Sunday, July 18, 2010

I Don't Really Know How I Feel About Black & White Marriages


We recently got invited to the wedding reception of a cute young couple whose parents are both in our ward at church.
Their wedding colors are black and white but I think they may have taken their color scheme a bit too far because the bridal registry listed a request for not one but TWO toasters........one black and the other white.
Twas' A Tale Of Two Toasters!
What I can't decide is if this startling appliance move represents a spirit of integration or the atrocity of segregation.
Will the toasters sit side-by-side symbolizing a harmonious yin and yang or will they be forced to perform toasting tasks based solely on color?
All right, all you boxes of toaster treats, let's line it up........Dark Chocolate Pop-Tarts on the left, Vanilla Milkshake Pop-tarts on the right, please.
Perhaps they're wisely anticipating that the newlywed novelty will wear off fairly quickly and they're looking for some cheap thrills and entertainment in the form of toaster races.
Who's toast will get done first? *cue soaring adventure soundtrack music* Find out and see on the all new heart-stopping reality action series "A Watched Toaster Never Pops.....Or Does It?" *swelling ominous music*
There's a real possibility that these two may end up succumbing to the illicit seedy world of illegal toaster gambling.
"I'm putting everything I got on white. Let it ride, baby!!!"
Maybe owning two toasters is just the new status symbol of choice among the whippersnapper set.
Maybe they're saving all the brown, crumbly toaster leavins' in the little trays in hopes of constructing them into a magnificent artistic rendering of their wedding day to hang above the mantel.
Maybe they got stock in the Eggo waffle company as a wedding gift.
Oh, there's so very many possibilities and questions here.
On the plus side though, the happy couple can always "get toasted" together anytime they want.
After all, isn't the sharing of quality time the secret to marital success?
I think it's only apropos that we propose a "toast" to the bride and groom and offer them much toasting happiness for all time and eternity............or however long their toaster warranties last.
Whichever comes first. 

6 comments:

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

Why do I keep wanting to sing "Torn between two toasters....feeling like such a foollllll?"

Is this natural? Should I see my doctor for advice and/or a prescription?

Nancy Face said...

Gosh oh jeekers, you crack me up! :D

Carrot Jello said...

Yeah, I got nothing.
Had you blogged about blenders, I would have had a hilarious comment. But no, you had to go all toastal on us.

jams o donnell said...

Ebony and Ivvory toast together in perfect harmony... A curse on McCartney and Jackson for that song!

Klin said...

I just don't have anything punny in me. But this is awesome!!!

Jean Knee said...

I don't even own one toaster. we toast things in the oven.


....and now I feel so empty