Sunday, May 18, 2008

Oh Yes, It's Ladies Night And The Feelings Right.....Oh, What A Night!

Admittedly my time spent prowling around the Ladies Night scene has long since ceased. Getting married to my Papi and birthing our six mini-Infidels kind of put a damper on that flame. I saw a Ladies Night promotional flyer back in April for a local establishment. I simply couldn't resist the allure of enjoying one last Ladies Night fling before declaring myself officially too old for such frivolities.

I debated with myself over what to wear. Should I strut my stuff and accentuate my floppy, flappy baby gut with a tight pair of gold disco pants or should I opt for the glittery black velvet mini-dress my mom called her 'Millennium Dress' right before she bequeathed it to me? (It's called a 'Millennium Dress' because nobody wants to see it more than once every 1,000 years) I decided that I wasn't going there to impress anyone so I wore my standard khaki pants/knit shirt uniform.

As I drove to the Ladies Night festivities I mentally warned myself not to get too crazy. I knew I needed to adhere to a two-drink restriction since I didn't have a designated driver with me. I also worried about what people at church would think if they saw me going in there. Would they assume I'm just a cheap hussy?

Originally, I didn't set out for Ladies Night with the intention of playing the part of a 'Pick-Up Artist' but I'm weak and prone to giving in to lusty temptations. I couldn't control my busy, probing hands; they were everywhere! Before the evening was even half-over, I scored. I silently hoped that Papi wouldn't be too upset with me for bringing home my conquest that I just bagged an hour earlier. He really hates it when I go out and score without him.

Thanks To Ladies Night At Nauvoo Books And Their Accompanying Sale I Scored:
1. A book, Starchild, found on clearance for the oldest Infidel daughter, Sunbum. (By the way, Sunbum LOVES this book)
2. A new pocket-sized Primary Children's Songbook to replace our old one with the broken binding and missing pages.
3. And also on clearance, a Book Of Mormon sticker variety pack.

This was the first Ladies Night I've ever attended that I didn't sorely regret the next day. :)

26 comments:

Lisa said...

I think you chose your outfit well!

Stacey said...

I'm glad you were able to control yourself and not get too crazy in your khakis.

Alice said...

That poster for Ladies Night looks like the new Kotex packaging.

I'm glad you had fun, but maybe next time you should bring your gang to BoyChild's birthday party instead. ; )

Melissa said...

HA!! I love Alice's comment... she's right. It does look like the new Kotex stuff... nice.
I'm so glad you were able to enjoy this ladies night out without any serious regret or remorse! :)

Jean Knee said...

sorely regret hha ha

just struck my funny bone for some reason

bone..ha heee

glittersmama said...

I was kind of hoping for a picture of the gold disco pants.

Hey It's Di said...

Oh Wow! I was sucking that in like I was living out some crazy bar hoping "ladies night" fantasy through you and your khakis. How weird is that?

I was beginnning to think that my neck of the woods was so boring:). . actually it is!

Bee said...

You are so lucky! My bookstores never have ladies nights. Another reason to move to Texas?

jams o donnell said...

Ah who needs nightclubs and banging tunes when there is the book club social.. I know I would opt for the latter anyday!

aubrey said...

thank goodness for those tiny children's songbooks. last sunday our chorister's wife went into labor so he couldn't be there in sacrament meeting to conduct the primary children in their tribute song to their moms, so i had to scramble to find someone to conduct them, then when all the kids were up and ready to perform, we found out that pianist wasn't there and when the organist jumped to fill in, we couldn't find a children's songbook but then some person in the congregation had one of those. THANK goodness. mind you, i'm the primary pres and this chaos all reflects on me..it was so embarrassing. but..i'm really glad for that mini songbook.

p.s. go watch this SNL skit from last week..

Klin said...

I'm so glad you kept to the 2 drink minimum, especially since you didn't have a designated driver.

I need a ladies night.

wynne said...

Did they really have Food?

And Prizes?

And what sort of Fun did they have?

And I can't help noticing the date on the poster. Has this been in your drafts pile for a month, then? (If so, I'm glad to know I'm not the only one to do that.) OR do they just write the date differently in Texas?

Elizabeth-W said...

So you know today was my first day in Primary. There is a song for naming all the flippin' Apostles!! I am going to have to buy one of those mini versions for sure!

Chell said...

Very good build up...I was really expecting to see something different when I scrolled down! And yes, even in South Africa, our Kotex looks like that!

Amber said...

You got me excited you were actually going to bust a move. How sorely, sorely sorely disappointed I am.

And don't even talk to me about Ladies Night. When I worked at Deseret Book's corporate office, planning it over General Conference at all the stores was my biggest project.

And nightmare.

Stacey said...

I don't think it's Kotex,that has Julie written all over it.

VE said...

Doh...I've been trying to get into Ladies Night since I was a teenager...

Suburban Hippie said...

I think you are too wild for me.

the Bag Lady said...

The millenium dress line made me spit my coffee. Almost choked.
Too funny!

Nancy Face said...

I just donated my 1980's copy of Star Child to a thrift store because no one wanted to buy it at my yard sale! If only I'd known! ;)

Nancy Face said...

My Primary Songbook is falling apart, too! :(

Nancy Face said...

You crack me up! :D

Johnna said...

Ha! great punchline, fabulous build-up.

I want to go to Ladies' Night with you!

Physcokity said...

I'm a definite fan of the millenium dress ;)

Millie said...

Well. It's no night at Flirts Nightclub at the Portland Airport Hilton, but I guess whatever works.

Suzanne said...

LOL at Alice! Are you gunna brag to all the church ladies about your conquests? :)