This morning, as I arrived at the warehouse where I work during the blackness of the eerily quiet predawn hours, I couldn't help but glance around and notice several teen boys milling about, helping their fathers.
Yes, I mentally noted each of the teens' youthful bronzed skin and lustrous black curly hair owed to their Spanish ancestry-- and then a lofty and unexpected idea formed in my mind........with portly Lou Pearlman out of the way and in jail I could totally become the next boy band creator/guru this world so desperately needs.
Holy wow, I'm going to be RICH!
I'm envisioning kind of a Menudo boy band of old paired with a Jonas Brother sound of today. I want to overhaul these mop-topped teens and turn them into a kind of Mexican Jonas Brothers trio! First, I need to know if the sons of my co-workers are willing and able to learn to perform the Jonas Brother song catalogue in Spanish.
In my mind, my little imaginary Telemundo announcer is going crazy and screaming out in his deeply exaggerated voice, "Los Hermanos Jonas(Ho-Nas) en vivo a todos Fiesta supermercados!!!!Yaaaa!" (My Spanish sucks. Forgive me.)
Today I'm going to see if I can take out a small business loan. I hope they'll give me the money even when I tell them that I need it to buy tight and shiny metallic pants and matching leather shirts for my new boy band.
The next order of business is to draw up documents giving me 50 percent of all the boy band's future earnings.....and then getting the boys to sign it without reading it.
My 10 year old son, Buster practices his rap skills daily courtesy of Christian Rock hip-hop guy, Toby Mac. Buster has expressed interest in being that token rap guy who always jumps into the middle of a pop song with no warning and breaks it down. He already has a BLING chain that I bought him from the vending machine at Kroger's. I also have 4 daughters that with a nice pair of vinyl go-go boots would make great back-up singers.
The Mexican Jonas Brothers........I don't know. My sleep-starved brain works in very mysterious and devious ways. This all seemed like such a plausible and fantastic idea before I took a nap.