Wednesday, September 17, 2008

The Smiling Infidel Family Versus Hurricane Ike

Thanks so much to all the very special-verrryyyy special-guest bloggers that have been standing proudly on the Smiling Infidel poop deck the past few days and navigating her through the choppiest of blog waters.

We are now on Day #5 with no sign of restored electricity in sight. Like Noah releasing a dove from the ark to seek out dry land, we keep tossing our sneakers that have been tied together up in the air, praying for it to find an intact power line to string themselves up on. So far, no good.

Out of sheer boredom, Papi and I are now gold star members in the Hurricane Club. It's kind of like the Mile High Club, except you get blown (around) more and leave behind a lot of damage and debris.

So, here's the post I was slaving away on last Friday moments before we lost power courtesy of Hurricane Ike:

It's nearly 11:00 at night. We're just a few hours away from the much ballyhooed arrival of Hurricane Ike.

The tempestuous gusts of tropical storm wind has really begun to increase as evidenced by the swaying of the pine trees surrounding us..........and the special brand of Houston "Trash Tumbleweeds" blowing down the now-empty residential street where the Infidel family resides.

So did you bring back that permission slip that I gave you? You're going to need it because I'm taking you on a picture-filled field trip into the heart of our Hurricane Ike Preparation Day. Hurry up, go forge your mom or dad's signature.

Come on, you know this isn't the first time you've ever done such a thing.

Observe our special assembly of The Rainbow Flashlight Coalition. We're a very diverse family that doesn't discriminate against flashlights regardless of color, size, or shape.

CRANK THIS, Souljah Boy! Thanks to my years spent honing my hand-cranking skills on the Championship Homemade Ice Cream circuit, cranking up out little Freeplay radio is a gripping but simple task.

It's Wednesday now. I'm not giving you an updated picture of my pantry because it's starting to look sad. Below is how it looked last Friday.
We've been eating our meals straight out of cans just so we don't have to wash out bowls and plates. We're sinking lower and lower down the scales of civilized society. I think we're now just one step away from eschewing the life of finger bowls and salad forks forever. However will we get invited to a Posh Spice Dinner Banquet now, I ask you??!!??

My water bill has erroneously read $700.00 for the month. I say erroneously. The water company says "NOT erroneously. Pay up." At least our bottled water only set me back around 15 bucks.

The oldest Infidel son, Buster, will henceforth be referred to as "The Little Water Drummer Boy."
Buster made sure our water drums were cleaned, filled, and ready to go. I'm hoping that our Homeowner's Association narc that keeps harassing us about weeds in the cracks of our driveway stops by so we can play a little dunking game with him using our large-enough-to-hide-a-man's-body water drums. Wouldn't that be so much fun??!?

The mighty Infidel truck found secure housing in our garage for the first time ever.
The Infidel spawn call it a "GAY-RAJ."
I sincerely hope that we never actually meet a gay guy named Raj because that might be a bit awkward.

*Special Thanks to our neighbor who has allowed us to run a line to his generator today. He thinks I'm using it to vacuum and cook. Right. I have priorities, people!*


Elizabeth-W said...

LOVE the license plate!!

glittersmama said...

My brother-in-law calls his garage the rob-raj. Yep, he's got a gay brother-in-law named rob.

I'm glad for your priorities.

Maddy said...

Hah! Priorities indeed! You kill me!

Seriously though, I'm so glad that you have more than survived because that awesome sense of humour is still blazing a trail.

Congrats to the water drummer boy too, you have a great crew.


Hey It's Di said...

Yeah for neighbors and borrowing stuff!!

I'm so glad that you have made it to the Gold star level of the Hurricane club! I'm jealous! Debris is so worth it right?

Can I just say that if a Hurricane came to Utah (snicker, snicker) my pantry is empty, I only have one red flashlight, my vehicles can't fit in my stuffed garage, and I may just have to resort to the toilet water. It would suck!

P.S. I snuck on the field trip without a permission slip! heeheehee! I'm sneaky like that!

Lisa said...

I was just on a Houston news web site and saw a posting for when power is going to be restored. Your zip code is in bad shape. I hope you are getting some food and your neighbors/friends are watching out for you!!

What a mess.

nikko said...

Wow. Glad that the infidel house has their priorities in order. Hopefully the power will be back on soon! Hang in there!

Melissa said...

Let us know if we need to start shipping supplies to you... well, I guess that's assuming that you're getting any mail... which, you might not be... hmm... well, I hope the power comes back on soon. If not, you can always make the trek west and crash at our pad for awhile! Yeah, I know... we're a little out of the way... but the offer still stands :)

Methodical wormer said...

So what do the shoes with the laces tied together on the electricity line really mean!?!?! It's been a life question of mine.

I'm glad you and your troops are all safe and sound.

Millie said...

Oh, I'm so glad you're back online for a second. It's great to see you!

What's the "Hurricane Club?"

I think Raj on "What's Happening!" was gay. That's how the gay-raj got its name. I kid you not.

OK, I kid you a little.

April said...

K if I EVER meat a guy named Raj I'm gunna totally bust up laughing... I'm sure he will think I'm a homophobe or something... little will he know!!! :D

Chell said...

Thats so scary! Whenever I see these terrible storms, hurricanes and earthquakes I am so thankful that living here means we dont get any of that. Touch wood. Am glad you are all ok though.

Jean Knee said...

still no electric mojo? that's starting to really suck

Brent Festige said...

You kill me!

Suzanne said...

I was going to ask how you were able to blog without power! Yay for neighbors willing to share their generators so we can see how you're doing!

I'm glad that you were prepared!!! I'm sure you make all the RS sisters proud! :)

I'm glad you made it through, Elastic! ***hugs***

No Cool Story said...

YAY for good neighbors!

The Rainbow Flashlight Coalition = Brilliant.

JustRandi said...

Remind me to send your neighbor some cookies. I bet he knows what cooking and vacuuming is code for!

aubrey said...

hooray for your nice neighbors to share their electricity with you!

Suburban Hippie said...

I like your variety of colorful vibrators.

Suburban Hippie said...
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