Sunday, May 11, 2008

It's Mother's Day....Beware The Last Minute Shopper Guys Bearing Gift-Wrapped Pumpkins

I found this image of a plump orangey pumpkin all carved up and pretty in honor of Mother's Day totally amusing.

"Oh honey, a squishy Mother's Day pumpkin just for me? I raised such a thoughtful and wonderfully creative little angel. I'll be sure to remember this special, special gift when Christmas comes around. I hope I can get your pumpkin customized with a big Christmas present design cut-out right in the middle because that will indeed be your Christmas present."

I just returned from Wal-Mart. Dawn hadn't even broken and yet the store was filled with men bearing a desperate look in their eyes as they stumbled towards the card aisles only to find the Mother's Day section scavenged and picked nearly clean.
We saw one man putting together a few items in a lovely pastel floral gift bag. Included among the carefully selected items was a box of pale yellow Q-Tips and some mouthwash.
Nothing tells a woman how grateful you are for enduring 9 months of gestating your seed like personal hygiene products......and they were generic brand hygiene products at that!
I suppose the guy can be given points for originality in by-passing the pre-made gift baskets in order to make up his own.
Perhaps the wife is a closeted Q-Tip addict and the pale yellow-tinged Q-Tips are all she needs to make her rainbow Q-Tip collection complete.
I noticed some of the female employees wore gigantic smiles on their face as they watched the herd of crazed men scrambling around for something, anything to give to that special woman in their life on Mother's Day.
It's lucky that Wal-Mart doesn't sell these awesome Mother's Day pumpkins or some of you ladies would surely end up with one today for all your childbearing/child-rearing efforts.

23 comments:

Jean Knee said...

First!!

Jean Knee said...

I find that pumpkin to be absolutely heart warming.

We have three totally intact, real pumpkins we are saving for a special holiday--maybe Lean's graduation from Kindergarten. we carved one for New Years, it rocked

Jean Knee said...

never doubt my total devotion to stalking you, my little infidel

Bee said...

Andy seems so relaxed today. Maybe that's why he doesn't want to have kids, you know, to avoid shopping on Mother's day.

HAPPY HAWT MOMMA'S DAY YOU INFIDEL!

Hilary said...

Mother's Day sox would have been so much more appropriate...

Happy Day :)

glittersmama said...

Wouldn't pale yellow Q-tips just look used? I'm just sayin.

Happy Mother's Day!

aubrey said...

well, at least she got q-tips.

i had to help ava and max make my own mother's day gift last week in primary. then feign surprise when they presented it to me after church today. nothing from paul. but, ya know. it's okay. there are other things that are more important.

aubrey said...

happy mother's day, elastic!

Tracy said...

Happy Mothers Day to you!
My oldest brought her mothers day gift home on Thursday, it was flowers they had started from seeds in a coffee can. I wasn't allowed to see it but she did ask me to find a nice sunny place for it and water it daily until she could give it to me on Mothers Day.
I was so surprised today when she gave it to me!

BarnGoddess said...

generic?!?!

even my husband knows to buy the NAME brand women's stuff.............geesh

Alice said...

Happy Mother's Day Elastic!

Hey It's Di said...

Happy Mother's Day! I have to admit that I have a small fetish with Q-tips. I start rolling my eyes and moaning and stuff when I have one in my ear. I don't care for the generic kind though. . I'm a purist like that:)

Stacey said...

Well to be fair,the yellow q-tip is the most elusive color.

Happy Mudder's Day to you!

Chell said...

Hee hee...its like that here aswell, really sad to watch! men will just never learn...

wynne said...

Y'know, to me, a "Happy Mother's Day" pumpkin makes perfect sense. After all, Mother's Day is the scariest day of the entire year: it's the day I have to reflect on the fact that, yes, I am indeed a mother, and that poor kid is STUCK WITH ME. Ahhh! It's like a horror movie, no?

Happy Mom Day to you, elastic!

Sketchy said...

I've come to the point where I just suggest and sometimes go out and choose the nice present I want for Mother's day. It helps me appreciate the little handmade cards and stuff??? so much more knowing I have a real present too.

jams o donnell said...

Mother's Day pumpkins... perhaps you could lobby for MD and Halloween to be combined... Err I'll stiop with that line of thought now!

I did nothing for my mum yesterday but then MD in the UK is in March. I showed my mum how much I loved her then by giving her booze,,,, well a couple of bottles of wine she particularly likes anyway!

Nancy Face said...

I told Kris Face I didn't want him to buy me anything for Mother's Day...and I meant it. All I wanted was a handmade card and for him to be in charge of the cooking and dishes all day. He delivered! :)

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

I got nothing for Mother's Day. :(

Except for really cute envelopes stuffed with crepe paper hearts from my sweetie pie, Melody.

Papi said I should be giving HIM gifts for MAKING me a Mother. Umm, whatever, Papi. That would be called Father's Day.

Carrot Jello said...

Happy Mother's Day. Happy birthday too, just in case I miss it.

VE said...

I gave my mom a potted plant, a rude funny card and didn't have her make me lunch during my visit. I'm so giving that way...

No Cool Story said...

So late!!
Happy Mama's Day :D

Millie said...

Nothing screams "THANKS FOR BIRTHIN MY BABIES" like pale yellow Q-tips. I hope she slapped him one.