The kids and I are leaving for a destination deep in the heart of Texas today, where the stars at night are big and bright, and the cowgirls cry "Yippee Yi." Sadly, or gladly, depending on how technologically attached you are, this is also one of the only pristine places left on the face of the Earth that features neither Internet access nor cell phone reception. Yes, we literally are going to "Butts Camp" for a refresher course along with our fellow homeschooling comrades, and then much fun and adventure await us as I handle six kids single handedly in the wilds of the San Antonio metropolis. We're on a special mission to find Pee Wee Herman's red bike in the basement of The Alamo!
Ya'all come back now, ya hear? Yes, peruse these exciting blog events scheduled upon our return back to civilization.
1. The unveiling of a brand new Smiling Infidel. Now with 68.8675% more smileys!!!! Much thanks to the creative efforts of super feiend, Omar, and his gift of a facelift to me. Not that I need a facelift mind you. I need a tummy tuck, electrolysis, liposuction...... Well, to clarify, it's a blog facelift. All the wrinkles smoothed out with nary an injection of botulism.
2. Nestled between the scheduled return of Lianne from France and Halloween, the Infidel will proudly present, "WOO WOO WEEK", as a nod to the Goddess of Woo Woo herself, Lianne. Better gather up your extra Depends adult diapers and nitroglycerin pills, boys and girls, because I'll be retelling all the truly strange, and occasionally horrifying paranormal things that have happened to me and people that I know. Chills and mini freakouts galore!
3. Think you have what it takes to be a member of The Smiling Infidel gang? We'll show you all our covert hand gestures, gang initiations, slang, and the official Infidel gang snack, YooHoo chocolate drink. Yes, if you're prepared for some grueling tasks and learning cornball lingo to hang with us, then have your smiley faced doo rags and bandanas at the ready.
4. The monkey sock mania continues as I once again show off a new pair sure to make Radioactive Jam seethe in blinding monkey socked jealousy. This one had him conceding victory to me, as he sensed my monkey sock supremeness over him.
5. A Tale Of Two Kitties. The youngest of my spawn, Melody, will show off her true fashion loves, her kitty cat dresses.
6. To all blog friends, old and new, I'll miss you. To all you lurkers, you know who you are, and I'm certainly not above employing guilt complex techniques to call you out. Comment already!!! Let's work together to shatter the previous comment record of 36 here. Even if you just stop by and write, "Your blog is a total waste of time for me to read, and yet I can't stop myself from coming back for more.", it's all good, and counts as one more towards beating the all time high of 36.
I'll bring you guys back lots of cheesy souvenirs, and the requisite vacation picture slide show. Yay! How excited are you for my blog return now, huh? And with that, I bid you all a fond adieu.