So, what does one do to pass the time when suddenly thrust into a primitive world devoid of modern technology?
I don't know if EVERYBODY was Kung-Fu fighting, but my mini-Infidels sure were. Why yes, their moves are as fast as lightning when they move with expert timing.
Right about now, Master Jason wishes he'd devised a way to hook up his students to a converter that would at least harness enough butt-kicking energy to power the A/C and a few fans.
Spaghettios........they're not just part of your completely crappy dinner anymore! Stef Knee busied herself making profoundly enlightening Spaghettio People art. Here she is with the masterpiece she calls "A Portrait Of Limbless Spaghettio Siamese Twins And Their Pet Pig Whom They Can't Actually Pet Because They Don't Have Arms."
Our neighbor has a lime tree with heavy fruit-laden branches that hang down into our yard. Reagan, the crotch-sniffing wonder dog, likes to play ball with the limes before devouring them. He's one third of the way towards becoming a doggy alcoholic. He's got the limes but hasn't fetched any salt or Jose Cuervo to go with it just yet.
Reagan also enjoys putting his paws on our shoulders while prancing around on his hind legs. He usually couples that with simultaneously chewing on his latest lime conquest.
We call it "Texas Lime Dancing."
We thought it only fair to give ample warning to any crusty criminals skulking about our property. Although we didn't have electricity to operate our home security system, that certainly doesn't mean that we didn't arm ourselves with a backup plan.
PROTECTED BY INFIDEL NINJA SPORK WARRIORS sounds infinitely more terrifying than a PROTECTED BY RADIO SHACK sign, don't you think?
Candlelight Dinners= Tres Romantique!
Crapping By Candlelight? Umm, not so much.
Candlelight Tweezing= Oh Baby, PLUCK ME....PLUCK ME........PLUCK ME MORE! As AC/DC should have sang it, "You PLUCKED Me All Night Long."
Candlelight Hurdling= In preparation for the JACK BE NIMBLE/JACK BE QUICK CANDLESTICK GAMES.
We grew accustomed to getting lit every night. That sounds sort of wrong, but you know what I mean. As an added bonus, nine days of candle use resulted in a massive accumulation of fruity-scented wax. I'm going to carve an exact likeness of myself out of it.
Always the entrepreneur, my Sunbum decided to capitalize on the power outage by opening up her own door-to-door Underwear Washateria and Professional Skidmark Removal Service. Ahh, my Sunbum, making her mark by erasing the marks of others.
She didn't have to look far for her first customer. Desperate and down to her last pair of fresh undies, Stef Knee hired Sunbum to do the job that no other Infidel wanted to do.
Our neighbor gifted us with a box stuffed full of Vienna Sausages. I think this situation falls somewhere under the "Love Thy Neighbor" statute and so I had little choice but to graciously accept his inedible weenie bits-and-pieces.
Weenies In A Box= Fun For The Whole Family!
Forget that ridiculous Speed Stacking Cup sport, we made our own new and improved Infidel version!
Speed Sausage Stacking.........coming soon to a Food Pantry near you.
Our runner-up idea for using orphaned cans of unwanted Vienna Sausages was to stage a sort of 2008 update of the "Hands Across America" movement. We were going to call it "Vienna Sausages Across America Across The Atlantic Ocean And Back To Vienna Where They Belong."
So much action and adventure and it was all powered on nothing but pure, unfiltered Infidel awesomeness!