Monday, October 22, 2007

The Monsters Be Lookin At Me As If To Say 'You Don't need No More Candy Today!'

Have you ever noticed how retail stores deploy crafty techniques to keep their candy merchandise safe from the hands of little would-be candy thieves looking to acquire sticky fingers in more ways than one?

Yeah, motion-activated mad scientists and howling skeletons would definitely deter most young Milk Dud addicts from plundering into the sweet stuff. This is no coincidence. The ingenious ploy engineered to prevent people from pilfering the treats and leaving empty wrappers behind as a trick is rooted in the scarecrow technology that farmers have used for centuries to keep their corn crops safe. We nail crucifixes up above the door to keep vampires away, right? [Well, we'd probably make an exception for the vampiric but delicious Edward Cullen.] I intimidate Papi with my astoundingly whiffy gastronomic arsenal that I always have at the ready to keep him firmly ensconced on his own side of the bed. So why shouldn't shopping centers keep a talisman of sorts to ward off candy-taking evil spirits too?

Do you need a candy protector for your Halloween harvest this year? I hear the Boogeyman is available and he's slashing em deep.........slashing his prices deep, that is!

34 comments:

elasticwaistbandlady said...

My grandpa passed away this weekend after a long illness. I won't be around too much until the end of the week because I'm going to have to double up my work schedule to make time for the funeral and such. I'll try to continue posting something Halloweenie until the big day.

Coming up:
The Chihuahua Face Haunting

A Scary Houston Halloween Decoration Tour

A Neighborhood Falling Into Ron Paul For President Zombie Mode

and so much more......

Special K ~Toni said...

Wow! Sorry to hear that! I will be thinking of you!

Tori :) said...

I'm sorry to hear about your grandpa Elastic!! :(

Tori :) said...

I could use something that starts singing "Baby Got Back" everytime I reach for candy...

Lisa said...

Sorry about your grandpa.

Your stores are so fancy with the halloween decorations. And what a description, "astoundingly whiffy gastonomic arsenal"!!!

Stacey said...

I'm sorry to hear about your grandpa Elastic.

There is a creepy butler at my local grocery store and I can honestly say that is why we have no candy. He's a freaky dude!

Elizabeth-W said...

That creepy butler looks just like my father in law and we remind him this time of year that he was so freaky looking my now-4 year old daughter would scream if she got too close to him at the local Fred Meyer.
So sorry to hear about your loss, and the way we aren't allowed much mourning time in our society.

jams o donnell said...

I'm really sorry to hear about your grandfather EWBL

We are Halloween lightweights here. not even a scary spider guarding the goodies at the local supermarkt!

No Cool Story said...

:( Sorry about your Grandpa Elastic ((Squeezy hugs))

How did you ever get all these pics without being escorted out the store and having your camera confiscated?

And don’t think I didn’t see that Edward reference!

Nancy Face said...

I'm so very sorry to hear about your Grandpa.

Nancy Face said...

I ♥ creepy motion-activated Halloween things...LOVE them, I say...especially the big creepy butler at my favorite grocery store!

I could enjoy finding a delicious Edward Cullen in my Halloween candy stash...

Bee said...

That picture on the left looks like a mini me only taller than me!

clcik!

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

I'm sorry to hear he passed away. :( Hugs for you and Grandma.

We nail crucifixes up above the door to keep vampires away, right?

That's why I have a miniature beheaded vampire above my door. You know how we feel about crucifixes.

Geosomin said...

I'm crazy pickle face man.
I've got a pickle on my face!
Isn't that crazy?
Now gimme some candy!

*ahem*
Last year we were out for halloween and put a bowl of candy out with a sign saying "take jut 2 or Agrajag will haunt you"...and they did. There was still some left when we got home.

So sorry about your Grandpa.

Physcokity said...

Edward **swoon** good thing they run all Hallothanksmas into one big celebration then I can for a certain something for Christmas...

Oh wait that scary Butler really did hit me over the head hard when I reached for that misplace bag of milk duds.

Sorry to hear about the passing.

Physcokity said...

Proofread much?

...then I can ask for a certain something...

Annie said...

I'm sorry to hear he passed away. :( Hugs for you and Grandma.

We nail crucifixes up above the door to keep vampires away, right?

That's why I have a miniature beheaded vampire above my door. You know how we feel about crucifixes.

Geosomin said...

The more I think about it, "motion-activated mad scientists " *would* be better than candy.

Nancy Face said...

I have an award for you! :)

carronin said...

Sorry to hear about your Grandpa (((hugs)))

Annie is stealing comments again. Bad Annie.

Jean Knee said...

If you don't want kids to grab at candy, just do what my grandma used to do, lick it while they watch then stuff it back in the package. ya don't even have to tell 'em no







she didn't really do that but it made a good story

Bee said...

CLICKY FORM HOME

Lisa said...

Hey, the cat is back! Every time I see this ad, I think of Elastic. :)

Hope you are doing well.

Carrot Jello said...

Ha ha! That is HILARIOUS! That guy...wit the gloves...and his face! CLASSIC! All that candy...and the monitor...ooh creepy!

nora.lakehurst said...

Im sorry you had a loss of a grandparent. I hope you are doing well and that you are okay.

On the happy note my little one LOVES her haunting stuff. Her favorite thing is the bowl with the hand that comes down when you put your hand in it. She loves it seriously its so cute.

Amber said...

Elastic, I'm so sorry about your Grandpa! I hope everything goes well for you this week.

As for your post, it reminds me of an AFV where a guy dressed up as a statue and sat on the porch with a bowl of candy. The goal? Scare the crap out of everyone who tried to grab some. The problem was he ended up getting a left hook.....

Suzanne said...

I'm sad you lost your Grandpa, Elastic! We will miss you!

O.k., I have to admit that I totally LOL when my boys walk by one of those motion activated figures. They scream and it makes me chuckle. Is that wrong??? :)

Bee said...

.
.
.
Work click...

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

Um. Annie copied my comment.

Evil Kitty said...

Shouldn't this song be Evil Kitties of London? Werevolves ain't got nuthin on Evil Kitty.

Evil Kitty said...

Hey Geosomin just remember that Evil Kitty was the first kitty here and we will get along just fine.

omar said...

Sorry to hear about your grandpa, elastic.

Melissa said...

Elastic - sorry to hear about your grandpa....

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Thanks for all the condolences!!! It was a sad event but hardly unexpected. The doctor gave him a month to live two weeks ago and he had two major illnesses fighting aginst him within his body. Some things are just inevitable.