Thursday, September 18, 2008

We Came, We Saw, We Cooked It Up And Then We ATE It Up!

"The entire world may crumble down around us...........but we shall rise up and deflect the descending debris with our swollen, well-fed bellies."
-Elasticwaistbandlady 2008

"Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die."
-The Big Book Of Overused Expressions So Old They Fart Dust

For all the concerned people that wondered if we Infidels have enough to eat in the face of such calamitous conditions, the answer is.....YES!!!! Heck Yes! A whole YES World Tour filled with YES men and YES groupies! (even though I really only like that "Owner Of A Lonely Heart" song)

There's something you should understand: Food is/was/always will be my primary source of concern when it comes to preparing for conditions that may threaten the link between the Infidel family and our outside food sources.

I toiled away in the kitchen all day on Friday, like a proper Molly Mormon, in anticipation of Hurricane Ike. Yes, I was even barefoot.

Here's my sunny Sunbum loading caramel icing onto the hot rolls we scored at the 99 Cents Only Store.

What better way to send out an "S.O.S" than by making some hot, sloppy S.O.S. for dinner?

S.O.S= Sheet On A Shingle
Let's hear ABBA sing a song about that!
Actually, I could use some of that pasty sheet to hold down my roof shingles. They didn't fare so well in the face of 85 MPH winds.

I often cook big pots of chili and then look for cryptic hidden messages that brew up in the spicy tomato sauce.
It's like reading tea leaves or lazily gazing at the sky while pointing out giant peg-legged elephants you see hidden amongst fluffy white clouds.
In this pot I found one yellowish, demonic-looking eyeball and an arrow sign.
I need to find a chili pot message interpreter to tell me what this all means, S.T.A.T!

And on the first day of the storm, The Smiling Infidel created a pan of cornbread........and it was declared delicious by all who feasted upon it.

The mini-Infidels scoffed at me because when I heard that Houston would be shutting down in anticipation of the storm, I frantically called over to Mr. Gatti's and ordered four large pizzas with my $7.00 coupon.
Pizza makes for mucho bueno emergency food storage. Some like it hot. Some like it cold. Some like it in the pot nine days old.
That last group is a bunch of pizza-torturing weirdos. Stay far, far away from them.
The funny thing is that my Visiting Teacher stopped by with some homemade goodies to tide us over and then guess where her next stop was?
Go on. Guess.
Yes. She was going to stock up on pizzas to feed her houseful of teenage boys.
She's from New Zealand, but even New Zealanders know what to do in the event of a Hurricane/Cyclone. CALL FOR PIZZA!

We may have been out of work, but that don't mean we can't still make us some bread!

I cooked more stuff but I'm tired of uploading pictures.
Here's my Papi sprawled out on the Infidel Bed of Love featuring Semi/Sort Of/Used-To-Be White sheets.
He's undoubtedly inhaling the scentalicious aromas of all the many things I whipped up throughout the day, and dreaming that he somehow lucked out and won The Stepford Wives Sweepstakes!

*We're STILL Without Any Electricity. I Post-Dated This Yesterday For Today. Think Of It As An Emergency Infidel Blog Post Storage!*


Carrot Jello said...

Did Papi approve you posting that picture? You's gonna be in trouble. Kinda like that time you stunk up the bathroom...

Carrot Jello said..., that comment is not to be continued.

glittersmama said...

Wow. You're eating better than us, and we have electricity. It's cheese and crackers over here baby.

Now I need something else to eat.

nikko said...

Dude you rock. Look at all that yummy stuff you have going on there!

Physcokity said...

Um I think I might be braving Ike's wild fury if I could have the promise of a new bread...think the Paula Abdul song promise of a new day...yes I's crazy.

Melissa said...

Hmm... I wonder if I could apply this way of thinking for our emergencies here... we live in earthquake country... so I guess I could just bake tons of stuff every day just in case...

Millie said...

I'm all about the baking. Everyone who came to Enrichment Night was impressed with your cooking, baking, and laundering-everything-in-the-nick-of-time prowess. It was all stuff I could tell they had never thought of. I'd never thought of it either.

I need your chili recipe. Does it have meat in it? I see the arrow but not the eyeball.

My hat is off to you. Even in times of crisis, there's always something cooking at your house.

Stephanie and Co. said...

Save me a piece of cornbread, I'm coming to visit! (Just for the bread and the lack of electricity excitement)
Good job on your blog storage. Never know when you'll need some of that.

Hey It's Di said...

Wow! You eat better in a storm and chaos than we do any day of the week! Go cooking lady!!

I'm all about having food and plenty of it when there is a crisis, a party, a funeral, a wedding and bad mood a good mood and really anytime is food time for me. Thus my extra padding:)

Sketchy said...

Well at least you have yummy food to eat...and wall paper, lots of wall paper.

I had never thought to consider the joy of pizza for food emergency situations...good tip that one. Well, that's not entirely true, I have had pizza emergency, but not ones that have occurred without "I will kill one of these demon spawns you call children if you do not pick up pizza on your way home from work..." conversations.

Mindi said...


glad you are still alive!

Millie said...

I was wondering if you wanted another four-year-old. I'll FedEx her in the morning.

aubrey said...

you are superwoman, elastic. all that food looks delicioso. glad you all are safe, sucks about no electricity!

Elizabeth-W said...

Sending you cooler weather, lower humidity thoughts!

Jennifer B. said...

So impressive! Hope your power is restored soon.

Jay said...

You're still without power? Oh no!!! Thank heavens for the caramel iced buns!!

I'm very impressed with your culinary tour-de-force, but ..

"In this pot I found one yellowish, demonic-looking eyeball and an arrow sign"

Did you ever get help with that, or are you still running round the kitchen screaming 'Aaahh! The Eyeball! The terrible Eyeball!!!'?


Suzanne said...

You are Molly Mormon!!! Except isn't it supposed to PREGNANT and barefoot in the kitchen?? ;D Kidding...

"An Emergency Infidel Blog Post Storage!" It looks like you were prepared in more ways than one.

And you are definitely prepared to splash in the puddles with your basket of flip flops on the dresser. Yes, that's right I noticed because I'm nosy like that! :)

Ringmaster said...

I would love to leave a comment, but I need to go find someone to bake me some bread, and buy me some pizza!!

J-Mom said...

I never thought of having an emergency blog----duh!!! Well, that explains why I have a sad, neglected blog.

Love the cooking!

Here's to your electricity coming back soon!

Suburban Hippie said...

I knew you wouldn't let us down on the food front... your always cooking up something good.