Thursday, February 28, 2008

When Your Moodiness Is Moodier Than The Blackest Black On A Mood Ring....

Shortly after the birth of our fourth daughter, Papi reluctantly resigned himself to his inevitable fate. He commented thusly, "I think we should just go ahead and buy Kotex stock since we'll single-handedly guarantee they'll enjoy skyrocketing profits a few years from now." Papi's a practical man. That's why he'll make a fine accountant.

So, I started thinking about maybe building an addition to our house in preparation for the tumultuous future that lay ahead of us. I mean, people have long built storm shelters and fall-out shelters in the event of dire emergency, so why not construct a PMS shelter as a sanctuary for the male minority of the Infidel household during the most dangerous days of the month? Fortuitously enough, I spotted this company truck while they were out working on a local home renovation project.
Who better to build an effective PMS shelter than the very people who understand what it's like to be Moody?

If you need a builder who specializes in the installation of large but tasteful wailing walls, Moody is the one to call. If you need a builder to dig out a bottomless pit of despair right in your very own backyard, Moody ranks number one in pit-of-despair customer satisfaction. If you need a builder to erect a fountain that you may then fill with your salty tears of infinite sorrow, Moody will get the job done!

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23 comments:

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Not too far away from us in lovely Galveston, Texas is this stately and elegant mansion dating back to the turn of the century.

Moody mansion. Yeah, it's the Moody Mansion. It's haunted, too. Moody ghosts! Close by is Moody Gardens where you can walk among the wilted flowers and feel sad.

Millie said...

I feel so moody after reading this. Poor Papi, so outnumbered.

I want a PMS room. It would have a hot tub, a TV and DVD player, lots of chick flicks, chocolate, a phone, and a minifridge. And a big fluffy couch/chair thing.

Stacey said...

I want a room of my own..what was their number again? 1-800-SCREWYU?

elasticwaistbandlady said...

No, see the PMS Moody room is for their own protection from the savage, raging menstruating female beast. Think Jodie Foster's Panic Room made especially for men......

Physcokity said...

Will they be pumping the Moody Blues? Maybe we should take on both and simply have a "his" and "hers" Moody room.

jams o donnell said...

I'm fortunate to have not one but two sheds to hide out in. The one at the back of the garden is stone built... the not-wife's PMS days just fly by!

Melissa said...

This idea has merit, but the boys outnumber the girls in our family. So I like Millie's idea... a room where I can go and hide from everyone during that time... you know, to protect them from me... :)

Elizabeth-W said...

I love the Moody Mansion!
I'm always telling Shazzy whenever one of the girls is having a little freakout that this is NOTHIN' compared to how it might be in about 10 years. I'll be hotflashing, and they'll be wailing/cramping. He needs a room of his own.

Lisa said...

You are so considerate of the men of your family. I have a moody daughter who was all too grumpy this morning. But I helped her out by explaining to her it was "nature." She loves me.

I've never been to Moody Mansion, but I went to Moody Gardens, and funny...my oldest was 7'ish and she was moody there! I have the best picture of it! I'm not clever enough to have put that together myself. Thanks!

Stacey said...

Now I'm kind of relieved that I am having another boy. One teenage girl will be enough.

Carrot Jello said...

Am I your best friend, or what? I got you to the top of humor-blogs. I only had to click 30 times today and yesterday.
I'm nice like that.

Rebecca said...

What? For the men? No.....

I like Millie's idea.

(And you may think it's gross, I did until I got used to the idea but now I wouldn't live without it. Save $$$ on Kotex. Buy a divacup.)

Rebecca said...

TMI? Hey, I'm just helping to save money from being flushed down and clogging the potty.

Nancy Face said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nancy Face said...

Oh, your poor Papi!

You're a genius, woman! This was hilarious! :D

My Kris Face does not have a PMS Moody room, sad to say. When he can no longer stand it, he takes a hike...around the neighborhood. Yeah, he really shows US what's what! :0

Amber said...

My hubby tells the story of a popular parenting lecturer who, one day in a room full of thousands of parents, posed the question:

"Who in this room thinks girls are more diffiult to raise than boys?"

Every hand in the room went up.

The end. And our end as well.

Jean Knee said...

You're gonna have to invest in doors what with all the "I hate You!!"
slams going on

aubrey said...

my poor dad and brothers needed one of those rooms during my teenage years. my sister and my mom and i were a sight to behold during that once a month week of terror.

It's Just me! said...

You won't believe this but when I was touring Waimea Falls in O'ahu, Hawaii, we saw something like this! There was a shack type house and the sign in front of it indicated it was the "Menstrual House". For the women to go to.

There unfortunately was NO chocolate in the house nor was there TV or any other cool gadgets. I'm thinking a man built it!

Bee said...

my day strated OK then got better and now I'm back to moody so this post is VERY appropriate.

on.the.run said...

Don't forget Moody Gardens... those Moody's own 1/2 of Galveston - you'd think they wouldn't be so Moody.

Geosomin said...

One word - awesome.

kam said...

You are a very creative thinker.