Run For Your Lives!!!!

I'm gonna blow. Caution! The forecast calls for a torrential salty typhoon of self pity ahead followed by large nasal drips. Moderate to severe bellyaching also sweeping across the blogger horizon today.

It's not like me to lose my sunny outlook on life, but the past few days have really worn me down. Why can't maladies show up one at a time instead of waiting for me to pass that dimly lit back alley where they're all hanging out, just waiting to gang up on me? Who taught them how to Kung Fu fight? Hey, I guess by this point, everybody really is Kung Fu fighting.

Here's my list. It's a malady cavalcade!
1. I'm sick. I already know that I'm a sick freak. No, not that kind of sick. The coughing, aching, sneezing, shaking, boogers out of the wazoo kind of sick. I'm not pointing a finger of blame at anyone.......oh what the heck, yes I am! I want to point a particular middle finger towards the guilty party. Do not attend homeschooling activities or any other event where there are lots of people and lots of babies if you know that you have a cold. I've been in agony since Saturday night, and can barely breathe or swallow because my throat is so inflamed. Luckily, the germs stopped with me so I don't have to contend with whiny, sick children rubbing their slimy noses on everything in the house. The sofa has seen enough mucous crust for one lifetime. See? I am still able to point out the bright side of things. Good. Although, from my current vantage point, the bright side is located somewhere at the end of the dark tunnel that faceless voices keep calling me to come towards. "Walk towards the light, walk towards the light." It might be a trap.

2. I have two hideous pimples on my cheek that not even my famously deep dimples can camouflage.

3. We switched shampoos because I can only tolerate those with a mild fruity scent. I guess that's because I, myself, am also mild and fruity. Just so you know, Garnier Fructis shampoo/conditioner combo gave me raging dandruff. I have a massively huge bottle of it left to finish. I'm trying not to be wasteful. Looks like Houston's gonna have that improbable White Christmas after all.

4. The glamorous life of a newspaper carrier means that you have to work even when you feel like crap. I've gone to work while in early labor, delivered a baby, and then returned the next day. Beat that! Somehow, this doesn't feel like what Helen Reddy had in mind while belting out, "I am woman, hear me roar." Although, I really am "too big to ignore." Too loud, too. Sometimes, I feel really bitter when I hear women complaining about vacations they've been privileged to take. Then complaining about their husbands who are never home. Ummmm, that's because they're out supporting YOU, so that you may have the time to complain about them.(military wives excluded) Then moving on to complain about how much they struggle to be perfect. Where is the perspective? Yes, I DO get the irony that I'm complaining about people complaining.

5. We have a leaky roof and an exorbitantly high insurance deductible. It won't be long before I can teach my children all about Toxic Mold and maybe delve into a little Mycological endeavor, because we'll have mushrooms growing right in our very own living room. Educational opportunities abound!

There's more, lots more, but I'm all out of energy. Even my fingers ache. Yes, I have a tremendous amount of blessings in my life too, but for just one teensy tiny moment I'm feeling pity for myself and annoyance at feeling that pity. It's MY pity party, and I'll whine if I want to, whine if I want to, whiiiiiine if I want to. Oh, how the internal struggle battles on.......