I've got tags hanging off me. Yes, tags. Lots and lots of tags. I'm like a modern day Minnie Pearl, only much fatter and my dangling tags don't have prices stamped on them because they're skin tags.
I guess those guys who laboriously write out your name on a grain of rice could pen some numbers onto my skin tags but really I'd just rather remove them than even contemplate skin tag decorating ideas.
Now you know the heartbreaking truth. I suffer from the aesthetic agony that is excessive skin tags. I'm too young to have so many skin tags. Sure, I just referenced Minnie Pearl and I have wild fantasies involving hottie Fred McMurray from My Three Sons, but I'm still young, dammit!
I know what you're saying to yourself right now as you stampede away from me, my blog, and my flawed skin, SKIN TAGS?!!?? Oh nooooeeesssss. Just know this: I'm taking care of the problem all on my own.
I started playing Tag by myself last week. Yeah, Solitary Tag...... Like that song Neil Diamond sang, "I'll be what I am, playing Solitary Tag. Solitary Tag." Wait, maybe that was 'Solitary Man' but I'm sure that Solitary Tag is what Neil meant. I bet he too suffers from haggy-baggy skin tags.
Soooo, just how do you play Solitary Tag? Well, it involves steely determination and a really good pair of tweezers.
I've given birth completely unassisted in the bath tub of my own home. I figure that gives me enough cojone power to conquer almost any obstacle.
I squeezed the nasty little skin bugger until it finally surrendered. It gasped its last breath and a few days later the detestable skin tag fell off my face and more importantly off the face of the earth, too.
I couldn't even find it to display in a graphic but tastefully done scrapbooking layout. It was just gone. I don't believe in skin tag reincarnation, either. Well, unless that pimple on my butt is really the reincarnated skin tag from my face! Ewwwww (I saved you the trouble from having to say it yourself)
I'm looking into having my trusty sidekick, Senor Tweezers, immortalized in bronze and mounted on a special plaque for the willingness to go above and beyond the call of tweezer duty in order to annihilate the enemy.