Saturday, July 05, 2008

We Saw The Incredible Hulk At The Dollar Store....And Boy, Did He Look Cheesed Off!

I always heard it speculated that the number one rule for managing The Incredible Hulk was: "DON'T MAKE HIM ANGRY." So why then would they cross-promotion this rippling green mass of fury with foofy bows meant to adorn presents?
If you notice, the corkscrew strands of ribbon identically match The Hulk's own skin and hair color. Hey, maybe that's not even ribbon after all! I mean, think about it, it is curly and it is green- that could very well be Hulk pubes out on display. No wonder the guy is so irritable- you would be too if someone was harvesting your curly dainties to make into bows.

We found Hulk hanging out in an undignified locale next to the likes of Dora La Pedora and frilly pink Pretty Princess bows. My son Buster used to be a huge Hulk fan but even he couldn't hide his disappointment and rage at Hulk's sellout. Buster has green eyes too, you know, and you don't want to make him angry, either!

Luckily for us, we were within arm's reach of an emergency Beef Jerky bag. That's the secret weapon to quelling the furious storm that occasionally brews up within Buster.

Back in my day we didn't have this wussified superhero product endorsement. Nope. Our superheroes championed awesome stuff designed to make us stronger like non-flame retardant pajamas and toys held together with nothing but poisonous lead paint.......and gosh darnit, we LIKED it! With the Hulkster now brazenly hawking resplendent gift-wrapping bows, I'm sure that a line of Incredible Hulk skin cream and lacy lingerie can't be too far behind.....

11 comments:

Jay said...

ROFL!! That's hilarious! 'Emergency beef jerky bag!' I nearly spooted my coffee! LOL!

jams o donnell said...

Haha Emergency beef Jerky bag! I love it. The look on Buster's face makes me think he's about to turn green and angry in sympathy.

The only product the Hulk should endorse is ultra stretch underwear.. It wouldn't do for a big green monster to show his little green monster....

Jean Knee said...

oh that pansy assed sell out hulk!

J-Mom said...

What happened to Hulk lawn darts?

Bee said...

Your sons eyes are gorgeous!!

Physcokity said...

Maybe the Hulk should hook it up with the Green Lantern who's weakness is (drumroll please)...Jewelry!?!?!?!?!

That would be a lethal combo almost no woman could resist...

Hot Air said...

Speaking of Superheroes

So thaaaaat's what you call 'em. Next time one of my kids catches me unawares just out of the shower, I'll have a more delicate, age-appropriate response. Thank you, Infidel Lady. Saving the average household awkward moment, one blog reader at a time.

Nancy Face said...

You crack me up! HAHAHAHA! :D

Nancy Face said...

I keep a huge supply of curling ribbon in all colors, and I like making big fluffy "curl swirl" bows to spiff up otherwise bland packages.

Now I'll always think of them as pubes! EW! :0

April said...

Dollar store For the WIN!!! They have so really RANDOM stuff there... Once I saw a board book for young children named "words that rhyme with duck!"

Mmmmm... niiiiice. I think some of these people that make these things are on crack!

Millie said...

You have cute kids.

(How's that for a generic comment)