Tuesday, August 05, 2008

May The Saturated Fat Force Be With You!

If you've ever been remotely curious as to what happened to the original band of 70's era Star Wars geeks, don't worry. 
A paltry few of them actually escaped the dank recesses of their video game-filled Hobbit Holes in their parent's basement and went on to find gainful employment.
Lucky for Kroger's grocery stores and supremely lucky for the rest of humanity, these former George Lucas worshippers found a tailored career fit within the specialized Kroger's Generic Brands Naming Division.
Of course, the days of their youth spent endlessly imitating Master Yoda- swamp swami extraordinaire and model of what happens when a dehydrated kiwi suddenly gains the ability of speech- has inevitably spilled over into their job performance.
These guys have obviously been swatted about the head with a lightsaber a few too many times. (Probably by their wives when asked to put on a Princess Leia costume and neck shackles) Observe the name they chose to christen this knock-off brand of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter:
 
At least we can all be grateful that Kroger's didn't tap into the bevy of Star Trek groupies laying around in their butt-hugger Lycra Enterprise uniforms(those outfits are what caused the real Wrath Of Khan), otherwise we'd end up with product labels and names written solely in the Vulcan language.
According to this online Vulcan dictionary  Butter It's Not would be translated into: 
Rhombolian Qual Se Tu Ri?

Yeah. Although I'd like to assume that Mr. Spock would bypass such artery-clogging fakeries and throw his Vulcan Nation endorsement towards something more apropos like gigantic tubes of  Captain Kirk Crack Ointment- soothing hemorrhoidal cream relief!

21 comments:

Alice said...

ROFL! Forwarding this immediately to my husband who owns an "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" polo shirt.

His friend works at the lab where they mix that crap up.

Physcokity said...

"those outfits are what caused the real Wrath Of Khan"

BAHhahahahhahahahaah

Physcokity said...

Yoda could kick Capt. Kirk's butt ANY day of the week...blindfolded, AND no light saber. Yeah, the force rocks!

Science Teacher Mommy said...

Star WARS is so much cooler than Star TREK it isn't even funny. I know, because I was one of those geeks. Still am. One of my earliest memories is of going to see The Empire Strikes Back in the theatre. No, I do no work for Kroger. My children are aspiring Younglings and I love it.

Jay said...

Hahahahaha!! 'Butter it's not'!! LOL! Yes, must be a Star Wars fan working in that advertising agency, for sure!

I wondered where they all went. ;)

Millie said...

Clever it's not!

Appetizing it's not!

On my list of things to buy, it's not!

Keeping Kirk's hairpiece stuck on his head, it's not!

Good substitute for tanning oil, it's not!

(I could go on all day)

(^oo^) bad girl (^oo^) said...

Very fine......

Suburban Hippie said...

My brothers are still totally part of that tribe... they don't work at Krogers though... one is an engineer and the other translates computer languages and writes sci-fi novels and role-playing games... no I'm not joking.

Suburban Hippie said...

I'm sure either would love to see their wife dressed as the princess.

Lori said...

LMAO at the light saber to head comment!

LMAO at millie!!!

LMAO at what suburban hippie's siblings became as adults!!!!!

Palm Springs Savant said...

hee hee hee love this post. Oh and Yoda RULES.

Elizabeth-W said...

I'd dress as Princess L if I could get husband to dress as batman. (just saw dark knight last night and I'm still a bit woozy)

Millie said...

Ummmmmmmmmmmmm!!!

EWL got spammed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

VE said...

Of course you realize those 'margarines' are one molecule away from being called plastic...

Oh, and you are starring in my meme movie. Look for the post Thu 8/7. Try not to eat 24 hours prior to viewing...

Hey It's Di said...

Your brain amazes me to no end. I knew there was something seriously wrong with those "Trekies". Those lycra deals can really cause chaffing. Not that I would know.

Butter it's not sounds so appetizing. . .or not!

Nancy Face said...

Awww...you wrote a post about ME! I'm so touched! ;)

Nancy Face said...

I am a Star Wars geek.

Nancy Face said...

I have been a Trekkie ever since I was a kid.

Nancy Face said...

I made Luke and Leia costumes for myself and Kris Face. I even have the donut wig.

Nancy Face said...

I made Star Fleet uniforms for mi familia, complete with official communicator pins.

Nancy Face said...

I'm not even kidding.