the V-neck shirts that Lane Bryant wants to foist off on us chubsters because it feels icky like, "Never mind my fat butt just look up here at my giant boobs."

Hey thanks Frogster. I always feel foolish to admit that blogging has been a big part of my life and even more foolish to admit that I thrive on kind words from fellow blogsters. :)

mklasing said...

When I run for President I will repeal all entitlement programs and direct all the excess money from that to one single entitlement program: It will be mandated by law that every home have a full length-government provided mirror. AND--each citizen MUST view it before leaving their home each day. ;)

BarnGoddess said...

ew.

that is nasty. down right scary.

Like you, I do everything in my power to cover my jiggly plus sized assets....

Millie said...

"Never mind my fat butt just look up here at my giant boobs."

Those big boobs are such a joy, aren't they? Like my mom always said, "Your husband will love 'em."

We made up a new phrase during lunch Friday - "chubby girl cold." "It's not just cold, it's chubby girl cold outside" (since we take longer to feel the cold with all our lovely internal padding).

jams o donnell said...

Chubby boy too Millie! My own internal organs are better insulated than they, perhaps, should be!

Camotoe. I love it Ewbl. I may have to send it in for entry to Roger's Profanisaurus!

Palm Springs Savant said...

oh that is hilarious...and gross at the same time. what IS IT about women who love to wear those tight pants that show off the...the...other set of...ah you know what I mean.

compulsive writer said...

You had me at "gorgeous spring-like weather."

Welcome back. I thought you signed off. But I must be seeing things.

(I'm glad I was wrong.)

Nancy Face said...

How tragic it is that the mini-Infidels were subjected to such a horrific sight! EWWWWW! :0

I just don't get the whole tight pants thing...wedgies feel horrible, and they LOOK even worse!

Nancy Face said...

I love what The Frogster said about blogging and commenting. I agree completely! :D

Nancy Face said...

I'm so glad you're still writing down those ideas in your head! I mean, seriously...how could you witness Camotoe in living color, and NOT blog about it? :D

Amber said...

Do you think I could get that in hot pink? I just LOOOOOVE the pink camos out there.....

Lisa said...

Elastic, you have all the fun!

Lisa said...

By the way...I'm almost 40. I don't know any of this slang talk. I had to look it up. And I do not like the last word they used. "Girl parts" work for me.

But I am thankful for the education I get over here. I feel so hip now.

Diesel said...

Maybe she thought you wouldn't be able to see it because of how well she blended in with her surroundings.

Melissa said...

Since I don't have your email...
Barbara Manatee (manatee, manatee)
You are the one for me (one for me, one for me)
Sent from up above (up above, up above)
You are the one I love (one I love!)
Personally, I prefer...
Everybody's got a water buffalo, your's is fast, but mine is slow, oh where'd we get them, I don't know, everybody's got a water buffalooooooooo

Some random stranger said...

Is it wrong to ask for photographic evidence next time. I am sure she will oblige after happily going out with her giblets on disply. This is for research purposes you understand. I dont feel quite ill enough from the mental image to really blow chunks and feel seeing it might just make the sick trigger fire.

Bee said...

It's a little known fact but I not only wear V-necks, I wear vase-necks see here-> (V) the deeper the better to show off mine boobies! ;o)
But seriously I um wear them to alongate my neck and make me look taller. Yeah, sounds good.

Lisa said...

Thanks to this post I have a new phobia. I put on my stretchy capri pants today. They are not tight, but what if those extra folds of stretchy-ness draw attention to where I don't want attention? Ahhh! Is there a word for that? And don't say-idiot. ;)

Physcokity said...

How do these people not injure something with pants so heinously tight. g'ew

suburbancorrespondent said...

I don't think I'm going to be able to get that mental picture you created out of my head...

Annie said...

Hairlip girls love camotoe

wynne said...

Hmm. I really hope you will have the opportunity to use the new word again, and soon...but really, what are the odds?

(You don't live by an army base, now, do you?)