Friday, July 11, 2008

Wow, My Dreams Are Bigger Than Even My Gargantuan Rear End.....

This morning, as I arrived at the warehouse where I work during the blackness of the eerily quiet predawn hours, I couldn't help but glance around and notice several teen boys milling about, helping their fathers.
Yes, I mentally noted each of the teens' youthful bronzed skin and lustrous black curly hair owed to their Spanish ancestry-- and then a lofty and unexpected idea formed in my mind........with portly Lou Pearlman out of the way and in jail I could totally become the next boy band creator/guru this world so desperately needs.

Holy wow, I'm going to be RICH!
I'm envisioning kind of a Menudo boy band of old paired with a Jonas Brother sound of today. I want to overhaul these mop-topped teens and turn them into a kind of Mexican Jonas Brothers trio! First, I need to know if the sons of my co-workers are willing and able to learn to perform the Jonas Brother song catalogue in Spanish.
In my mind, my little imaginary Telemundo announcer is going crazy and screaming out in his deeply exaggerated voice, "Los Hermanos Jonas(Ho-Nas) en vivo a todos Fiesta supermercados!!!!Yaaaa!" (My Spanish sucks. Forgive me.)
Today I'm going to see if I can take out a small business loan. I hope they'll give me the money even when I tell them that I need it to buy tight and shiny metallic pants and matching leather shirts for my new boy band.
The next order of business is to draw up documents giving me 50 percent of all the boy band's future earnings.....and then getting the boys to sign it without reading it.
My 10 year old son, Buster practices his rap skills daily courtesy of Christian Rock hip-hop guy, Toby Mac. Buster has expressed interest in being that token rap guy who always jumps into the middle of a pop song with no warning and breaks it down. He already has a BLING chain that I bought him from the vending machine at Kroger's. I also have 4 daughters that with a nice pair of vinyl go-go boots would make great back-up singers.
The Mexican Jonas Brothers........I don't know. My sleep-starved brain works in very mysterious and devious ways. This all seemed like such a plausible and fantastic idea before I took a nap.

22 comments:

the Bag Lady said...

Sounds like a great idea...maybe I need a nap, too....

Manager Mom said...

All right. A sound business plan. But wouldn't it be much more fun just to assemble that nice young group of beautifully androgynous boys and MAKE THEM YOUR PERSONAL PLAYTHINGS? As long as they're technically above the age of consent in whatever state they come from. I'm just sayin.

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

No. I'm only about the money. Business before pleasure. Besides, I'm not a perv and only hot guys over the age of 30 get a second glance from me.
(The Menudo boys would get a second glance but only so I could fully take in the ridiculousness of their outfits and have a laugh at their expense)

Melissa said...

Well, as long as you're only in it for the money, I say go for it. Because, like you said, the world needs another boy band!

Geosomin said...

Those shiny pants are just not right. Noone should wear pants that shiney.

ON the upside tho - having a good MC "in the house" is a great start. May I suggest that Buster only break it down if he does it old school? It would be the shizzle fa sure.

Oh...and wear bling.

Hmmm...I'm warming to this idea the more i think about it...I *am* tired :)

omar said...

"Buster has expressed interest in being that token rap guy who always jumps into the middle of a pop song with no warning and breaks it down."

That one made me laugh. AUDIBLY. That almost never happens!

Alice said...

I'm willing to buy the pants if I can get in on that 50% of future earnings.

J-Mom said...

Dressing up kids & making them sing addictive, catchy, annoying tunes all for making a buck----sounds good to me.

JustRandi said...

Are you kidding? They'll give you the money BECAUSE you need it to buy tight and shiny metallic pants and matching leather shirts for your new boy band.
You might not even have to say that "boy band" part at the end!

b. said...

I'll give you money if you'll make the Honas Brothers just go away!!

Seriously.

Jean Knee said...

oh yeah, leather pants suck. did you see how Ross couldn't get his britches back up while on a date? bet he's never reproducing

Hey It's Di said...

It's all about the money honey. I say it still sounds good. Go for it!

Nancy Face said...

Wow! Those tight and shiny metallic pants are really something!

Nancy Face said...

...getting the boys to sign it without reading it...hahaha! :D

No Cool Story said...

Chicos Banda.

I'll take 1%
You are welcome.

No Cool Story said...

I was here last night.
I just didn't know what to say.

(Apparently I still don't)

MDO!!

jams o donnell said...

Err I can't get over those metallic pants., I'm speechless!

b. said...

Ok, the link that Coolio linked to (whoaretheseguys.blogspot.com) HAVE to be these kids' dads, right?

(I'm pretty sure that none of my grammar and punctuation is correct in the preceding sentence...oh, well!)

Physcokity said...

How fair is that? A guy has trouble growing a stache and I've got a five oclock shadow by 10 am!?!?!

Physcokity said...

"Dressing up kids & making them sing addictive, catchy, annoying tunes..." Meh they do it anyway. Why not make a dollar?

Anonymous said...

The New York Liberty have announced a free fan festival on the day of the Outdoor Classic game on Saturday, July 19th for all ticket holders by Epic Record's hot group, MENUDO!
Learn more about the free concert right here:
http://www.wnba.com/liberty/news/menudoLOCannouncement.html.
Reminder: It’s time to get tickets for New York Liberty’s history-breaking “Liberty Outdoor Classic" (which will be the FIRST regular season outdoor game in professional basketball history)! A trailer for the event can now be viewed here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yh_3IQ6aN3k

wynne said...

...huh? did you just get visited by a robot searching for "Menudo + boy bands" ?

And I don't think you need to take out a loan to get the shiny articles of clothing. Simply wait until October and hit the dollar store.