It's that time of the month again. No, not that time.......Good Mail Girl Booty Roundup Time!
That Crazy Bloggin Canuck, Amber practically insinuated that she could smell my foul Infidel breath all the way up into the pristine mountain air of Colorado, so she sent me some minty fresh gum to remedy the odorific situation! She also sent me a headband which she claims I can use as a miniature butt towel. Ha! That wouldn't even be big enough to absorb the beads of sweat on my upper lip. I've devised some other uses for Amber's gift. More on that in a future post.
Jeannie from Texas sent the purdy butterfly card which got front door space on our refrigerator. That's like the card V.I.P section in the Infidel house.
Isaura, another Texas peep, sent the Picasso replicate note card. It struck me as funny since during my dad's bachelor days, he only had this one framed print hanging on his walls. Nothing else. Not even a Farrah Fawcett poster. How incestuous do you presume the Internet to be? Well, cue up the "It's A Small World After All," music because Isaura not only calls H-Town home like I do, but I also know her parents who attend Church in the same Ward as us. Her father organized a kickin Homeschool Tour of The Port Of Houston, where he's the Big Jefe Poobah, last year, and completed our tour with a waiting table full of chili dogs! Yeah, free chili dogs=undying Infidel love. It's all so freaky, really. But in a good way. So, mind your tongue, because you just never know who may stumble across the things you write.
Look at the address label closely and you'll know who sent me a leetle birthday package stuffed full like a veritable cornucopia of goodness all for me! No Cool Story's gift arrived just in time as our house sat smack dab in the middle of a Houston style typhoon. Luckily, No Cool Story knows all and she thoughtfully provided me a super special umbrella hat to protect my lustrous Infidel hair from the harsh elements. I've always wanted balls, and now I have three! Not only that, but they're Smiling Infidel balls! Due to my generous nature I divvied up the remaining goodies with the mini-Infidels. Thanks No Cool Story!
Even my Papi received Good Mail this week. He came rushing in from the mailbox with flushed cheeks, excitedly waving this catalogue around that bore his name on the back. Yes, it seems that the company, Uniquely Quince, wants Papi to "embrace his inner princess" and use their over priced quinceanera products to "show off his sparkle." I flipped through the countless pages of glittering tiaras, scepters, attendant gifts, various party themes, and felt immediately grateful that we're not Catholic. Holy frickin crap, with 4 girls that would hit their quinceanera age within a 6 year span, we'd have to file bankruptcy. No, when my young ladies turn 15, I'll let them order the big pack of Chicken Nuggets at McDonald's to celebrate. Fifteen nuggets for each of their fifteen years. If they have a party, we'll make it a festive Dollar Store theme. Mismatched My Little Pony paper plates and party decorations imported from China for everybody!