Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Infidel Freak Secret Of The Week......Because I'm Too Lazy To Send It In To The Post Secret Site

Thanks to years of watching people find unexpected treasures in their very own home on the PBS program, Antiques Roadshow, I now fully expect to uncover some long-forgotten but insanely valuable artifact tucked away in between the rafters of my attic every time I have to trudge up the narrow, wooden attic ladder to get a box out of storage. I don't think the Men Without Hats cassette tape and my old Spelling Bee trophy I found up there last week is going to cut it as valuable artifact status.

I know that it's a totally unrealistic expectation given that the our house is only 11 years old.....and we're the original owners, but I can dare to hope that life-changing money will just fall into my lap every once in awhile, can't I?

Truth be told, the only item in my attic of marginal interest or value may be the wide assortment of insects. I wonder how much the Museum of Natural Science would pay me for a genuine albino roach carcass?

55 comments:

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

Like a good little donkey, I'll be working non-stop for the rest of the week.

Please don't feel obligated to leave a comment since I can't reciprocate. Sorry. :(

Alice said...

I'd be willing to give you at least a quarter for the albino roach.

Alice said...

Oh - and I was reading Bee and she mentioned a birthday?!?! When is yours?

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

My birthday is today. I feel like the birthday pinata after its already been whacked and emptied, though.

You're so nice to leave me THREE comments, Alice.

Elizabeth-W said...

You are born on the zodiac cusp. I swear you were born a day late--you are a Taurus, just like me!
Happy Birthday, Elastic!!

Jean Knee said...

Elastic's true birthday is on Thursday, and we are gemini twins.

I have maternity clothes in my attic. never to be used again

the Bag Lady said...

Well Happy Birthday to you!!
The Bag Lady has been so busy birthing calves, she hasn't always had time to visit and comment on all her favourite blogs! How fortuitous that she stopped by here today, only to discover it's your birthday!

Have a great one!

damon said...

I'm sure if you produce a genuine albino roach carcass, that show has someone who will know what it's worth!

Happy Birthday to you!

Stacey said...

You never know about that spelling bee trophy.

Happy birthday to you!

Bee said...

I don't know who wouldn't pay you TONS of money for the Albino carass!!
I'll start the bidding at $1,000,000.

HAPPY BIRFFHDAY!!

Bee said...

Also, we never comment out of obligation. We comment because you tickle out funny bone therefore we need to let you know we peed a little.

Lisa said...

Happy Happy Birthday Elastic dear!

I (well not really-a service) removed one dead rat from my attic. And since there are no boxes up in ours, I don't even have the tiniest of hopes of finding treasures in my attic. :(

Have lots yummy birthday treats!

Lisa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nancy Face said...

PLEASE send me that cucaracha carcass! I would pay big bucks for a chance to terrify my daughter!

Muahaha! >:)

Melissa said...

You know, there are enough of us that would like the albino roach, maybe you could lease it out? Each person could keep it for a few days, scare the crap out of family and friends and then send it to the next person! :)
And Happy Birthday Melissa Twin! :D I hope they don't work you too hard and that you get some extra cheeze on your nachos today!

Jami said...

Happy Birthday to you.
You live in a zoo.
You are getting some Sah-ah-x
to go with your shoe.

Happy Birthday to you.
You live in a zoo.
I think that you're funny
And I'm glad to've met you.


You live in a zoo.

Jami said...

Oh that last zoo comment was uncalled for and not intended. My third song was lamer than the first two. :)

Suzanne said...

Your Men Without Hats tape is valuable to me! But I can only give you $3.42 for it...before Pop Goes the World! :D S-A-F-E-T-Y safe dance!

Carrot Jello said...

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELASTIC!

JustRandi said...

Happy Happy Birthday! I hope you at least get some time today to put on some cute socks and eat nachos!

JustRandi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
JustRandi said...

Sorry about the double comment.

Suzanne said...

P.S.

Happy, Happy Birthday, Elastic Dear,
Happy days will come to you all year.
If I had a wish, then it would be,
A Happy, Happy Birthday to you from me!

***hugs***

Suzanne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jill said...

Happy birthday!!!!!!

You could cover that cockroach carcass with Swarovski Rhinestones, and sell it on eBay.

I'm sure somebody would buy it.

glittersmama said...

HAPPY FREAKING BIRTHDAY!

I can't wait to meet you in August.

You and my favorite physcokity share a birthday. No big surprise there...

Heffalump said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELASTIC!!!!!

Yvonne said...

Happy Birthday--hope it's a good one.

Physcokity said...

Happy Day to my b-day twinner! & From my limited knowledge albino ro-cha-chas are from excessive inbreeding so they are rednecks too!

Red said...

I read on Carrot's blog that it's your birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

BTW it's also one of my bosses birthday too, you're not him are you? ROFL!

Thorny Tree Lady said...

Happy Day o' Birth! May you be blessed with many many gifts from your infidel offspring!

Tori :) said...

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELASTIC DEAR!!!!!!

NOBODY said...

Happy Birthday!

Hey It's Di said...

WOW! So it's your Birthday and all huh? Cool! I hope you have a fabulous one and you deserve to find some cool artifact in your attic. I don't care how new your house is! It fell from heaven or something just for you!

The other day I found some tapes of 80s big hair bands my husband loved/loves. . I STILL couldn't throw them out:D

HAPPY 20TH ELASTIC!! (oh sorry, I forgot that you didn't want everyone to know your age:)

aubrey said...

HAPPY BDAY, ELASTIC!! XXOO

Jennifer B. said...

It's your birthday?!

Then I must comment.

Happy Birthday Elastic! and thank you for all the laughs you so generously supply.

Jean Knee said...

I called you today to sing you Happy Birthday but some kid answered. I sang it anyway. did you get the message???

Hilary said...

Happy birthday EWBL! Hope it's a great one.

b. said...

Happity Birthday!!!

I might go out and buy a black velvet glitter dress in your honor!

I hope it's a GREAT day for you!

No Cool Story said...

Happy Birthday!!!
TOOO YOUUUUUUU!!!!
YAY!

******* Confetti *******

Lori said...

bag lady refers to herself in the third person...odd huh?

Ok so, Happy Birthday lady! I hope that it's been a great day, or Thursday? Whenever the heck it is. hehe

By the way, I'm hurt you won't be commenting around at ALL of our blogs ;P

wynne said...

PLEASE sell the roach on eBay. Could be fun.

And HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! (These things keep sneaking up on me and I'm so unprepared. Boo. Now that I know when it is, I'm making a note of it, so I'll be sure and forget it anyway, but ahead of time.)

I hope it was loverly.

Lauren said...

happy birthday!

Lauren said...

HAPPY FREAKIN BIRTHDAY!

Lauren said...

happy happy happy birthday!

Lauren said...

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaappy birthday, love!

Klin said...

Well, I'm late to the party.

Happy Birthday to the best comic I know. Love ya.

OH, and you have a genuine albino roach carcass? In your attic? I only have insulation. That I can see. Uhm, yeah, I'm not looking for anything else. :0 Yes. I am a big chicken.

Nancy Face said...

So THAT'S what I get for not reading the comments! I've been trying (with no luck, haha!) to get you to tell me when your birthday is, and here I find out from Lar Face who found out from Carrot, now that it's almost over! :0

Nancy Face said...

I feel pretty sheepish.

Nancy Face said...

BAAAAAAAAAA!

Nancy Face said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nancy Face said...

Be watching your mailbox...you never can tell what might show up!

Nancy Face said...

Here's a birthday song for you (to the tune of Allouette)!

HAP-PY BIRTHDAY,
HAVE A HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
HAP-PY BIRTHDAY,
HAVE A HAPPY DAY!
HOORAY! :D

shay said...

wow - brave lady. I'm not sure I could venture up there if there really were bugs...

Oh and I would love to have an attic! How fun!

Millie said...

Did you get my message yet???? :)

You don't look a day over 29.