I baked up a delectable treat that's not only the embodiment of chocolate bliss but can also help immunize your entire family against the dastardly Avian Flu. Seriously. Just read this article. Yeah, life-saving cake that you don't even need a prescription or an overseas Internet drug dealer for.
Here's all the ingredients assembled together. You might want to add a hair net to your list because life-saving or not, most people don't care to munch on hair strands embedded amongst the cakey morsels.
Ummmmm, I know it's magnificent, but please stop staring at my sexy red spatula. kthx.
This is the part where you throw everything haphazardly into a shiny metal bowl. Throwing everything around haphazardly- that's where my secret kitchen talent lay.
For this next step you need to have a beefy, steroid-induced bodybuilder on stand-by to break the nearly impenetrable seal on the sauerkraut jar using sheer brute force. Otherwise, you'll be standing there in your kitchen moaning and grunting and panting while trying to loosen up the sauerkraut lid while your husband sits in the next room wondering if you checked out that Joy Of Erotic Cooking cookbook from the library.
You now have the sauerkraut precisely where you want it. The sauerkraut is a prisoner of your cutting board with nowhere to run to and nowhere to hide as you show off your mad knife-wielding skills and hack it into oblivion. You are the master and commander of the kitchen blade. That'll show those mofos over at Benihana Grill for refusing to hire you!
Whenever I use my mixer I like to sing that classic 80's song by The Cars, Shake It Up, only I change the words to "Mix it up, oooh, ooh, mix it up...." This is a very crucial instruction. If you don't encourage and play cheerleader for your mixer, your cake will turn out crappy. Notice that I'm using Libby's brand sauerkraut for my masterpiece. Yeah, Bush's Best sauerkraut just wasn't good enough. Sorry, Bush's. If one day I decide to make a canned baked beans cake, you're in!
Be extremely cautious as you transfer the batter over to the greased-up Bundt cake pan. If you get any batter on you the Police will automatically arrive at your doorstep and haul you away to a battered women's shelter.
Behold........the majestic awesomeness of my SARS-fighting secret weapon, Chocolate Sauerkraut Cake! I like the way it looks covered up in powdered sugar. It gives it a bit of "Walking In A Winter Wonderland" whimsy, don't you think? The mini-Infidels took this to their Homeschool Book Club and nobody could guess the secret ingredient. Nobody! Oh, that sauerkraut is really a genius master of disguise, fooling and deceiving all who get close to it. I'm going to put some on my next IRS audit.
We're not through with the Sauerkraut celebration just yet. The Smiling Infidel Gourmet will soon delve into the exotic wonder of The Passion For Sauerkraut cookbook to bring you the tantalizing recipe for Sauerkraut Custard Pie which is sure to also ward off sickness while delighting your taste buds!