Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Oh, Poor Pitiful Me

After you get done clicking the title, you can sing it with me y'all......."I've Had A CRAP Day, The Ulcer Don't Lie, I'm Being Stomped Down, And I Really DO Mind. I Had A CRAP Day, Yeah, I Had A CRAP Day."
I'll spare you the series of unfortunate events in all their misery inducing detail and instead use a speedy list form lest you get pulled down into the depths of despair with one non-Smiling Infidel:
1. I've toiled endlessly for the past two days straight with only a couple hours sleep wedged in between. During my scant few hours of slumber last night, Papi woke me up to tell me that I was farting and giggling in my sleep. Hmmmm, it reminds me of that song, "I hear the secrets that you keep when you're farting in your sleep." Kind of dispels the myth of the paradisaical dream world, doesn't it?
2. Papi's 5 day a week summer school schedule means that I have to haul the mini-Infidels to their activities and arrange working around taking care of them without any help. I've also had to take on some of Papi's part time jobs because he's at school. See? I'm proving that we don't need to flood our country with illegal labor when we have sucker white chicks who'll work hard for next to nothing.
3. Hot time, summer in the city, back of my neck getting dirty and gritty. Yeah, the scorching sun makes my job and the job of my cherished Butt Towel, just that much more difficult. As an added bonus, I twisted my back and have taken to walking stooped over since Monday night since I can't straighten up without searing pain shooting down my spine. Combine that with my super hairy arms and I look like Cro-Magnon man, not even evolved enough to appear on a Geico commercial.
4. I took the kids to the pool around 7:00 tonight, and then my truck wouldn't start when it came time to go home. Papi's at the pool right now trying to get a new battery into it. Have you ever seen a fat woman in a clingy wet bathing suit pushing a full size truck to try and get it started? It ain't a pretty sight people.
5. We've lived with our 11 year old dryer making unnerving screechy noises like the big shower scene in Psycho for the past few months. Sadly, it progressed to a point of shaking and heating up to near explosive temperatures before finally going to the big dryer heaven in the sky. We're now the proud owners of a brand new dryer..........and a 250.00 bill that has to be paid in a month to avoid finance and interest charges.
6. I already told you about my practically new truck tire getting punctured at Boy Scout Camp. Farewell 100.00 dollars, it was so nice getting to know you for the brief amount of time we had together.
7. I'm neglecting all of the glorious blogger comments you guys have left. THANK YOU, that's the one bright spot in this otherwise sucky week. Things will settle down by tomorrow afternoon, and I'll make my triumphant return to comment with a vengeance. No good comment goes unpunished or unreturned around here.

Because I'm in a state of suffering, so shall you suffer too. I'm going to play some P. Diddy until I return tomorrow. Have fun reading while plugging your ears!

26 comments:

No Cool Story said...

Poor Infidel, dude, it's raining on wet over there.
Take your time, sounds like you need to recover from all the happenings.

"Last Night
couldn't even get an answah
tried to caaaaall,
and problam lat me dann
I'm sitting here
with this blank expresshun..."

BarnGoddess said...

damn, sorry about your sucky week.

when it rains it pours!

I hope your truck is back up and running, being auto-less SUCKS

((hugs))

Tori :) said...

The butt towel... I love it. Only people who have lived in Texas truly understand the butt towel.
I hope the Smiling Infidel is smiling soon once again. At least you were happy while you slept...

Elizabeth-W said...

I hear the secrets that you keep....Whenever my sister or I hear that song, we automatically call each other, and preferably the other person doesn't answer, so you get to leave just the song on the answering machine. We're weird like that.
I'm so sorry that you've gone through all these very annoying things. I hate spending perfectly good money on things like dryer repair, tires, and root canals.

Amanda said...

So sorry to hear that you are having a crappy week! I hope that it gets bright and sunny soon and that the smiling infidel makes a quick comeback.

Kimberly said...

Oi...that is beyond crappy. Looks like you're swimming in the fountain from which all crap flows.

One of the truly crummy things about living so far away from bloggy buds, is not being able to help them out in any tangible way.

If I lived closer I'd ferry the mini-infidels around for you. And bake you stuff. Yeah.

Toni said...

My gosh you have taken on a lot! I hope your back gets better soon, and the runs stop!

Melissa said...

P Diddy... yeah... that should do it. You need to do what Terri Clark did... hire a bunch of guys to hit on ya and then drive away with the cute one. That would make you feel better... :D
Here's hoping things get better soon!

PJ said...

Sorry your day is crappy. You made my day not so crappy! Great "good mail" Girl. Don't you think good mail is like pimping a comment? Love it

Hope your week gets better!

aubrey said...

sounds like you had yourself a sucky day. sorry for that, girl! you're killin me with this diddy song though. eck. pdiddy, puffy, dpiddy, sean combs, what the heck is that guy's name. he thinks he's so cool. and he's so not.

Kimberly said...

Sorry babe! No good mail goodness yet. Canada Post truly sucks though. No need to despair yet!

on.the.run said...

Sorry it all sucks - we should go get some ice-cream somewhere.... let all the kids run around like hulagans while we pretend like they don't belong to us.

I have woken myself up farting and laughing in my sleep - either my laughing or my farting must have been louder then yours.

shay said...

ARGH!!! I'm feeling your pain! YIKES. If it makes you feel any better you made me laugh:) If no crap happened to us what would we put in our blogs??!! (Trying to see the bright side for ya. Not working? sorry!)
Oh and I loved your Homeschooling comment on my blog. I know all about being alone with the kiddies and what that means to a homeschool mom! Hang in there girl! Put them to bed and have a glass (or three) of wine;-) Works for me!

Chris said...

My crap week was last week, (heck, even this one is crappy) so I know how you feel.

But even in my darkest hour, I wouldn't have turned to P Diddy. Shame on thee!

*runs off to listen to Hilary Duff...

Carrotjello said...

Heh heh...I can't ever hear bestaudiocodes.

Carrotjello said...

Hey wait a second...where's my first comment?? The one about ice cream?? Was it so good you wanted to keep it for your eyes only?

jams o donnell said...

Yikes you have had a rotten week (reminds me of a three day period a couple of years back when teh toilet blocked, I put a huge dent in our old car, reversing into a skip, the boiler packed in and the shower burned out). I hope things are looking up for you.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Chris, just know that you and your Hilary Duff comment made me laugh. At least the girls good for something.

Carrot, I know it constitutes blasphemy but I don't use best audio codes anymore. I switched to Music Jesus, which really bothers my girls so I call it Musica Jesus (Hey Zeus!) to lessen the offensiveness. Know what I do with your comments? I print them out and roll around the floor with them just like Demi Moore and her stack of cash in 'Indecent Proposal.' Yeah, that's how much I love your comments.

on the run- We need to go someplace cheap. Maybe McDonalds and their dollar sundaes would satisfy the hungry hooligan masses. I think they're just as good as the overpriced stuff at Carvel. 4 bucks for a regular sized ice cream is obscene.

jams- It's not likely to get better. I'm leaving in an hour to face a traffic ticket I got last month.

Kim- I knew it would take longer to get there, but 2 whole weeks???!!? What was it that Carly Simon sang?" Anticipation, anticipation, it's driving me mad, making me craaazzzzzyyyy." So, is the anticipation driving you mad or making you crazy yet?

Thanks for your comments y'all. Don't fret, I'm working my way slowly but surely to everyone's blogs.

nikko said...

Yikes. That is crappy. Sorry for your sucky week. Hopefully things will start looking up and you can get back to your normally fun-loving self.

tracey said...

Er...can you stop farting once you're awake???

b. said...

Farting and giggling in your sleep, that means you are REALLY REALLY tired. Don't ask me how I know that.
I'm sorry your week has royally sucked. Has it gotten any better?

Pollyanna said...

I'm so sorry about your yucky crappy week. Anytime you have pain AND have to part with money AND have to embarrass yourself by pushing a car down the street with nothing on but a swimsuit... you win. Your week has officially sucked.

The good news is, it probably won't be as bad next week. Isn't that a happy thought?

Isaura said...

WOW, maybe its in the air in these parts because my week has been about a load of crap too. AND its nasty hot which dosen't calm the nerves. Props to you working the extra jobs and I LOVE your new music.

carronin said...

I'm so sorry you've had a crap week. The same thing always seems to happen at my house too everythng falls apart at the same time. I wish I lived in Houston right now so I could help you with those all paper routes. Take care of yourself.

Suzanne said...

Ooh, those bad boy scouts! I'm sorry that you're having such a terrible week. It seems like all the world comes crashing down at once, doesn't it! I'll be thinking of you and don't feel like you're neglecting blogs. We'll be here waiting when you come back! :)

Kimberly said...

You should've seen Neil roll his eyes when I insisted on checking the mail before we left town yesterday. And me, as I walked out of the Post Office, sad and dejected, clutching a pile of junk mail to my chest. Alas!