I found this image of a plump orangey pumpkin all carved up and pretty in honor of Mother's Day totally amusing.
"Oh honey, a squishy Mother's Day pumpkin just for me? I raised such a thoughtful and wonderfully creative little angel. I'll be sure to remember this special, special gift when Christmas comes around. I hope I can get your pumpkin customized with a big Christmas present design cut-out right in the middle because that will indeed be your Christmas present."
I just returned from Wal-Mart. Dawn hadn't even broken and yet the store was filled with men bearing a desperate look in their eyes as they stumbled towards the card aisles only to find the Mother's Day section scavenged and picked nearly clean.
We saw one man putting together a few items in a lovely pastel floral gift bag. Included among the carefully selected items was a box of pale yellow Q-Tips and some mouthwash.
Nothing tells a woman how grateful you are for enduring 9 months of gestating your seed like personal hygiene products......and they were generic brand hygiene products at that!
I suppose the guy can be given points for originality in by-passing the pre-made gift baskets in order to make up his own.
Perhaps the wife is a closeted Q-Tip addict and the pale yellow-tinged Q-Tips are all she needs to make her rainbow Q-Tip collection complete.
I noticed some of the female employees wore gigantic smiles on their face as they watched the herd of crazed men scrambling around for something, anything to give to that special woman in their life on Mother's Day.
It's lucky that Wal-Mart doesn't sell these awesome Mother's Day pumpkins or some of you ladies would surely end up with one today for all your childbearing/child-rearing efforts.