Thursday, July 24, 2008

I'm Still Dressing The Same Way I Did In The 80's.......My "Look" Was Inspired By Revenge Of The Nerds

Okay, every Sunday I thumb through the glossy newspaper ad supplements from the various stores. Lately I've noticed a disturbing trend emerging that confirms my hypothesis that the American fashion merchants are launching a conspiratorial plot to unload all the 70's crap they didn't sell the first time around.
You, as a consumer, have the power to stand against such tyrranical clothing evil. Just say NO! to gauzy peasant blouses, ultra cameltoe-inducing gaucho pants, halter-styled jumpsuits, tab collars, cork-wedge platform sandals, and polyester tops with gaudy patterns on it.
Listen, us Infidels have been listening to a lot of Euro music lately and the accompanying videos show a starkly different trend spreading across Europe. From the skinny ties, colored belts, suspenders, and striped T-shirts with colored blazers it's obvious that they're embracing all things circa 1983.
They're bringing 80's back......yeah! So if you suddenly get a hankering for something retro, make sure you set your closet time machine to bypass the 70's era completely.

The oldest mini-Infidel daughters find themselves completely enamored by this group from Denmark called Alphabeat. Think of a Scandinavian version of a Disney High School Musical production with upbeat song material and backed by an unstoppably perky band: That's Alphabeat. The paired boy/girl lead singers ooze super adorability and charm. They're also both too young to have lived the 80's experience. Yet all their videos show that unmistakeable 80's vibe going on.
ALPHABEAT- FASCINATION 3:02

We're also really loving an English band called Black Kids. They're sporting the patented Mr. Rogers pullover cardigan style and belted jumper dresses along with a distinct New Wave-ish sound. One word of caution: casually telling people that you're listening to "The Black Kids" might lead them to some interesting assumptions about you and your racial viewpoints.
BLACK KIDS- I'M NOT GONNA TEACH YOUR BOYFRIEND HOW TO DANCE WITH YOU 3:39

Our favorite Black Kids song!
BLACK KIDS- LOOK AT ME WHEN I ROCK WHICHOO 4:12

As if I needed more evidence to add to my case that the 80's will rise again-check out the Swatch watch knockoffs I scored at Walgreens Drug Store for $2.99. The picture on the left shows my broken, crumbling Swatch watches that cost a hefty $35-50 bucks back in the Swatch heyday. Now look at the Walgreens watches. Do you see much of a difference aside from the huge pricing gap? Nope, neither do I.

You know what time it is? It's 80's time, fool! The store ads may be full of models wearing clothing that appears as though it's straight from the Sonny & Cher collection, but I believe that most consumers are going to shun that and adopt the mantra, "It's 2008 and we think the 80's are great!"
So, Izod Lacoste is back. Checkered Vans are back. Leggings under mini-skirts are back. It's only a matter of time before we're wearing the doofy vest look again with our layered socks while showing off our Steve Perry-inspired mullet hair.

(We're also grooving Infidel-style to this group called Morandi. Apparently, they're the preeminent Romanian pop/techno sound of the moment. Anyway, I swear to you when I saw THIS VIDEO all I could think of was the possible but remote theory that George and Andrew dropped a few love children when touring Romania back in the 80's because these two guys from Morandi are freakin WHAM! incarnate.)

30 comments:

Hilary said...

I'm pretty sure I slept through the 80's or something. I honesty remember very little from that time except for some of the hairstyles and clothes.. and those, I'd rather forget.

Mad Libs Millie said...

I had an 80s-inspired dream last night - how weird.

The name "Alphabeat" bugs me, like it's a cheap knock-off of "Schoolhouse Rock." "We'll play lame music and TEACH stuff!"

Geosomin said...

I was out in a club the other night (oh my swinging lifestyle) and all the young things had legwarmes and clothes with rips and zippers...and off the shoulder sweaters. One giorl was waearing what I thought was my coolest sweater dress and leggings and legwarmers when I was in high school in the 80s.
Dear god...haven't they learned. it was horribly tacky when *we* did it.

Maybe I'm jsut old enough that I don't "get it" anymore. I've actually started to snicker out loud at outfits I've seen downtown lately...I'm sure I"m going to get smacked soon :)

Elizabeth-W said...

What's fun about 80s clothes when you're 15 is that you didn't wear them before. It's like playing dress up from you mom's high school year book.
I really liked that alphabeat group. Very cute. Are all their songs so perky or was that a trick to get old biddies like me to buy their record/8 track/oh what's that new-fangled thing called??

glittersmama said...

I love that you and your infidels have gone all Euro with your music!

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

elizabeth- Alphabeat are cute throughout all their songs/videos. Look for their song called "10,000 Nights Of Thunder." They actually reference Wuthering Heights. My oldest was so intrigued that she read the book just to know what they were talking about. :) Alphabeat is on tour with our other favorite, ROYWORLD. jams odonnell was kind enough to ship both their CD's to us since we can't buy them here. I can't wait for them to get here! He's the nicest guy. He did totally on his own volition without me even asking him and he mailed it before going on his holiday to Ireland.

glittersmama- We've moved up from white trash to Euro trash!

geosomin- Remember layering T-shirts and rolling up the sleeves and pegging your jeans? I've seen all that recently on high school kids. :0 I'm waiting for the hypercolor stuff to come back. That was awesome. Remember having nasty guys trying to "imprint" their hands across your boobs to make the color show up? I do.

Millie- I'm bringing Alphabeat to Oregon. You will be indoctrinated in your sleep.

Hillary- I still have clothes from the 80's that my kids are wearing now. I am so decrepit.

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

I'm supposed to be working right now. However, after getting rained on all night, I'm taking a break. Hurricane Dolly has been downsized into a Tropical Storm but we're still getting fierce rainshowers and thunderstorms here in H-Town. I have to leave to go work all day in it. Crap. No white T-shirt for me today.

Now that my lawn is watered and nice I hope the HOA will finally get off my back and stop sending letters that claim my lawn is "unattractive."

Science Teacher Mommy said...

I'm way less concerned with the 70's junk they are unloading (this has been going on for a while--wide leg jeans came back over a decade ago), it is the 80's stuff that seems to be in now: aren't skinny jeans just pegged jeans without the zipper to the armpits? And what about lace edged footless tights under skirts? Or shorts? Can you say Madonna? It all starts with a little lace . . .

Melissa said...

No no no! Please don't bring the 80's back! I live in a warm place and wearing two pairs of socks will never work for me! 80's was about layers... lots and lots of layers... I just can't do it!

J-Mom said...

That Alphabeat is overly catchy, I had that tune from Sunbum's site stuck in my head forever!

The 70's that came back had a different twist on it, I am curious how in the world are they going to twist some of those embarrassing fashion statements we did in the 80s.

Will hair get bigger? (can it get bigger than the 80s?)

That video was much better than Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go!

J-Mom said...

Keep safe in your T-storms!

omar said...

I want for Skidz pants to come back in style. I've been waiting twenty years to break those bad boys out of my closet.

Stephanie and Co. said...

I still have a "shirt tail holder" thingy. You know those circle things that you put on the side of oversize shirts you made with puffy paint and they spun around on some big wheel to splatter it. Oh yeah! I was hot.

Annie said...

Who couldn't use Mo' Randi?!

Rhonda said...

Do they still make Swatch watches? Do kids think they are cool or have they been downgraded to Timex status?

David said...

I just stumbled upon your blog. What a gem, a hoot and a holler.
You have a gift and I am so happy to stumble upon it.
I am over the top laughing, and wanted to thank you!
I am hooked

David

Hey It's Di said...

I swear I'm holding on to some priceless gems I kept from the 80s. That was the GREATEST time for me (and that indicates my age:)

I took my daughter shopping the other day and was giddy with joy at all of the 80s style clothing and bright colors everywhere. I'm wondering when they will break out the parachute pants? GO 80s!

Hey It's Di said...

Sorry it's storming there. Hope you don't get swept away!

Maybe you should try working in the white t-shirt during the storm. It may just keep the crabby customers from freaking over 2 minute delays and such:)

Mindi said...

i wanted a swatch soooooo bad, but the madre wasn't so into paying the 40 dollar price. she finally was guilted into buying me one for xmas, but i always remember the shame of only having ONE swatch on at the thompson twins concert in vegas 1986 and my friend had 4.....

oh, the humanity!

Sketchy said...

I'm scared to go back to school shopping with my daughter. TERRIFIED of the horizontal, turquoise striped, oversized shirts designed to wear with leggings.

Have we learned nothing???

But I think I will go to Walgreens to see if I can score some of those watches.

Suzanne said...

Yay!!! I LOVE the 80's! O.k. mostly the music, but there were some fun fashions back then. Yeah, and a lot of terrible ones too. Good thing we can pick and choose!

And Swatch watches were $30-50??? No wonder I never had one... :D

Jami said...

A few months ago I was at the library and a cute little boy, maybe fifteen, had this HUGE mohawk, dyed pink and green. And I was just tickled. I felt like a teenager again. He would have been appalled to hear my thoughts. "How CUTE" was probably not the reaction he was going for.

Lori said...

HEY! There are elements of the 70's I totally approve of! LOL And some I don't. But there are way more that I don't of the 80's! lol I'm guessing it's the age gap.

They've always said, forever and ever, that if you keep something long enough, it will eventually come back into style. They are soooooooo right!

P.S. The watches are really cute!

the Bag Lady said...

Ummm, does this mean I'll be back in style again? (You know you're getting old when.....)

Palm Springs Savant said...

Honestly, I'm not much better, I'm still stuck in the 80's. Whew it can be scary at times.

Bee said...

I'm hitting my Walgreen's tomorrow to see if I can score some radicus knockoffs! The look tubular dude!

Nancy Face said...

The 80's are coming back? OH, NOOO! Please say it isn't so! :0

Nancy Face said...

But I DO like those fake Swatch watches! :)

Nancy Face said...

You described Alphabeat perfectly! Upbeat. Perky. Adorable. :)

Nancy Face said...

This comment is about nothing.

I just wanted to make it a nice, even 30 comments, because I'm weird that way.