First of all, allow me to wish those of the Jewish faith a very Happy Passover season.
Okay, I scored some nice Manischewitz brand Kosher Split Pea Soup mix on a grocery store clearance rack for super cheap. Hey, I know that I'm only getting a split pea....and sure it blows to think about someone sitting around disfiguring perfectly good peas to make them go farther..... but a Whole Pea Soup Mix would probably cost more and with grocery prices on the rise, I'm happy for what I can get to meet the nutritional needs of my merry band of Infidels.
The bargain price I paid for this fine and hearty meal would definitely make any good Jew worth his weight in matzoh balls beam with unbridled happiness.
What I did next, however, would instantly crush any modicum of mirth or joy- kind of like the time everything was going splendidly during the Jewish Community Center production of Fiddler On The Roof.....that is until the guy playing the role of fiddler shook his Shekels a bit too hard and fell off, fiddle and all. "Rock-A-Bye Fiddler On The Rooftop, When The Wind Blows, The Fiddler Will Rock......"
I decided that adding a few morsels of meat to the soup mix would render it more flavorful and filling. Yes, I did something naughty and violated the purity of the Kosher-observant split peas by allowing a filthy ham steak to co-mingle with them in our soup pot.
I wonder how you say "unholy alliance" in Hebrew ? I wonder what the Yiddish translation of the phrase "for something that seems so wrong, this tastes sooooooo right" is?
In English, the words are "I never knew that peas getting porked could be so delicious."