Tuesday, August 19, 2008

I Spent 3 Bucks On Some Old Bread Yesterday........And It Was Absolutely Delicious!

Behold the power of a few slices of mighty, mighty white Bread! I used to think that Bread was stale and on a one-way course to the depths of the crusty crouton drawer. Lately, though, I've rediscovered just how healthy a nice serving of cheese dished out by Bread can be.

Sure Bread may not be the appetizer of choice on every iPod listener's menu, but they fill up my ears as well as my soul..........this is the only kind of Bread recommended for those on The Atkins Diet.

I've been fighting an unseen elevator music force for two years now. Wherever I roam, Bread's song, "Everything I Own" follows me. It's gotten to a point that my mini-Infidels know all the words. After the initial shock of being stalked by a seemingly innocuous Bread song, they now giggle as I enter a store and inevitably "Everything I Own" ALWAYS begins emitting down from the overhead speakers. I've even heard it blaring from my phone as I've sat on hold. What can I do? I just decided to surrender myself to that song and download it for myself. There must be some kind of hidden message in it that the Universe is trying to get through to me.

Three Dollars Bought Me Three Tasty Bread Loaves:
Everything I Own
Goodbye Girl
It Don't Matter To Me

(I tried to waggle my eyebrows suggestively at Papi while softly whispering, "I Want To Make It With You." He didn't get it. I wonder if Bread ever recorded in Spanish back in the 70's like ABBA did?)

45 comments:

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

Sorry if I haven't been to your blog. I was deathly sick for the past week and that combined with working about killed me.

I keep flirting with the idea of quitting blogging but I always come back eventually for more......

wynne said...

Hey--I thought I was going to be FIRST here. Why did you steal my glory, oh mighty elastic? Why? (I have so little of that in my life...)

wynne said...

And...hmm...I had no idea that bread could sing. Seriously? A band named "Bread"? Is there a band out there named "Butter" somewhere? If they got together for a charity concert, who else would they invite to perform? Pearl Jam?

wynne said...

I guess they could have Cake, there, too. And Red Hot Chili Peppers, for some spice...they could wash it down with some Cream and then...er...a little Meatloaf?

Mindi said...

bread TOTALLY reminds me of when i was 18 and working at the city swimming pool--we had an old hippie who managed it and made us listen to it for the whole evening shift- six to nine--i hated at first, then accepted, then EMBRACED!! ahhhhh, memories.

i loved that song that ends "then you and IIIIIIIIIII, will simply fly away....." {sigh}

wynne said...

I'm running out here...but I know there has to be more.

Cranberries!

I bet there are more, but I can't think of them.

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

If Bread ever got cut up in a knife fight they'd be the greatest thing.....you know since they'd be sliced Bread!

wynne said...

...unless, of course, R.E.M. stands for "rancid edible mice"...

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

How about Cracker? Doesn't White Bread go with the white boys from Cracker?

wynne said...

Okay--so what happens if they get a guy in the group who is something other than WHITE?

Could they be wheat bread, then?

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

There's an English group called The Jam. That would make a delicious sounding tour.

Bread and Jam Live And In Concert!

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

Pumpernickel Bread and his amazing White Bread band.

wynne said...

Cracker and The Jam...I KNEW there were more.

Glad you're feeling better, elastic!

(You are feeling better, aren't you?)

wynne said...

And what would you have to do to Bread to make them into Toast?

Hilary said...

Ack EWBL, I hope you're all well now.

Wynne is totally cracking me up. Don't forget Meatloaf, Cream, Red Hot Chile Peppers...

... and the ever-popular Bread Zeppelin. ;)

aubrey said...

elastic, how could you have had a healthy dose of bread without some AUBREY? i am feeling very neglected. and pouty.

glittersmama said...

I miss my elastic.

Physcokity said...

Don't forget about the [C]orn! And in order for Bread to become Toast it has to get hot or is that HAWT?

Suburban Hippie said...

It's like that Miley Cirus song - you don't want to like it bacause it's Miley Cirus but then you catch yourself singing it... DOH!

Science Teacher Mommy said...

In my college days we listened to "Everything I Own" on tape about 14 times a day. Thanks for the memory; I just downloaded it.

NOBODY said...

I really did discover Bread the same time I discovered Meatloaf. There was Bread giving up anything they own, giving up their life, their heart, their home and then Meatloaf, willing to anything for love, except that.

You can believe I had some skewed perceptions about love.

And posessions.

NOBODY said...

At Thanksgiving we like listening to Korn and The Cranberries, with our Bread.

NOBODY said...

And if I'm in charge of the Bread, we're likely to be listening to Limp Biskit as well.

Just sayin.

aubrey said...

i am ROFL. sorry, elastic. but i am. limp biskit, ha ha.

VE said...

I am a walking 70s music disaster. From Aubrey to If to Freedom to Guitar Man to Diary to all the ones you mentioned. I have them all. Just don't tell anyone...

b. said...

"I found her diary underneath a tree, and started reading about me..."
That one follows me around.

I LOVE BREAD!
Great for my ears, just not for my arse.

Heffalump said...

Ah, the childhood memories of Bread. I never would have heard of Bread if not for my parents.

Elastic, I really think you should have some Black Eyed Peas along with your Bread and Meatloaf.

Millie said...

Smashing Pumpkins! OK, good, I thought of one.

Baby, I'm-a want you...

Bee said...

Don't yell at me but I don't believe I've ever heard a song from Bread.

I hope you're feelin' better!

Yvonne said...

Oh, I love when people blog about groups I actually know something about. It makes me feel so good ; ) I could even sing all of those songs--well, let's just say, I know the words--singing is an entirely different matter, isn't it???

Alice said...

I just went crazy on iTunes myself. I needed some harder hitting stuff to get me in the mood to face 150 surly teens. I make it so loud on the way to school now that my car shakes like the people who annoy me with thumping bass.

Carrot Jello said...

I Want To Make It With You?

I don't get it.

Hey It's Di said...

Oh, I love Bread. I love it anytime of day. In fact, I would rather have some good bread that just about anything except Diet Coke of course and er. . . Oh, were you talking music?

I have to say that I don't mind Bread so much but HATE Meatloaf. My husband LOVES it and will listen to it 24/7 just to annoy me thus furthering my hate.

Hey It's Di said...

I hope you are feeling better. Maybe if you hadn't been off partying and showing off your Birthday suit you wouldn't be sick huh? Did you ever think of that?

Keep smiling!

J-Mom said...

Sorry to hear you've been sick. That stinks, hope you're feeling better.

I find it very interesting that you have been haunted by elevator bread.

You can wash down all that bread, meatloaf, limp biskit & cranberries down with some ICE-T, if you don't drink T then some Vanilla Ice should do fine!

Nancy Face said...

Oh, NOOO!!! I'm so sorry you've been sick! I figured you were just tired from the trip and the laundry and work...

Who knew you were sick AND tired? :(

Nancy Face said...

I love Bread! I've loved Bread ever since I was in 5th grade and learned all the words to most of their songs! I STILL know all the words to most of their songs, but I never get to hear them! :(

Lucky...

Jami said...

I've missed you. Please don't disappear, then I'd REALLY miss you.

I apparently hit refresh instead of publish comment the other day, but my intentions were good.

I totally love gooey 60s/70s/80s music. Not that I'd ever admit it in person, but hey it's blogland, time to bare one's soul. Or bear one's Muzak. Whatever.

Sorry you were sick. Hope you feel better. In every respect.

joanna said...

I am laughing so hard right now.

I don't remember the song but I'm sure I would recognize it. I'm going to look it up on cdnow.com.

Hey It's Di said...

Although you are most likely suffering from "I'm the coolest blogger and I have too many awards" syndrome, I still gave you some MORE awards. Yeah, no kidding. I really did. Come check them out!...or not. Maybe your bedroom could use just one more award on that shelf?

Lisa said...

I love these Bread songs, but my very favoritest is Goodbye Girl and I didn't remember who sang it. I had this record and would sing it at the top of my lungs in my room. Good memory. Thanks!

Lisa said...

Hope you are feeling better!

Simone said...

I was hesistant to comment since I think with 42 comments, you've got enough nachos coming your way, but I felt I must.

About 8 years ago, my mum, husband and I went to see Culture Club and they did their cover of "Everything I Own". I liked the cover but my husband expressed his dislike for Bread. Since I didn't have a strong opinion on the matter, I let this opinion reign. Within the last month, after hearing "Baby I'm A Want You" (is that even the title?) and a few other gems and I soon came to my realisation. "I've just realised I like Bread," I said. "NO!" was the answer. He then went on to list a bunch of songs for verification on my commitment to Bread and I liked all but one. Your blog has inspired me to get cracking on my new love. They will be going on my iPod along with Doris Day and Atari Teenage Riot.

jams o donnell said...

I hope you're feeling better EWBL. Blooging is a drug, eh?

Jean Knee said...

that eighties, Don't you want me baby songfollows me everywhere (or maybe I'm just listeniong to ther same station too much)
Lean knows all the words too.